Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

OT. Who taught you

Posted by on Aug. 13, 2014 at 10:54 AM
  • 14 Replies
Ok, I'm 30 (shhhh let's just keep that a secret) but remember my high school years pretty well. But I don't remember how I learned about "life". I don't remember who explained taxes (like what is taken from a pay check), how the government makes money, how a business works as far as why a hamburger costs so much and how a business pays for supplies and employees. I had a class (a child care class working in the school daycare) where y teacher taught us how to fill out an application and gave a quick lesson on interviews and it stuck with me for years. Reason I ask is because my teen step kids may be living with me forever! My stepdaughter is finally filling out job applications and constantly is asking ridiculous questions. Yesterday it was "who is my emergency contact" and then "do I write dad or his name" followed by asking her dad if she was a us citizen and how she was supposed to prove it. The list goes on and on. I took her for a job interview. The night before I told her she might want to wear her hair in a bun so the green ends didn't show a much. The next day she is wearing a green fitted t-shirt, hoochie shorts so short her pockets stick out and her hair in a messy pony tail. I made her change into pants but still... What do I do? Did we miss a window somewhere of teaching this? Who taught you? Because I know my mom didn't teach me.
by on Aug. 13, 2014 at 10:54 AM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
amy_dawn
by on Aug. 13, 2014 at 11:05 AM
Sounds like she's lucky to have you!

I think I picked up little things about life from my parents, but they never explicitly taught me. But my rebellious stages were never very loud or open, so I was always the goody two shoes to everyone around me...and, I found out later, compared to everyone around me.

You're not too late with her. But you just have to be patient. She's gotten used to the way she does things and she'll have to learn some lessons. You will be doing a great job by trying to teach her, giving her advice when she is in need, and understanding that she's likely not going to listen to you partially because of her age/personality/not being taught prior to now (this goes into respect for authority, respect for elders, responsibility, et cetera , partially because of the family situation that has led up to her current one, and possibly partially because you are her step-mother. You are a great person for taking this on and trying to do things the right way.
Angela4boys
by on Aug. 13, 2014 at 11:19 AM
Nobody "taught me" any of that. I think it's things you learn through living and observation. She may have not had much of an example before joining your family.

I remember a friend telling me, regarding some children with questional behavior, "you have to assume they have never been told". It made a lot of sense...and that's how I would approach this. I know she hasn't had the best guidance coming up. She's lucky to be in your family now.
blessedmommie07
by Desiree-admin on Aug. 13, 2014 at 9:45 PM

Honestly it was kind of common sense to me. It's really odd that she has to ask if she is a US citizen..... And no you didn't miss the opportunity to teach her. But at this sage it is her choice to listen and whether she understands that it doesn't matter if your applying at a doctor's office or a burger joint they want you to come in looking professional in nice pants (no jeans!), a nice shirt and your hair up in a orderly way. And yes even if it is wrong she will be judged on how she dresses, how much make up she wears, if she has any visible piercings, tattoos even unnatural hair color. Maybe have her research online about what employers look for in job applicants and in interviews and make her write an essay lol. Actually now that I like about it in my senior year we had to do a huge portfolio with a bunch of things in it; job applications, make a professional resume, volunteering, recommendation letters, etc. it was required in order to graduate to have a senior portfolio. 

akrogers13
by Alli on Aug. 14, 2014 at 12:37 AM
my mom turned in my resume when I was 16 to work at Safeway where she was working in produce lol... she told me what I needed to wear for the interview (I was pretty much already hired before the interview because of my connection but it was an awesome learning experience.. I was in tae kwon do (yes I'm a black belt) and they do interview type things in order to move up.. that started when I was 7.. and my senior year we did fake resumes and had to do a lot of presentations with q&a at the end so that also contributed....

But in all honesty, it doesn't stick till u get the experience and luckily she has you to help guide her.... and at least she's asking questions, she'll quickly learn as long add she doesn't just throw in the towel!!
iSMILEheCRIES
by Platinum Member on Aug. 14, 2014 at 8:12 AM
You know, after hearing about these senior portfolios I think I made one too. She said she learned to do a resume last year but I just don't see how she doesn't know some of this.
iSMILEheCRIES
by Platinum Member on Aug. 14, 2014 at 8:13 AM
We also asked how long to heat soup because the can didn't say. Smh....

Quoting blessedmommie07:

Honestly it was kind of common sense to me. It's really odd that she has to ask if she is a US citizen..... And no you didn't miss the opportunity to teach her. But at this sage it is her choice to listen and whether she understands that it doesn't matter if your applying at a doctor's office or a burger joint they want you to come in looking professional in nice pants (no jeans!), a nice shirt and your hair up in a orderly way. And yes even if it is wrong she will be judged on how she dresses, how much make up she wears, if she has any visible piercings, tattoos even unnatural hair color. Maybe have her research online about what employers look for in job applicants and in interviews and make her write an essay lol. Actually now that I like about it in my senior year we had to do a huge portfolio with a bunch of things in it; job applications, make a professional resume, volunteering, recommendation letters, etc. it was required in order to graduate to have a senior portfolio. 

iSMILEheCRIES
by Platinum Member on Aug. 14, 2014 at 8:16 AM
Yeah I guess when your mom is a professional ho the job applications and suitable dress attire are quite different. So in theory, if you learn from your parents then she was classy, dressed up real nice

Quoting Angela4boys: Nobody "taught me" any of that. I think it's things you learn through living and observation. She may have not had much of an example before joining your family.

I remember a friend telling me, regarding some children with questional behavior, "you have to assume they have never been told". It made a lot of sense...and that's how I would approach this. I know she hasn't had the best guidance coming up. She's lucky to be in your family now.
blessedmommie07
by Desiree-admin on Aug. 14, 2014 at 9:00 AM

 WOW!  If the high school has Home Ecomics they differently NEED it!

Quoting iSMILEheCRIES: We also asked how long to heat soup because the can didn't say. Smh....
Quoting blessedmommie07:

Honestly it was kind of common sense to me. It's really odd that she has to ask if she is a US citizen..... And no you didn't miss the opportunity to teach her. But at this sage it is her choice to listen and whether she understands that it doesn't matter if your applying at a doctor's office or a burger joint they want you to come in looking professional in nice pants (no jeans!), a nice shirt and your hair up in a orderly way. And yes even if it is wrong she will be judged on how she dresses, how much make up she wears, if she has any visible piercings, tattoos even unnatural hair color. Maybe have her research online about what employers look for in job applicants and in interviews and make her write an essay lol. Actually now that I like about it in my senior year we had to do a huge portfolio with a bunch of things in it; job applications, make a professional resume, volunteering, recommendation letters, etc. it was required in order to graduate to have a senior portfolio. 

 

AvisMommy11
by on Aug. 14, 2014 at 4:38 PM

 I taught myself. My mom delivers mail and my dad is a freelance HVAC tech. They made enough to pay the bills, but were not very responsible. I remember many times having friends over and the electricity would go out because my mom forgot to pay it. We moved a lot.

I didn't want that for my family, and I learned through trial and error. I got some experience in high school working at JCPenney and researched how to write a resumes and give good interviews. 

She is lucky to have you to show her how to do things, so she doesn't have to spend these years trying to figure it out by herself when she walks into an interview in short shorts and gets sent home!

echupko
by on Aug. 16, 2014 at 7:00 AM
I taught myself. Glad she has you. Sounds like she needs lots of guidance.
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)