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Does the worry ever go away?

Posted by on Oct. 26, 2015 at 11:55 AM
  • 4 Replies

We have 2 kids. Mscarried  1 time at 6 weeks. Then got pregnant again and carried to term. I was nervous of miscarriage. So was husband. Now we are pregnant again and husband says he still cant get excited cause he is still nervous of miscarriage. Is this normal? When does it ever go away? I thought after another he would calm down. Unless he is making up an excuse?

by on Oct. 26, 2015 at 11:55 AM
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Replies (1-4):
lovemylife_15
by Member on Oct. 26, 2015 at 12:22 PM
Once that kind of fear is in someone its really hard to shake because in their mind theirs still that chance. Example, we had a miscarriage in September and we plan to try again soon and DH said if I miscarry again we are going to wait. He said we'd wait about a year to save up to see a specialist to get everything checked out,his sperm included because he couldn't stand watching me go through this over and over.
diane2218
by Member on Nov. 1, 2015 at 3:09 PM

We just recently miscarried at 6 weeks, and while we are open to trying again soon (or rather not preventing and just seeing what happens) that fear is already in both myself and my husband, but just in different ways.  My fear is more the unknown and that any potential causes won't be explored until this happens 3 times, which I don't think we can endure.  My husband is most concerned about me.  Our relationship has actually become stronger going through this together, but the concern is there. 

Focus on the healthy pregnancy you had after the first miscarriage.  That shows that it is possible and your body is healthy.  Encourage your husband to do the same.  Have a simple way of celebrating each week that will relieve a bit more anxiety.  While it's important to not be naive and assume everything is always perfect, try to enjoy it a bit.

Last, I read on another posting that a nurse told a woman who recently miscarried to enjoy her new pregnancy for one hour a day.  She had to get excited, be giddy, celebrate - for that hour, no worry could cross her mind. I think that is a nice, concrete way to balance feelings.  Best of luck!

akrogers13
by Alli on Nov. 2, 2015 at 8:43 PM

i dont know about a second pregnancy after a loss... but i can imagine the emotions would still come flooding back. a loss kind of sucks the fun out of pregnancy and sprinkles all sorts of anxiety on it instead. how far along are you? when did the worry go away with your last little one?

karyn9902
by Member on Nov. 3, 2015 at 10:27 AM
The worry didn't go away til she was born. I am now 16 weeks.

Quoting akrogers13:

i dont know about a second pregnancy after a loss... but i can imagine the emotions would still come flooding back. a loss kind of sucks the fun out of pregnancy and sprinkles all sorts of anxiety on it instead. how far along are you? when did the worry go away with your last little one?

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