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Miscarriage and Pregnancy Loss Support Miscarriage and Pregnancy Loss Support

The roller coaster I'm on...

Posted by on May. 19, 2014 at 9:24 AM
  • 12 Replies

On Friday, after my dr appointment, I was happy as a lark! I was told that I could stop taking the pill (finish off the pack) so that I could get a few good "normal" cycles in before dh and I ttc this fall. She even said that I would make an excellent VBAC candidate.

Saturday, dh just brought me back to the ground with reality, like a ton of bricks. As most of you know, dd was in the hospital with a kidney infection. Dh noted that we won't have anything saved up in our HSA (health savings account). He didn't want me to be upset with him, but it sounds like he wants to push ttc back.

I've been watching the claims online to see when they have been "completed", and it is pretty depressing to watch. We have almost met our family deductible out of pocket max. Yes- our HSA funds will be gone, and we will not have anything saved for baby.

Why does everything good that is going on have to be crushed with reality?

I was looking forward to ttc, and everything else associated with having a baby- we even moved all our totes in the house into one location, including the totes containing my maternity clothes, pump and nb-6mo clothing. Other totes contain miscl items belonging to dh and I- storage area is one thing we do not have with our house.

by on May. 19, 2014 at 9:24 AM
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Replies (1-10):
iSMILEheCRIES
by Platinum Member on May. 19, 2014 at 10:34 AM
3 moms liked this
I have no clue how HSA works. Explain it to me. Because if you think about it, baby won't come til the middle/end of next year... Plenty of time to save in my opinion! Tell dh to suck it
blessedmommie07
by Desiree on May. 19, 2014 at 10:56 AM

*hugs* I'm sorry. It's tough when what you want doesn't always line up the way you pictured it. 

.sp4rkl3z.
by Bronze Member on May. 19, 2014 at 11:06 AM
That's exactly what I was thinking

Quoting iSMILEheCRIES: I have no clue how HSA works. Explain it to me. Because if you think about it, baby won't come til the middle/end of next year... Plenty of time to save in my opinion! Tell dh to suck it
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chicaespana2003
by Steph on May. 19, 2014 at 12:36 PM

Every paycheck that my hubby gets, a portion of his salary is put into the HSA, and his employer matches the amount until some set amount (say $1,000). Only way to put money into HSA is through dh's pay check, and that money is put in pre-tax.

We can use the money in the HSA to reimburse ourselves for any medical we pay out of pocket.

If we don't have enough $$ in the HSA to pay ourselves back, we have up to 3 yrs to reimburse ourselves (or so dh thinks).


Dh's "reasoning" consists of the following (or so I'm guessing), due to the fact that our HSA egg of 9k is gone (thanks to dd's hospital stay and tests they did), we will have nothing, and we have an insurance plan where we need to pay 12,700 out of pocket before insurance covers everything else. So we are "in the hole" about 2k (at this point) that we have to pay with what little funds we have around (none). Going to a lower insurance plan will cost more than the current plan we have, but we don't have the extra 12,700 laying around. Dh looks at everything from a financial standpoint, and right now- we wouldn't be able to survive 2 yrs of high medical expenses. (Despite the fact that we did it once before, and it was rough, and we managed a year and a half of nothing huge for medical until dd got sick- sigh.)

We will never be financially ready for another baby, but at this point, I DON'T CARE. I would like to have a baby around the time dd is 4 yrs and 3 months (okay I'll give a few months).

Quoting iSMILEheCRIES: I have no clue how HSA works. Explain it to me. Because if you think about it, baby won't come til the middle/end of next year... Plenty of time to save in my opinion! Tell dh to suck it


chicaespana2003
by Steph on May. 19, 2014 at 12:37 PM
1 mom liked this

I'll try to have dh suck it... or I'll just "make it happen" when fall comes around.

Quoting .sp4rkl3z.: That's exactly what I was thinking
Quoting iSMILEheCRIES: I have no clue how HSA works. Explain it to me. Because if you think about it, baby won't come til the middle/end of next year... Plenty of time to save in my opinion! Tell dh to suck it


KarenM42
by Bronze Member on May. 19, 2014 at 6:12 PM
Kudos to your husband for being financially responsible. On the other hand, someone once told me, "if you wait to have a baby until you are financially ready, you will NEVER have a baby." Like you said, you worked it out before. You can make it work again. I'd go for it, but that's just my opinion.
cali_angel_girl
by Amy on May. 19, 2014 at 8:33 PM

((hugs)) i'm sorry hun.  I would just give him some time and then maybe bring it up with him again.

Dannimarie418
by Danielle on May. 19, 2014 at 9:45 PM
Sorry Hun! I'd just go for it ! :) GL!
Angela4boys
by Angela on May. 20, 2014 at 7:38 AM
2 moms liked this
I think this planning is getting over thought. If you're looking for the perfect scenario to have a baby...it will never happen. Something always comes up. The water heater leaks, the car needs a new transmission, you need a root canal.....there will never be a good time.

Just do it (I know I don't have to convince you), it will always work out just fine.
chicaespana2003
by Steph on May. 20, 2014 at 12:47 PM

Dh always has the financial aspect of things in mind. He is an accountant, and he often wishes we could go back in time and do things differently (wedding, honeymoon, dd... etc)

Quoting KarenM42: Kudos to your husband for being financially responsible. On the other hand, someone once told me, "if you wait to have a baby until you are financially ready, you will NEVER have a baby." Like you said, you worked it out before. You can make it work again. I'd go for it, but that's just my opinion.


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