Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

19 years old and feeling really depressed after a miscarriage

Posted by on Jul. 9, 2017 at 10:17 PM
  • 6 Replies

Hi everyone. I found out I was pregnant in March, and I had no intentions of keeping the baby. I used contraception and just got unlucky. But after my boyfriend (who I've been with for 4 years) and I went to my OBGYN appointment and heard the heartbeat, we had a change of heart and decided to keep our baby. I was still really nervous about the whole situation because I'm completely financially independent and have no familial support, but we were determined to make it work and start a family.

I miscarried at around 12 weeks, which was around the time I started telling people since we were supposed to be safe by then. It's been 7 weeks since then and every day is worse than before and I don't know how to break out of this rut. There are times when I feel like maybe this was for the best because I'm so young and I have the rest of my life ahead of me to have a family with my boyfriend, but I feel so horrible for thinking that. I was so unhappy and nervous about my pregnancy and then right when I began getting excited about being a mother, I lost the baby. It almost feels like karma. 

If anyone has suggestions about what I should do or how I can move past this, I'd really appreciate it. Thank you.

by on Jul. 9, 2017 at 10:17 PM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-6):
NearSeattleMom
by on Jul. 10, 2017 at 3:59 PM

hugs

I'm sorry you experienced this loss.

Hopefully, you'll feel a little better as each day passes. 

Hang in there!

Quoting delaniejohnson:

Hi everyone. I found out I was pregnant in March, and I had no intentions of keeping the baby. I used contraception and just got unlucky. But after my boyfriend (who I've been with for 4 years) and I went to my OBGYN appointment and heard the heartbeat, we had a change of heart and decided to keep our baby. I was still really nervous about the whole situation because I'm completely financially independent and have no familial support, but we were determined to make it work and start a family.

I miscarried at around 12 weeks, which was around the time I started telling people since we were supposed to be safe by then. It's been 7 weeks since then and every day is worse than before and I don't know how to break out of this rut. There are times when I feel like maybe this was for the best because I'm so young and I have the rest of my life ahead of me to have a family with my boyfriend, but I feel so horrible for thinking that. I was so unhappy and nervous about my pregnancy and then right when I began getting excited about being a mother, I lost the baby. It almost feels like karma. 

If anyone has suggestions about what I should do or how I can move past this, I'd really appreciate it. Thank you.


Stevensmomma
by on Jul. 10, 2017 at 4:01 PM
Therapy will help
ashtie
by Ashten on Jul. 11, 2017 at 11:16 AM
Everyday gets a little better love, greif is a strange thing and takes as long as it takes. Hugs and im so sorry for the loss of yoyr baby.
girljoe
by on Jul. 11, 2017 at 8:55 PM

I offer sincere condolances for your loss.  All those feelings you are wrestling with are normal and part of the grieving process so don't feel horrible about any of them.  In addition, your body is going through changes.  

I suggest you start by seeing your OBGYN or your regular doctor.  The depression you are fighting could be a combination of grief and hormonal changes. Your doctor may temporarily prescribe some medication to help you adjust.

I also know of some resources that you might find helpful. This article talks about what you describe and there are some additional links at the bottom of the page.  Check out griefshare.org and/or compassionatefriends.org.  Grief share is a wonderful program that helps people mourning the loss of a loved one.  There are lots of resources on their website, there is a book and some churches host Grief Share support groups. Compassionate Friends is a similar organization for people who have lost a child. They are amazingly empathetic and helpful people.  

Again, I'm sorry for your loss and I pray for comfort for you and your boyfriend.

MichelleLZ
by Member on Jul. 13, 2017 at 11:31 PM
I'm truly sorry. It's not karma. Unfortunately it just happens sometimes and it is a tragedy. Nobody "deserves " it is what I'm saying. You are grieving the loss of your child. It will take time. Get some counseling. It will help. Join a support group. It doesn't matter that you weren't excited at first, you loved and lost that child. It does get better with time and help. Hang in there.
girljoe
by on Jul. 21, 2017 at 7:29 PM

It's been a while since your original post.  How are you? 

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)