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Why do i have to share...

Posted by on Jul. 12, 2010 at 7:45 AM
  • 13 Replies

My son is from my first marriage which was a huge mistake the only good thing that came of it is cooper Scott my baby boy even though he's 7. Well he started to live with his dad and come home on the weekends I've decided i hate this i need more time with my baby. Now that summer is here i have him every other week this still does not feel like enough time! What do i do i hate his dad and have a hard time talking to him also he has been waiting to have this time with coop so i no he wont give him back any suggestions

by on Jul. 12, 2010 at 7:45 AM
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Replies (1-10):
-xoxo-
by on Jul. 12, 2010 at 8:00 AM

I have my 7 year old dd from a previous marriage every other week as well. My situation is a little different because I'm actually starting to get along and be civil with my ex. I do still miss Layla an awful lot, but I know that I'm doing what's best for her. She really loves her dad and wants to see him, so I try to do what makes her happy. My ex has said and done some things that make me want to rip his head off, but I always try to think about how he treats our daughter. In my case, he was a terrible husband, but a great father. I try to think of that and how happy it makes my dd to see him. I also try to get the time to pass faster by keeping my mind busy. I read books, take walks, and try to enjoy some 1 on 1 time with my youngest daughter. Sorry you're dealing with this :( 

Xantho
by on Jul. 12, 2010 at 10:55 AM
is there a costody order in place?
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LaceyN1121
by on Jul. 12, 2010 at 10:59 AM

Even though you hate the man, talk to him ask him about you keeping him 2 weeks than him 2 weeks... Even though you hate the guy your going to have to talk to him about a different arraingement that works for both of you not just one.

Debbie062008
by on Jul. 12, 2010 at 11:13 AM

My dh's custody agreement with his daughter's mom is every other week as well.  She's 9 now but until just recently, we switched one day in the middle of the week.  So the week that she was with her mom, we got her one day.  The week that she was with us, she went to her mom's for one day.  It helped break up the time and made it easier for everyone who was missing her and whom she missed.

Before that, we went three days, mom would have her four, then we'd take her four, mom would have her three. 

All those arrangements are 50/50.  Maybe one of those would work well for your family.

beck3029
by on Jul. 12, 2010 at 4:45 PM

Thank you for all the wonderful suggestions i think i will try the 1 day in the middle of the week that sounds good i hope the ex will agree because it is still 50 50 that is a great idea.

beck3029
by on Jul. 12, 2010 at 4:54 PM

its so nice to no that there are other moms dealing with this same issue. And its nice to have ways to get threw the week when he is gone. I read also but find its so much harded to concintrate on my life here when he is away all i think about is what he may be doin or if he is happy or hurting i just want to be the one my baby runs to and its so hard to relize he has a whole other family that r there for him at these times of need.

beck3029
by on Jul. 12, 2010 at 4:55 PM

unfortunitly yes there is we just had the order changer 3 months ago to this new one and it is much harder than i thought it would be.

-xoxo-
by on Jul. 12, 2010 at 5:07 PM

One of the good things about this is that your son is big enough now to talk to you. Try to calm down and know that you're a great mom. If something bad was going on over there, your boy would talk to you about it right away. I ask my dd if she had fun by her dad every week and she launches into a big story lol. If she ever felt scared or hurt etc, I know I'd be able to see changes in her and I'm confident that she'd talk to me. You sound like an awesome mommy, keep telling yourself that you have raised your son so well that you'll be able to know if something isn't right. You should also pat yourself on the back for letting him do what makes him happy. We might despise our ex's, but our kids love their dads. 

Xantho
by on Jul. 12, 2010 at 6:26 PM
see I'm on the other fence I'm step mom and hate when dd goes eow with BM cuz her track recoerd isn't that great...we're also gettingto the point where things are looking better...just takes time andthe realization that nothing is perfect
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Debbie062008
by on Jul. 12, 2010 at 6:38 PM

I'm the step mom too but I'm certainly glad you liked my suggestions.  I hope your ex agrees to try the one day a week thing.  My sd wishes we still did it but she's too irresponsible with homework and stuff now that we can't change in the middle of the week.

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