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feeling a little numb......ttc possible trigger

Posted by on Jan. 6, 2015 at 12:29 AM
  • 3 Replies

.... we started ttc this cycle... sort of! i didnt track anything and to be honest i can only give a time frame of when i may have ovulated. i should be due for my period between tomorrow and sunday. no signs or symptoms of af so i'm thinking she's due towards the end of the week.. i'm not sure if we even had good timing or not.. i cant even remember when we had sex! and on new years eve i broke down to hubby at midnight (thank goodness it was only the two of us at home lol) i told him it was because i was so relieved that 2014 was over and how hard it's been on me.. i dont think he realized i was still grieving (i'm a silent griever)... anyways.. i'm not sure if i even want to be pregnant again right now. i do because i want another baby and i know dh is super excited about having another little munchkin in the house. but i dont because we dont have any answers as to why we had three losses last year and i'm not sure i can handle a fourth.... AND we struggled with infertility ttc our son so i dont know if i'm emotionally stable enough to handle that if for some reason my body resorts back to it's original form of infertility... i took a pregnancy test today and i saw some sort of line but i'm pretty sure it's just an evap.. but even so, just thinking about a line i didnt have any emotion about it.... i'm numb...


sorry to rant, just had to get it off my chest!

by on Jan. 6, 2015 at 12:29 AM
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Replies (1-3):
Dannimarie418
by Danielle on Jan. 6, 2015 at 4:03 AM
:( I know the feeling! I cried when the ball dropped ! It had been a crazy year. Back to back losses in the beginning then infertility dr appts 3-4 times a month. Tests, procedures, bloodwork, ultrasounds, pills, shots, timed intercourse! Last year was hard. I'm so thankful for this pregnancy but in the back of my mind I'm so scared. The innocence of pregnancy is long gone for me. As beautiful of a thing that it is, it's so scary to me now. I know too much. I've experienced a lot.

I wish I could come hug you! :(
You know you can message me and vent away anytime!
akrogers13
by Alli on Jan. 6, 2015 at 11:52 AM

thanks hun! i wish i could give you a big hug too... i'm glad i found you, even if it was thru unfortunate circumstances! i'm SO happy for you and i'm praying that this pregnancy brings you a perfect little rainbow!!! last year was definitly the most dificult to get thru, but we are here, we made it out alive, and it's now a part of the past!!! :) ps you can message me anytime to vent as well ;) even if it's baby related! lol.

Quoting Dannimarie418: :( I know the feeling! I cried when the ball dropped ! It had been a crazy year. Back to back losses in the beginning then infertility dr appts 3-4 times a month. Tests, procedures, bloodwork, ultrasounds, pills, shots, timed intercourse! Last year was hard. I'm so thankful for this pregnancy but in the back of my mind I'm so scared. The innocence of pregnancy is long gone for me. As beautiful of a thing that it is, it's so scary to me now. I know too much. I've experienced a lot. I wish I could come hug you! :( You know you can message me and vent away anytime!


blessedmommie07
by Desiree-admin on Jan. 6, 2015 at 6:34 PM

 I hope you get a BFP soon!  It can happen in an instance.  I swear when we conceived our rainbow we had sex maybe once or twice that cycle.  That's good you were able to communicate with your hubby and he knows how you are feeling.  It is scary to be pregnant again after a loss.  But you definitely have this group to help :) 

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