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Angry Moment!

Posted by on Feb. 14, 2014 at 12:57 AM
  • 28 Replies
2 moms liked this

I'm sick of going on my newsfeed and seeing everyone have baby girls my daughter's age or younger! Even worse have a girl after 2+ boys! It's not bloody fair! I miss my Isabelle so much! Why couldn't I have her here with us?! Why couldn't I pick out pretty dresses and put cute hand bands on her?! I'm angry and sad all at the same time. I want to cry and scream!

I loves my 3 boys so much I really do. But I wanted a daughter so badly! I wanted to braid her hair and play dress up and have tea parties. I wanted to teach her about boys and how puberty sucks. I wanted to fight with her when she is a teenager because I don't like how she dresses and who she wants to date. I want to see her go to college and have fun. I want to see her find an awesome guy and get married. I want to see her have babies and be my best friend. I wanted a real mother daughter relationship I never had with my mom because she wasn't my mom, I was more of my mom's mom. I just want my daughter back!

Why, why, why couldn't I have her?! I just want to understand! What did I have to learn?! Why couldn't Isabelle stay and I see her grow up?! Why punish me seeing all this happy people getting girls and doing everything I wanted to do?! Ugh I want to just scream at the top of my lungs "This isn't bloody fair!" I hate this, I hate feeling like this. I look at Christian sometimes and try to picture Isabelle and if they would look alike because Isabelle had the same long skinny fingers like Mason. But does Christian have something like hers? What would she have been like? 

I just feel so bad looking at those stupid pictures because I'm so envious but I can't seem to look away or hide them. It is like I want to torture myself. Sometimes I get so angry like why them? Why could they have their little girl and I couldn't have mine? Then I feel horrible because I wouldn't wish this feeling and pain of loss on my worst enemy. But why couldn't they just have a boy? Why did they get to experience having both genders?

Ok rant over. Just had a moment. 

by on Feb. 14, 2014 at 12:57 AM
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Replies (1-10):
Herlache
by on Feb. 14, 2014 at 2:09 AM
1 mom liked this
You need to vent! It's so hard! There was just another story on fb about a mom leaving her infant in the car while shopping leaving a note on the baby. Why can people like that have their babies and we can't! I struggle every day when dd constantly asks for a brother or sister. ((HUGS))
MommytoangelE07
by on Feb. 14, 2014 at 2:29 AM
1 mom liked this
Some of your words echo my thoughts when I see people I know getting pregnant or having their babies.
I'm sry you're having a rough day. The things you said you wanted to do with your Isabelle truly touched me. I am adopted so I yearn for that strong mother-daughter bond as well!

((Hugs)) to you. There is nothing I can say to make the hurt go away or to make this better. I just hope your newsfeed will calm down for a little to give you some peace!
Dannimarie418
by Danielle on Feb. 14, 2014 at 6:56 AM
I seen that post on fb too and it does make me so angry, ppl that don't need children (clearly if shes leaving her daughter in the car alone while she shops)

Quoting Herlache: You need to vent! It's so hard! There was just another story on fb about a mom leaving her infant in the car while shopping leaving a note on the baby. Why can people like that have their babies and we can't! I struggle every day when dd constantly asks for a brother or sister. ((HUGS))
Dannimarie418
by Danielle on Feb. 14, 2014 at 7:00 AM
1 mom liked this
Your not being punished Hun. God didn't take our angels for anything we did wrong. My baby had severe chromosome abnormalities, I take it that god was protecting my baby from a long life of suffering. Although I still have tons of the resentment to pregnant woman like you do. I hadn't found out the sex yet but the hubby and I were praying for a healthy little girl. And I have about 10 pregnant people around me. Friends family. But I know I'll get my chance. Hoping this month of course. But we will see. I wish you luck, {{HUGS}}
jessica11r
by Bronze Member on Feb. 14, 2014 at 9:07 AM
*hugs* I'm so sorry. I can relate because I get that way with pregnancy announcements. Even now that I'm 32 weeks with my rainbow I still feel a sting of pain and jealousy when someone announces their pregnancy. It's worse when they announce as soon as they poas and they had no problems getting pregnant. I just want to scream, "don't you know anything can happen?! What makes you so sure that line means a healthy baby!" But I don't, I just ignore the post and try and move on. I wish none of us had to go through this.
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Irene1923
by Tina on Feb. 14, 2014 at 9:19 AM
*Hugs* I wish none of us had to carry our burdens. My sister-in-law's daughter was born sleeping due to a heart defect. That was her only chance at a child. I know that it is hard for her to watch my little Chloë grow because she will never know what it is like to have a daughter or any child. I know she loves Chloë and is happy and does like seeing her pictures, but I also know it has to hurt too. I don't send her pictures, just let her see the few I post on FB because I don't want to hurt her more. It is a pain I can't fully understand because I have my rainbow. She will never get that chance.

Sometimes we need to vent and get our pain out. It is ok mourn what should have been while loving what is. .
mylilprincesses
by on Feb. 14, 2014 at 9:34 AM
1 mom liked this
((Hugs))
iSMILEheCRIES
by Platinum Member on Feb. 14, 2014 at 1:19 PM
Hugs Desiree. I just don't know why. I ask myself why Gemma has to be so sick, and wonder if Lily would have been different. I know its a little different, but I kinda understand. I'm so very sorry honey
mommyofnoah208
by on Feb. 14, 2014 at 5:02 PM
I am so sorry Desiree. Thinking of you. It isn't fair your right and I just don't know why :(
blessedmommie07
by Desiree-admin on Feb. 14, 2014 at 5:52 PM

 Thanks.  I am usually fine but last night I just got hit with sudden anger and saddeness.  I haven't heard about that story but it sounds awful.  Of course it would be nice and easy to run into a store alone but doesn't mean you should!

Quoting Herlache: You need to vent! It's so hard! There was just another story on fb about a mom leaving her infant in the car while shopping leaving a note on the baby. Why can people like that have their babies and we can't! I struggle every day when dd constantly asks for a brother or sister. ((HUGS))

 

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