Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Lost our LO at week 8 and feeling very alone

Posted by on Nov. 28, 2016 at 7:44 PM
  • 5 Replies

Hello everyone,

Obviously not the group I thought I would be joining, but here I am. This was our first time trying for a baby and at my 7 week ultrasound there was no heartbeat. I went back a week later just to make sure and they confirmed that it had obviously stopped developing =( 

I think the hardest thing is I'd been so excited to tell my family at the holiday. This would have been the first grandchild for both sides. To make matters worse, I actually started miscarrying on Thanksgiving. So far only that one half an hour of movement and then light spotting so I have to go in for another check tomorrow and I might need a D&C. For anyone that has been through that surgery, any tips? Is it a long recovery? I'm hoping it starts naturally or I can take the medication, but my OB thinks surgery might be necessary since it's been so long since I first started. 

I'm sure everyone says this, but it's just hard because I didn't think this would happen. I'm very healthy and I guess I didn't realize how common MC actually is. I didn't tell anyone obviously so it was rough during the holiday trying not to think about it. The doctor says we need to wait at least a month and then we can start trying again. But I know this will just cause anxiety once (hopefully) we do conceive again. 

Not quite sure what I'm looking for here, just mainly support from other women that have been through this. Thanks for reading! 

by on Nov. 28, 2016 at 7:44 PM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-5):
by Steph on Nov. 29, 2016 at 8:56 AM

I had a missed MC. My baby measured ~8 wks, and when the dr's were looking for the pregnancy, they were looking for an 11+ wk baby (based on LMC- side note, I was nursing my then 8 mo old, so cycles were wonky anyway). I did not know the pregnancy existed until all in one day I discovered the pregnancy, I was bleeding, and the baby wasn't alive.

Sometimes it takes our bodies a little while to realize that we have lost our little one- for me about 3 weeks. The dr I saw was pushing me to have a D&C, but I wanted to pass it naturally. He gave me until after the weekend and if I hadn't passed it then he wanted me to go for the D&C. I thankfully passed the baby the next day, but I still had the follow up appointment to make sure I didn't have anything lingering.

If you wish to do this naturally, discuss this with your dr, and they may start tossing out words like infection, but I'm sure that you would know if something were "wonky" down there. Pay attention for any foul smelling discharge and fever symptoms- These symptoms would indicate an infection and that medical intervention is required. If you are not experiencing any of these- you should be fine to go natural.

You are more than welcome to try the pills, but I have no experience with them and some other mom's have had mixed experiences with them.

Dr's do not know everything. Some women don't listen to their dr's and once the bleeding stops they resume trying. If medical intervention is required, they may say you need to wait until after your next cycle- but again, I don't know about this.

When you do have that positive once again, just take it day by day. Obviously contact your dr right away to get betas done, and to get ahead of the game- talk with your dr now so that you have a game plan. So when you get the positive, you get betas done and have your progesterone levels checked (never hurts to be sure that they are where they need to be). You may have to go back after 2 or more days (depending when you get the positive) to get an idea of how far along and to be sure numbers are going up properly.

Have a game plan set before you go in this time around. Write things down so that you know what you would like to do, and if your dr is on board with it, or if he has any suggestions.

Continue to take your prenatal's, and prepare your body as best as you can for a baby. We are here- just put a warning in the title if you think that anything might cause a trigger. We want to support you through your journey, and even when you get that positive in the future, we can help you through until you are at ease.

My losses have been 4 years ago, so I'm not likely to be triggered as much, but my heart does go out. I am at peace for now- and with my rainbow.

I hope that we can help you.

by Member on Nov. 30, 2016 at 10:24 AM
That was a lovely and eloquent reply, pp.

I also lost my LO at week 8, but didn't start miscarrying until week 12. This means that my baby was dying on my birthday. It was rough, but I had my DD and DH to help me through it.

As far as a d&c, I had mine because I was passing huge clots and suffering from the blood loss. It was a quick surgical procedure that nobody described for me and was very easy to recover from. Light bleeding for the week after. It took me about five weeks to cycle again, and now should be my fertile time, so we are trying again.

As far as your next pregnancy, when you are ready, think about this: we decided to tell our friends and family after I got my BFP because if I needed the love and support in case of a loss, they already knew and could help in any way they could. I was glad I did. My in-laws stopped telling f&f after the fourth loss,(MIL had 15 pregnancies with only 2 children surviving). This is all up to you.

Hugs, and know you are NOT alone.
by on Nov. 30, 2016 at 9:20 PM

I'm so very sorry :(.  I came on her today, because I also started miscarrying today.  It's one of the saddest, lonliest experiences.  I am just so very, very sorry for your loss.  

by Bronze Member on Dec. 1, 2016 at 9:54 PM

I had 2 losses, one ectopic and one stillbirth. I don't know about d&c as the ectopic passed on his own and my daughter required I go into labor,

either way, please know you are not alone, just post a note here when you feel down.

by New Member on Dec. 4, 2016 at 7:23 PM
I honestly say do not get the D&C. Let me explain first D&C was done 3 years ago on the 6th of December. Since then i cannot carry babies. I lost one at 20 weeks and one at almost 13 weeks. Now, after my last loss (in September) i bled out...because my uterus sucks I'm having a surgery in just over a week so i cannot have any more.
Now...i.know this isn't the case for everyone...i just feel that first d&c did something 🙁
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)