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So many feelings and thoughts going through my mind :(

Posted by on Jul. 23, 2014 at 3:32 PM
  • 8 Replies

Hi Everyone,

       I had been TTC for 2yrs, and finally on June 10, 2014 I found out I was PREGNANT!! You can only imagine the joy i felt when I saw my home pregnancy test. I had to of taken 8 in the next 2 day lol 2yrs of tryng, hoping and praying had finally paid of (or so I thought). On Saturday June 14 (1 day before Father's day) I began feeling a sharp pain on my lower left side of my stomach, then my right, suddenly rectal pressure, and a couple mins later I began bleeding with cramps and pains like i was about to go into labor! My husband rushed me to the hospital. There they took blood to check my hcg levels (keep in ming 2days prior i had one done at the docs and it was 700) and then I had an ultrasound done as well. Doc sais my hcg levels had doubled to 1400, which is awesome, but they still couldn't see a fetus. Which concerned me, but they said it was normal considering how early in the pregnancy this was. So they sent me home and said to take it easy that it was too soon to tell if this was a MC, EP or just normal pain and bleeding. From that day till July 3rd i had gone back to the ER and my general doctor about 3x's each. The ER would send me back home sayin my hcg levels aren't doubling just rising but still no fetus on an ultrasound and my Dr was trying to get me seen by an OBGYN which for some reason none of them wanted to see me due to how early in the pregnancy I was. Finally June 30th one agreed to see me but untill July 15th. July 3rd i had gone Back to the ER with what i have to say was the worst pain i have ever experience, and i gave birth on no drugs before and have had 2 surgery's in the past with no pain meds right after due to allergic reactions so I consider myself to be a tought cookie with pain. They pretty much ignored me in the ER. They let so many other ppl go ahead of me who looked fine to me. When i was twisting and turning in my wheelchair. Couldnt stand or walk. Finally after 2 hours, which the stand said it was only a 30min wait, they take me in he back. I had again blood work done. On the 30th of june my hcg levels were at 5400 and on the 3rd they were 4800 so i knew this is it i'm deft loosing my baby........Sure enough what i had dreaded. They wanted to give me a vaginal ultra sound. I was crying and screaming that I couldn't no possibly go through that. I was in so much pain. And considering i get hives with meds i had to lay back and take all that pain. About an hour later the ER Dr comes in to tell me thety again couldn't see anything and i should go home and let this pass!! My husband refused to let them realese me considering the amount of pain i was in. So after a little arguing between them the Dr called the on call OBGYN who came in took one look at me and saw my chart and said to the ER Dr "what is she still doing here? Send her up to surgery before its too late!" Surely enough my left tube had ruptured causing me to obiously loose my baby and my tube. I was so mad when I woke up to hear that I had lost both. I understand there was nothing to have done about my fetus being in my tube. But i feel if the ER Dr's weren't so STUPID they could of saved my tube. Now i'm just healing and coping. But can't help to feel so emotional half the time. 2yrs of trying for it all to have ended this way. Now I'm scared to keep trying. I'm scared this will happen again. But deep down I still do want to try. I really want to have a baby but I'm also very scared. And also if with 2 tubes it took 2 years what are the odds I can get pregnant anytime soon? I don't know if i want to go through the waiting and hoping game no more. Sooooo confused, lost and sad. Don't know what to think.

                                                                                                   P.S sorry for the long post

 

by on Jul. 23, 2014 at 3:32 PM
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Replies (1-8):
akrogers13
by Alli on Jul. 23, 2014 at 4:14 PM
1 mom liked this
I am so sorry for your loss! It's pretty traumatic to begin with and then having to lose a tube too makes it so much worse! Every feeling you have right now is valid! It's not fair! And no woman should ever have to go thru this! I'm so sorry!
iSMILEheCRIES
by Platinum Member on Jul. 23, 2014 at 7:55 PM
1 mom liked this
Hugs I am sorry for your loss and that you lost your tube. Yes you got a bad deal at the ER. I can tell you I have seen ladies come thru this group and have healthy babies with only one tube. I have also seen women's bodies "kick into gear" after a pregnancy/loss. Good luck and hugs again
blessedmommie07
by Desiree-admin on Jul. 23, 2014 at 9:34 PM
1 mom liked this

I'm so sorry for your loss. And the treatment the ER doctor gave you was appalling! Don't give up hope. Have you been seen by a specialist since it took you two years to concieve? *hugs*

CDW75
by Candi on Jul. 23, 2014 at 10:28 PM
1 mom liked this
I'm so sorry for your loss! I hate that you were basically blew off by the docs.

I experienced that treatment from my old RE & if I had not had an ovarian cyst rupture & an ER doc that was awesome I might have also lost my tube. Thank God the ER doc was better than my old RE! We know our bodies & the docs need to listen to us.
nmartin15
by Bronze Member on Jul. 23, 2014 at 11:50 PM
1 mom liked this

so very sorry for your loss and how terrible the dr treated you. its just ridiculous. Have you ever seen a specialist? I would recommmend doing so. I have heard of women who successfully give birth after losses and with one tube. Do not give up hope. We are here anytime you need to vent or just chat.

Angela4boys
by on Jul. 24, 2014 at 7:55 AM
1 mom liked this
(((Hugs))) I'm so sorry for your loss :(. Drs really make me so angry. You can sit in in the Dr hater corner with me.
Xandy88
by on Jul. 24, 2014 at 11:12 AM
1 mom liked this

Thank you every one for your kind words. I know some of you suggested seeing a specialist about why i had a hard time TTC. I did. The issue is I have a Pituitary Tumor. Its a hormone secreting tumor in my pituitary gland under the the brain. It makes my hormones pretty much out of whack so having a normal period for me is uncommon. I could go 6months with no period at times. Before i had this pregnancy i hadn't had my period in over 2month. But my husband and I decided last night to give it one more time and if we get a positive we will seek a OBGYN ASAP!! Hopefully everything comes out ok the second time around.

cali_angel_girl
by Amy on Jul. 24, 2014 at 4:13 PM
1 mom liked this

((hugs)) I am so sorry for your loss and everything else that you went through.  

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