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I JUST WANT TO GET AWAY FROM HERE!

Posted by on Jun. 13, 2010 at 5:39 PM
  • 7 Replies

HELLO LADIES MY NAME IS RAQUEL IM 40 YRS. OLD AND I'M AT DIFFICULT PLACE IN MY LIFE RIGHT NOW. I DONT WHATS WRONG WITH ME I FEEL LIKE I WANT TO RUN SO FAR AWAY AND I JUST WANT TO SCREAM. I GET ANGRY AT LITTLE THINGS. I'VE ALWAYS BEEN TOLD HOW STRONG I AM BUT I FEEL SO WEAK RIGHT NOW. I SEPARATED FROM MY HUSBAND LAST AUGUST AND GOT INTO A RELATIONSHIP WITH ANOTHER SHORTLY AFTER. AND IT'S BEEN A VERY UNHEALTHY RELATIONSHIP. LIKE I SAID I'M ANGRY ALL THE TIME I'VE EVEN HIT HIM. I'VE NEVER PUT MY HANDS ON ANYONE LIKE I HAVE WITH HIM. SINCE I'VE BEEN SEPARATED FROM MY HUSBAND I'VE LOST SO MUCH HE'S NOT PAYING ME MY ALAMONY SO NOW I HAVE TO MOVE TO NEW MEXICO WITH MY DAD MY KIDS DONT EVEN WANT TO BE AROUND ME PROBABLY BECAUSE ME AND MY BOYFRIEND FIGHT ALL THE TIME. NOW MY BOYFRIEND GOT CUSTODY OF HIS 6YR. OLD AND THAT ADDS TO MY STRESS I'VE ALREADY RAISED MY CHILDREN PRETTY MUCH NOW I FIND MYSELF GOING THROUGH BABYSITTERS AGAIN. I'VE TRIED TO  GET OUT OF THIS RELATIONSHIP BUT FEEL GUILTY.WHY DO I FEEL GUILTY? I CANT TAKE CARE OF THESE PEOPLE I FEEL LIKE I CANT EVEN TAKE CARE OF ME. I KNOW I NEED COUSELING AND ONCE I GET OUT TO NEW MEXICO I PLAN ON FINDING SOME HELP. THERE'S MORE THIS IS JUST ME IN A NUT SHELL. I DONT KNOW IF THIS IS THE RIGHT GROUP FOR ME.

by on Jun. 13, 2010 at 5:39 PM
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Replies (1-7):
lcat
by on Jun. 13, 2010 at 5:55 PM

First, I don't know what you want in a group.  This is a big mix of people with a variety of different problems.

Your first, statement you just want to run is not a good sign.  Running away doesn't sovle a thing, I know....I used to be the very best runner in the world.  I'd get upset at my boyfriend and just pack my things and run back to one of my children's places.  Instead of sitting down and talking it over.

You said you don't want to start over with a small child, have you discussed this with you BF?  Guilt is not a reason to stay with a person.  The only reason, you stay with a person is love.  Not necessity, not kindness, not gratude..nothing less than LOVE.

A new start at you Dad's is maybe something that will be good for you.  And yes, be sure to get some type of help when you get there and don't put it off.  It is not a normal feeling to want to run away from everything and everyone.

Have you ever thought you got into a relationship, too soon after you and your husband broke up?  Most of us hate to be alone and that I can understand, but we need that time to heal and to figure out who we are because we have been married.

Feeling angry all the time, is another reason you need to seek help.  Hitting another person is not the norm.

Best of luck to you on your move.

Linda

 

 



bluegreenrose_lcat_WAS.gif picture by lcat_1
Xantho
by on Jun. 13, 2010 at 5:57 PM

 Sweety I'm glad that you have accepted that you are in an unhealthy relationship, and also that you need help.

These are the first steps towards working out your problems.  I hope that we can also offer you some advice here.

jazi1105
by Ruby Member on Jun. 13, 2010 at 6:32 PM

I agree with Xantho. I think this group is for pretty much everyone...there is such a variety of things going on, and I know you'll be able to find someone who can relate to what you're going through! *hugs* I wish you all the best hun!!


 

soccerjunki
by on Jun. 13, 2010 at 7:18 PM

 I agree with the other ~girls~ lol..this is a group for anyone that needs someone. And don't we all??

I am sorry about the problems you are having. You are more than likely taking out your anger from your ending marriage on your bf. You were probably not ready to get into one to begin with, but like all of us, you didn't want to be alone. I personally think that if you are fighting with this man and hitting him, and can't seem to take care of yourself( the move to NM) I would say that you have some "issues" going on. Unresolved at that.,,and THIS group is a great place for anyone that needs a shoulder..a hand to hold..or an ear to listen..

Welcome to the group.....

on that note..maybe thinking of some of the issues that led to your separation and/or your anger..the issues with why your kids are keeping their distance..is probably a good place to begin peeling your "issues" away. And I am here to tell you that if you feel resentment towards your boyfriends kid, You should get out of the relationship NOW. I have been the "boy friends " daughter, and it is HORRIBLE when you feel like you are not wanted around, and no matter how much you try to hide it, the child will pick up on it..I did. Luckily, my daddy did too..and I ended up with a good step mother.

I hope you will allow us to be your friends/shoulders/ears....(BTW..I have 4 step kids..add that to my 2 and we have 6!!!!!  of course mine live with us( one mine , one ours) and 2 of my hubbys' full time..and I am here to tell you, step kids are a HUGE adjustment.....

 

 

cljconsultant
by on Jun. 13, 2010 at 7:34 PM


Quoting lcat:

First, I don't know what you want in a group.  This is a big mix of people with a variety of different problems.

Your first, statement you just want to run is not a good sign.  Running away doesn't sovle a thing, I know....I used to be the very best runner in the world.  I'd get upset at my boyfriend and just pack my things and run back to one of my children's places.  Instead of sitting down and talking it over.

You said you don't want to start over with a small child, have you discussed this with you BF?  Guilt is not a reason to stay with a person.  The only reason, you stay with a person is love.  Not necessity, not kindness, not gratude..nothing less than LOVE.

A new start at you Dad's is maybe something that will be good for you.  And yes, be sure to get some type of help when you get there and don't put it off.  It is not a normal feeling to want to run away from everything and everyone.

Have you ever thought you got into a relationship, too soon after you and your husband broke up?  Most of us hate to be alone and that I can understand, but we need that time to heal and to figure out who we are because we have been married.

Feeling angry all the time, is another reason you need to seek help.  Hitting another person is not the norm.

Best of luck to you on your move.

Linda

 

I'm looking for guidance I guess. I did get involved to quick and I knew this was going to happen. I was just looking for companionship not a live in bf. Bf kept asking me if he can move in and I kept saying I didnt think it was a good idea but went against my better judgement and let him move in and I regreat it so much I know I need to get out of this relationship and work on me. My bf has a short temper too and being in my state of mind too does'nt help the problem. When he got custody of his son he expected me to deal with babysitting well I would find people and they would'nt work out so I'd have to take day's off to take care of his son sometimes I would even keep my kids home to take care of him because he cant afford to pay the high cost of childcare but I told him I cant be taking anymore days off and I cant continue to leave the kids home to babysit because when my kids babysit and he would get home from school his son would cry that my kids were mean to him well my kids are not daycare providers so there for they will not babysit anymore so your gonna have to hire a professional and pay the high rates I will not miss anymore work you are the father it's your job too and he gets mad at me well I'm sorry I cant and wont do it. We've had problems even before his lil boy came to live here. My boyfriend is not the easiest person to talk to either. I also have kids and my youngest is 11yrs. and when I would see my son try to be loving to my bf my bf would'nt return the affection but bf wants me to be loving towards his little boy I dont get it why are you telling me when you cant return the gesture.I not going to run I know it wont help but I am moving because I cant afford to live on my own anymore and moving with my dad just makes sence and bf wants to come but I really dont want him to. I also talked to a girlfriend of mine in las vegas and she wants me to come live with her I'm seriously thinking I might.

proud_mama2
by on Jun. 14, 2010 at 2:36 AM

I would like to think you are in the right place.  I can tell you that when I get in my MAJOR depressive episodes I want to run as far away from things as I can so please know that you are not alone.  It sounds to me that you may want to get some help from a professional and start to focus on yourself. Much of the time if you take care of yourself and get healthy mentally and emotionally things start to go better with those people with whom you have close relationships. I hope this helps and please feel free to PM me if you ever need to.

pinklady77
by on Jun. 14, 2010 at 9:00 AM

Afraid you can't run away from yourself. Your problems will only be there when you get back. Been there done that . Take it one day at a time. If there is some action today you can take to address this issue I would encourage you to take it even if it's a small step like praying for strength to do what you have to do.

group hug Keep coming back we care

sharon

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