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separation

Posted by on Sep. 28, 2010 at 10:08 AM
  • 7 Replies

So I've finally decided to separate from DH. Last night I was stalking his ex-wife's facebook and he asked me why and I said I wanted to see an I miss my ex husband post. He said you will never see that and I asked do you wish she still cared about you to which he replied "yes, so I know that the seven years of our time together wasnt a waste of my life." so of course I freaked out and made a list of all the reasons why I know he still cares for her. I talked to a friend of mine from cafemom and she told me that if he still wanted her then it was his mess up and not mine. I'm always used to blaming our confrontations on me but she helped me realize that it wasn't me. it was him. So now I'm pretty sure we are gonna separate cause I don't want to live in her shadow and I'm tired of doing so. If he still loves her he should go back to her and leave me alone! I can't afford a divorce right now and will have to live with him until I can figure something else out. I really don't want to go back and live with my parents but might have to do that. All I know is I'm done living like this. Sorry this was so long. thanks for reading ladies!

I'm a 24 year old, had a daughter out of wedlock but married the baby's daddy, Bi-polar, BPD, OCD, pro-Obama, pro-choice, Atheist, vaccinating, non-statistical, planning on getting a B.S. in psychology, loving and caring, rock out, smoking, Marilyn Manson loving mommy to an adorable girl named Dawn Raven. I'm not your stereotypical idea of a mama but I love my daughter more than anything else. I'm anything but what you think I am!

by on Sep. 28, 2010 at 10:08 AM
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Replies (1-7):
ChaoticAtBest
by on Sep. 28, 2010 at 10:23 AM

Good luck, but have you thought about couple's therapy first? It might not be that he truly misses her, it might be more like he feels like a failure that the marriage didn't last. 

I dont' know how your marriage is, but maybe if he knew you felt as you do, he would realize that he is hurting this marriage too by his behaviour. 

Good luck and you have to do what makes you happy in the long run and if that is leaving him then that is what you need to do.

Serenity7
by on Sep. 28, 2010 at 12:20 PM

 (((((((((((((Hugs)))))))))))

casah4
by on Sep. 28, 2010 at 2:41 PM

 Have you two ever done counseling together?  I always try to encourage my friends to try counseling together before they end the relationship. It can help you guys communicate more effectively which really helps a lot.  Just something to think about. Good luck with whatever you decide to do. ((HUGS))

fallentears1986
by on Sep. 28, 2010 at 3:03 PM

I really wish he would do couseling but he won't even talk to me about it. He just clams up and says nothing and wont talk to me about anything. He has been avoiding me all day. It's tense in the house and I feel horrible!

rhodaj
by rho on Sep. 28, 2010 at 6:54 PM

 I am sorry you are having to go through this but I wish you the best.

Xantho
by on Sep. 28, 2010 at 10:21 PM

 I hope things work out for you.  Do what you think is best for you!

ChaoticAtBest
by on Sep. 29, 2010 at 11:41 AM

ok, I am really really sorry he is being like that. He has no right to make you feel horrible as he isn't willing to even try to fix this problem!

Try to stay positive and think about the good things in your life and work on a plan for what you want to do in your future. Start setting goals and work your way to them. In the long run you will feel better about yourself and see that you can do it as you start knocking those goals off of your list :)

Take care and do what you can to make yourself happy

Quoting fallentears1986:

I really wish he would do couseling but he won't even talk to me about it. He just clams up and says nothing and wont talk to me about anything. He has been avoiding me all day. It's tense in the house and I feel horrible!


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