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Miscarriage and Pregnancy Loss Support Miscarriage and Pregnancy Loss Support

I'm new here, I need support.

Posted by on Mar. 31, 2014 at 12:41 PM
  • 19 Replies
Hi, I'm Amber and I'm new to this sort of thing. I have one 4 year old daughter and I've wanted another baby since she was about 1 year old. I also have 3 step kids (ages 13, 10, and 8).

Long story short, my husband didn't want to have any more children so even though it's been very difficult I've tried to respect his wishes. On January 1, 2014 he told me he wanted to have another baby. I have endometriosis, missing half an ovary and I have some other misc female issues so I went to a gyno to get checked out before trying. Since we haven't been preventing and I hadn't gotten pregnant, he said I needed surgery to be able to conceive. Less than a week later I felt very sick and ended up taking a pregnancy test. It was positive. My husband was so excited, but I didn't feel good about it for some reason and I didn't want to tell anyone until we had our first sonogram.

We went to visit his ailing grandfather in Arkansas (We live in TX) that same week and while we were there I started bleeding. My Dr. told me to go to a local ER and they confirmed that I was having a miscarriage at nearly 6 weeks. We went back to his grandparents' house and I said I was just having stomach problems. We didn't want the last time we saw him to be a sad time. On our way home I passed some tissue in the bathroom of a gas station, and when I saw it I felt so sick. I have seen the same thing two other times before. Because of my pelvic problems I have VERY painful, horrible periods every month that can also be irregular, so it really didn't feel any different. It so awful to think that I've had three miscarriages.

I have now had 3 normal cycles since the loss and even though I have been using ovulation tests to see when I am most fertile I am still not pregnant.

The more time that passes, I think I feel worse than better. I get SO sad. I've only told a couple of my friends and none of my family... now I'm starting to question if I made the right decision. My thinking was, if people make hurtful comments and they don't know, it's easier to excuse. The few people that I have told have unintentionally said some hurtful things and it's harder to forgive.

Sorry for writing so much, I just have basically no one to talk to and no support. I'm hoping someone can tell me that they've been where I'm at and that it gets better. It's been over 2 months and it's just as hard today as it was then. Thanks in advance!
by on Mar. 31, 2014 at 12:41 PM
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Replies (1-10):
KekeLi938
by Member on Mar. 31, 2014 at 1:51 PM
1 mom liked this
I am so sorry for your loss. I had my first miscarriage at 5 weeks. I have found lots of support in this group.
amber8700
by New Member on Mar. 31, 2014 at 2:07 PM
1 mom liked this
Thank you so much! It's nice to know that I'm not alone.

Quoting KekeLi938: I am so sorry for your loss. I had my first miscarriage at 5 weeks. I have found lots of support in this group.
mss119
by Member on Mar. 31, 2014 at 2:22 PM
1 mom liked this
I'mIn sorry your struggling so much. I'm newer to the group but have had five miscarriages, I know how it can hurt. You are not alone! I hope you find peace, and that you get your rainbow baby.
Herlache
by Jessie on Mar. 31, 2014 at 2:36 PM
1 mom liked this
I'm sorry for your losses! I've had four mc's in a row. Every month that goes by and I'm not pregnant I feel like crying. Will I ever get my rainbow? You are definitely not alone in your feelings. In this group you don't have to worry about asking something stupid or feel bad in any way one of us have been through it. And can relate. It's better to let it out then hold it in! ((hugs))
amber8700
by New Member on Mar. 31, 2014 at 3:14 PM
Thank you so much, ladies. I have been trying to hold it in because I don't feel like anyone really understands. Not even my husband. He is fine. He was sad when it happened but he just wants to forget it and try for a new baby. I just don't deal with things that way.

How long does it take before you stop feeling sad and crying throughout the day? Does it only get better when you finally have a healthy baby? I never thought I would be in this position. I just feel so blessed that I got to have my daughter at all. I know that so many women aren't so lucky. :(
blessedmommie07
by Desiree on Mar. 31, 2014 at 4:17 PM
1 mom liked this

I'm sorry for your losses.  I know it can be frustrating that you've been ttc and it isn't happening but don't give up hope.  Sometimes it can take a bit longer when you want it so badly. *hugs*

Angela4boys
by Angela on Mar. 31, 2014 at 5:15 PM
1 mom liked this
I'm so sorry for your loss ((hugs)). Welcome to the group, I'm sorry you have to be here...we are all here for you.
cali_angel_girl
by Amy on Mar. 31, 2014 at 5:25 PM
1 mom liked this

((hugs)) I am so sorry for your loss hun.

CountryMom2014
by Member on Mar. 31, 2014 at 5:46 PM
1 mom liked this
There's no timeline. Don't feel like you have to be 'okay' or that you're sad longer than you should be. Everyone grieves differently. I'm so sorry for your loss. I lost my twins at 15 weeks pregnant just 5 weeks ago. I have more good days now but I still have bad days. I think my other children have helped. We're not ttc yet. I have a lot of female issues, too. We can't start until about August. I hope you get your rainbow baby soon. ((Hugs))

Quoting amber8700: Thank you so much, ladies. I have been trying to hold it in because I don't feel like anyone really understands. Not even my husband. He is fine. He was sad when it happened but he just wants to forget it and try for a new baby. I just don't deal with things that way.

How long does it take before you stop feeling sad and crying throughout the day? Does it only get better when you finally have a healthy baby? I never thought I would be in this position. I just feel so blessed that I got to have my daughter at all. I know that so many women aren't so lucky. :(
amber8700
by New Member on Mar. 31, 2014 at 6:10 PM
1 mom liked this
It means so much to me to hear from all of you, I am so touched by your responses. Thank you!
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