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Miscarriage and Pregnancy Loss Support Miscarriage and Pregnancy Loss Support

How Have You Changed?

Posted by on May. 2, 2014 at 9:29 AM
  • 21 Replies

How have you changed as a person since your miscarriage? What is different? Has anyone commented that your not the same? Do they think it is good or bad?  What do you think?  

by on May. 2, 2014 at 9:29 AM
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Replies (1-10):
cmj33
by Member on May. 2, 2014 at 11:13 AM
I think I have changed a lot, it shows you how much you can love some one you never even met. I definitely dint take time with my son for granted. I finally came to terms with it and know that it wasn't my fault.

Others say my husband and I should stop thinking/talking about it and that I have to "live" with the tattoo that I DECIDED to get for the baby. Apparently it wasn't important enough to remember -.- to us that was still OUR child.
.sp4rkl3z.
by Bronze Member on May. 2, 2014 at 11:18 AM
I'm really bitter and impatient since my son died, and never thought on top of that I'd have 2 miscarriages. So yeah, bitter. But also more compassionate, because I never knew the gravity of pregnancy loss, never knew why someone would be so upset over an early loss. I just didn't get it before Sullivan died and I get it even more now that I've lost 2 during pregnancy. Now I find that other's losses really devastate me
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lovebugs_mom906
by Lisa on May. 2, 2014 at 11:23 AM
I think I'm the same person I was before my loss. I haven't really changed that much. But with my eyes open to the pain and suffering of loss, I tend to be less judgmental and more compassionate towards others.
jessica11r
by Bronze Member on May. 2, 2014 at 12:23 PM
I think I am more compassionate to what others are going through. At first it brought me to a dark place. After 4 losses I was convinced I would never have a rainbow and that i did something wrong. I'm starting to move past that but I still struggle with it even now that I have my rainbow. Now that I am finally a mom to a rainbow I think the losses make me a better one. I feel like I'm more aware of how precious this little miracle is.
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mss119
by Member on May. 2, 2014 at 12:56 PM
I am depressed, and it's hard to maintain any sort of optimism. I find myself often wondering what the point is of life, if there is so much hurt in the world. I am also angry. I am starting grief counseling next week though, so hopefully I can move past this stage.
FutureCooper118
by Member on May. 2, 2014 at 1:09 PM
1 mom liked this

 It's honestly changed my perception of pain. I compare every bad experience with what my miscarriage felt like and miscarriage wins every time. So in a since it's good because I don't get easily upset over small trials but at the same time I can cry on cue if miscarriage is mentioned. I assume every person who is upset or hurting is hurting in that same way and it makes my heart hurt for them. I wouldn't wish that on anyone.

I mourned myself for awhile. I was angry because I was robbed of what I should have been and I'll never be what I was before. I'd look at pictures of me as a child and think "poor thing. you have no idea". That still happens time to time. But the nagging questions of why and how aren't as bothersome.

cali_angel_girl
by Amy on May. 2, 2014 at 6:07 PM

Honestly I don't think it has changed me because I have always been a pretty compassionate person and if anything it has just made me more compassionate.

blessedmommie07
by Desiree on May. 2, 2014 at 11:08 PM

It helped me to take advantage of the time I had with my older boys too. Wow! I'm sorry. Some people just don't understand how deep losing a baby can hit you and hurt unless they have been there. But your right it is your baby and you have a right to keep your baby's memory alive. That does not mean you aren't going on with your life it can mean your living life for your angel. Ugh I dislike arrogant stupid people.  

Quoting cmj33: I think I have changed a lot, it shows you how much you can love some one you never even met. I definitely dint take time with my son for granted. I finally came to terms with it and know that it wasn't my fault. Others say my husband and I should stop thinking/talking about it and that I have to "live" with the tattoo that I DECIDED to get for the baby. Apparently it wasn't important enough to remember -.- to us that was still OUR child.


blessedmommie07
by Desiree on May. 2, 2014 at 11:11 PM

It is amazing how much we finally understand pain of a broken heart after losing our babies. And we relive that pain and feel for the person going through it each time we hear of a loss. Since we wouldn't want anyone to feel or go through what we are because it sucks. 

Quoting .sp4rkl3z.: I'm really bitter and impatient since my son died, and never thought on top of that I'd have 2 miscarriages. So yeah, bitter. But also more compassionate, because I never knew the gravity of pregnancy loss, never knew why someone would be so upset over an early loss. I just didn't get it before Sullivan died and I get it even more now that I've lost 2 during pregnancy. Now I find that other's losses really devastate me


blessedmommie07
by Desiree on May. 2, 2014 at 11:13 PM

It does make us more aware of why some people may act a certain way or do certain things. But going through losses even challenges can really affect someone. 

Quoting lovebugs_mom906: I think I'm the same person I was before my loss. I haven't really changed that much. But with my eyes open to the pain and suffering of loss, I tend to be less judgmental and more compassionate towards others.


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