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My story

Posted by on Jun. 20, 2007 at 5:44 PM
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My anembryonic pregnancy occurred in 2006. I took a pregnancy test on May 6th after missing my mid-April period. It came out positive right away, and I showed my husband when he got home. We weren't planning on having any more children, but accepted the fact that our second was on the way. It didn't make sense that I was pregnant though, we stayed at my parents' house for a month while waiting for our new apartment to be ready, and used condoms the few times we managed to have sex there, and then we moved early in April. I have always tracked my periods, and knew when I was ovulating, so I knew when to use a condom and when I didn't need one.

So in May I was hit with morning sickness all the time, something I hadn't experienced with my daughter. I decided that I wanted a midwife this time, my doctor went on vacation the week my daughter was born and I didn't like that experience, so I liked the idea that I'd meet all the midwives, and I was for sure going to have one of them there. I didn't have my first appointment until June 19th. I really wanted to get an ultrasound, and was disappointed when she said that they didn't usually do one that early. So we got things started, I got measured and poked and all that fun stuff. Then she went to check the heart beat, and couldn't find one, so she said we should take an ultrasound to get a better reading. I was totally excited. So she gelled me up, and started looking around, measured my uterus at about 9-10 weeks (and thought it was strange, we had dated my conception at 11 weeks prior). Then she starts moving the wand all over, and looked very confused. She said "Well, your uterus is close to the right size, and I found the embryonic sac, but I'm having a really hard time finding the baby." It was obvious on the ultrasound that there was this big glaring empty space. So she asked if it was okay to do a vaginal ultrasound, and still couldn't see anything that way. She had me schedule an ultrasound with a radiologist because she said the u/s machines they had in the office weren't as clear and she wasn't as skilled, so she wanted a second opinion that there wasn't a baby. That was about the most she explained anything to me.

So I went home and I scoured the internet. I knew what I saw, and didn't need a radiologist to tell me. That was when I found all the information about anembryonic pregnancies. Found that they are very common. I absorbed pages and pages of information, even found a few ultrasound images that looked exactly like mine. Then I found a page that said that anembryonic pregnancies usually miscarry by the 12th week if they even make it that far. And I was getting close to that time.

I scheduled the radiologist appointment, with the hopes that they would have more information for me. First I had it for June 27th, but my husband worked that day, so I rescheduled it for the 29th. The morning of my appointment I started spotting, so I called my midwives' office and let them know, and said I was about to head off to my appointment. I go in, and the woman asks if it's alright that she has a student in with her. I told her that's fine, and told her I was spotting. She starts with the ultrasound, and does not address me the whole time. She only talks to the student in mostly medical speak (thank God my mom is a nurse and I had just done all that research) "Now I'm looking for fetal pole. I don't seen any. Now I'm looking for any possible tumors or cysts" (I was thinking, tumors!! WTH!!) "I don't see any" Then she finally turns to me and asks to do a vaginal u/s, and still doesn't find anything. So THEN she asks if she can call in the head radiologist. Sure why not. So he comes in, probes around for a couple seconds, says things like "No fetal pole... no tumors... Yep, looks like it's not a viable pregnancy" and walks out of the room. Then they tell me I can get dressed, and they'll fax over the info to my midwives. I could not believe that was all they said to me. Had I not done all my research and found out what was going on myself, I would have been a mess when some guy said that to me.

So I called back the office to tell them that it was a pretty crappy experience, but what they found, and talked more about my pending miscarriage. They gave me the option of letting it continue naturally, or coming in and having a d&c. I opted to let it progress on it's own, at that point it just seemed like a period. They gave me a list of what to watch out for, and said if I was soaking pads too fast to come in. The 29th and 30th were fine, then the 31st started to get heavy. I had to go to the store and buy extra huge pads, and was leaking like crazy, so I had my husband take me home. His friend was in town and had planned to stay at our house, and I was like, fine, but you have to let him know what's going on. After a while I just had to sit in the bathroom, first on the toilet, then I got in the shower to try to relax, and I ended up laying in the tub with the shower going. The water began to run cold, so I had to turn it off, and I was starting to black out, so I called for my husband, and he practically passed out at the sight of me. At 1 am, now July 1st, I told him to call 911 and get me an ambulance, and I practically had to talk him through the whole call. When he said they were on their way, I thought, crap, I'm naked, I need to be wearing something when these guys get here. So I managed to pull myself back on the toilet, and grabbed my shirt, and had my husband get me some pj pants. When they got there, I put on a new pad, and went and sat in the hallway. They asked me all the questions, and got me to walk out in front where the put me on a stretcher and got me in the ambulance. My husband, his friend, and our almost 2 year old followed. They put me on a saline line, and my temperature dropped horribly, I had to ask for more blankets, and this was early July.

I told my husband to call my mom, I hadn't told anyone I was pregnant yet because I wanted to go to the doctor first and figure out how far along I was and stuff, and that wasn't how things had happened. So he's trying to explain to her what happened, and she freaked out and though I had a tubal pregnancy that had ruptured, so she rushed to the hospital and I explained to her what happened.

They hooked me up to the heart rate monitor, and every once in a while it would start going off like crazy because my blood pressure dropped so bad. They had to change my sheets and the pads under me quite a few times. Being that it was 2 am on a Saturday, they had to try to get ahold of the on call ob/gyn, and were actually going to transport me to a different hospital, but the guy agreed to just come down (after they had already transfered me to another stretcher.) I told everyone to go home and get rest, and it was actually the first night my daughter spent without me. I managed to get a few minutes of rest in while waiting for that doctor to get there, and finally around 6am the ob/gyn comes in with his scruffy beard and checks me, says he should do a d&c, they wheeled me in, introduced me to all the nurses and staff, and put me under. I fell asleep in less than two seconds, I was so exhausted.

I woke up in a different room with two people I hadn't met watching over me. At least they were nice. They said everything went really smoothly, and took me to my hospital room, where I slept some more between checks until they brought me something to eat. I called my husband and told him when they said I could be released, and when they got there my daughter climbed into the bed with me. Thankfully I remembered to have him bring me something to wear.

I decided to have my follow up appointment at my midwives office, not with the creepy doctor. And I decided to get a copper IUD in the same visit. I was lucky, I didn't have any pain after my d&c because I had passed most of it on my own before hand.

I kinda pushed it all aside emotionally, I reasoned with myself that there was never a baby, so I had nothing to grieve over. Things were okay until my cousin had her daughter in December, and my friend had her son the same month. I was due late December, early January. Then it finally hit me again, that I would have had a child then too.

So that's my story. I probably left a ton out, it was a year ago and it's hard to remember all the details. Feel free to make posts about your own experiences, and ask questions and get answers. I feel that this is a totally overlooked situation, just tossed in with all the other reasons for miscarriages, and women need to learn what's really going on.
by on Jun. 20, 2007 at 5:44 PM
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Replies (1-7):
iracetobeatguys
by New Member on Aug. 23, 2007 at 2:14 AM
"No fetal pole... no tumors... Yep, looks like it's not a viable pregnancy" and walks out of the room. Then they tell me I can get dressed, and they'll fax over the info to my midwives. I could not believe that was all they said to me. Had I not done all my research and found out what was going on myself, I would have been a mess when some guy said that to me.



That's EXACTLY what they told me...like to a T. (except that I didn't have a midwife)
Jaqui
by on Aug. 28, 2007 at 12:21 PM
Pretty much the same as mine too, although before they said that, the nurse asked if I was passing any fetal tissue yet. This is before I even knew the ultrasound results......I was like  "uuhhh no wouldn't that hurt the baby ?"   Then some ding bat 19 year old "nurse in training" said " ha-ha maybe if there was a baby in there to hurt, there's nothing even in there, just a mess of cells.....didn't the doctor tell you that yet?" 
  I'm sure she got a swift talkin to, but that statement totally summed up my entire experience. I got no sympathy from anybody because "it's not like there was a real baby in there"
 The miscarriage was horrible. I didn't miscarriage on my own. I really didn't want a d&c so I opted to just let my body do what it needs to do. But after 3 weeks of waiting (all the while with the knowledge that I was carrying a dead baby) I got a couple tablets of "Miso" to open my cervix. I took it at home. Let me point out here that I have 2 other kids at this time...ages 4 and 1. (this pregnancy was a total accident which added to the guilt of not being exactly happy about it at first) So I was trying to keep things as light and normal for them as I could. Luckily my husband took the day off  the day that I decided to do it. I took the meds  about noon on a Friday  not really knowing what to expect.  My scene was very similar to the first post on here. It looked like a scene from a slasher movie. I had a really hard time containing the blood. I was week and really light headed most of the time. I bled fast and furious for 3 days straight. I didn't even feel like I could comfortably go to the store at the rate I was bleeding. It was horrible. Emotionally and physically.  I was at 12 weeks.
 I often have dreams about this baby. I know in my brain that it wasen't really a baby, but my heart and  subconscious see it as a baby girl I named Ava. Maybe I just need to tell myself because it makes it easier to grieve a baby with a name than a dead mess of cells.  Either way, thats what has worked for me.

Thanks for letting me vent. It's been a long time since I've even talked about it. She would've been 3 in November.



 


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melloxyellow
by Member on Sep. 8, 2007 at 1:06 PM
the doctor in the ER was very nice to me and explained everything and had sympathy. and the nurse had even more sympathy for me by telling me a lot of pregnancies experience some bleeding early on and maybe my dates were wrong (even though i knew they werent) and she checked everything over for me again to make sure i was in good shape to go home (i did not have a d&c) and they did everything they could to try and make me feel better. i was very grateful for that.
ElsaYvette
by New Member on Sep. 27, 2007 at 3:35 AM
i am pregnant with my third child and went to see my dr for the first time last friday and she said that it looked like whatever had started growing stopped. they took blood then and again this monday and she said that my numbers dropped from 13,000 and some to 9,000 and some and that could only mean that i would miscarry. she said that it was up to me whether i wanted to wait it out or do a d&c. i had another ultra sound done and was told that they could not see a heart rate. i fell no cramping what so ever. but they figure that my baby stopped at 6 1/2 weeks. does any one have some help they can give me. i don't wish to go through with the d&c but my husband doesn't want me to continue on with the pregnancy because he doesn't want me to suffer if i as the dr is saying. when the ultra sound was done it did show a baby just not that big that why they just figure that the baby dies at 6 1/2 weeks whatever help you can offer is appreciated

Elsa

daralynn
by on Mar. 23, 2008 at 5:13 PM
Thankyou for your group and post. The same thing happened to me, I too had to find out all the info on my own. This experience has been heartbreaking ( D&C 1 wk ago today ) and it helps to know I am not alone. Thankyou. Dara
hannah_29
by New Member on Jul. 2, 2008 at 11:26 PM
i had the same thing happen to me as far as the pregnancy.i visited the doctors for 2 months the doc told me it was to early to hear the visit but i knew deep down something was wrong and when i said that i needed a second opinion she decided to send me to the hospital for an u/s they did both the  u/s and vaginal except i knew when i seen the sac and nothing was there and the doc and nurse talked as if i werent there they said i had a tear in the sac and i had some bleeding on the inside  then they looked at me and said we'll be back their supervising doc came in a said u lost there is no baby and said i had the  Anembryonic Pregnancy (he actually had to look it up)
he said well schedule u for a d&c he said to wait in the lobby, i sat in the lobby crying just to think something that should have been (my husbands 1st baby) wasn't going to be as i sat there thinking what did i do wrong, how could have i prevented this, a nurse and a doc walked up to me and said "mam could u go into another room and cry u are upseting our other patients" they walked me into this little room like a little mini office and said u can cry in here i couldn't believe my eyes or my heart here i just experienced something horrible and this is how they treat me i called my hubby and left
 i never forgot how that happened not only cause i didnt have a doctor who gave a dam but the  expereince i had after the loss . it still bothers me cause i wonder what it would have been but now me and my husband have 2 aboy  and a new baby girl along with my 2 older daughter and son and couldn't be happier.
Sharada
by New Member on Sep. 28, 2009 at 4:59 AM

I wish I would have had access to the internet when I went through mine.  I was 19 and had a 3 year old at home and my BF was a complete jerk the entire time.  The dr was not much help but he did say I needed to do a d&c and get it over with.  Had it been a viable baby I would have a 15 year old today, but I believe it all happened for a reason so I have tried to move on and I had 3 more pregnancies after thatn and the results were a healthy girl who is now 13 and I lost twins and then a healthy 9 year old boy along with my 18 year old son.  So I guess we need ot remember that we can ave another child that is fine after this.  but use caution with the d&c's cuz I have ALOT of scar tissue from my d&C and I had to have another when the twins passes inutero

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