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Experienced an unconfirmed miscarriage! Need support now more then ever.

Posted by on Sep. 28, 2010 at 5:38 PM
  • 13 Replies

First off Im a 23 year old mom to a 21 month old miracle boy and engaged (but spiritually married) to an amazingly support but unsure what to do to help guy.  We have been TTC#2 since last November but stopped due to lost of employment.  For that last few weeks I have felt pregnant, below is an email that I sent to a very close friend that has experienced a miscarriage explaing the best I can what has happened.

I have been talkin with my doctor for the last week about my symptoms and how they are identical to what I had when I got pregnant with DS.  I have had everything from implantation bleeding and minor cramping.  I have had major fatigue coupled with the inability to sleep at night.  I have been having extreme nausea.  Lately I have been constanly wanting to eat and just a couple hours after dinner Im hungry again.  This is a mirror image to when I got pregnant with DS.  My doctor was even sure I was pregnant though she hasnt seen me yet.  I just knew I was pregnant I could feel it I had the whole wanting to explode with excitement feeling.  When I started cramping yesterday I didnt think much of it till I noticed the light bleeding.  It only lasted for a few hours but had me on edge the rest of the day.  I had light bleeding about an hour before I went to bed and nothing else the rest of the night.  I woke up at about 6am to massive cramps and heavy bleeding.  When I laid back down I just had this feeling of emptyness and when SO rolled over and looked at me thats all it took for me to break down.  We have no car and no one here has the money to take me to the hospital, my doctor even said when I just talked to her that I dont need anymore stress and all of the tests would just cause that and there isnt any reason I need to really come in since Im under eight weeks all they would do it just confirm it and send me home so my body could naturally expel the fetal and placental tissue.

My doctor remembered that I hate medical intervention unless its medical nessacary.  My DS was born early due to complications and she found out then that only if my child or myself were in danger did I want the intervention.  She stated that the tests would make me uncomfortable about make the emotional pain worst.  i believe that if our ancestors didnt need medical help like we have these days then we dont really need it, at least she respects that.

Im currently at a stand still on what to do, I have told a few select people other then this post including my DF and some personal long time friends that thave experienced this. So I was wondering if since I am currently living with my mom and helping take care of my grandfather if maybe I should clue them in.  This was totally unexpected, we had been TTC#2 but stopped due to lost of employment for myself.

by on Sep. 28, 2010 at 5:38 PM
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Replies (1-10):
jazi1105
by Ruby Member on Sep. 28, 2010 at 5:49 PM

*hugs* I wish I knew what to say... 

casah4
by on Sep. 28, 2010 at 6:27 PM

 I'm so sorry!  ((HUGS))

mamacita4two
by on Sep. 28, 2010 at 6:28 PM
Sorry hun
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rhodaj
by rho on Sep. 28, 2010 at 6:39 PM

 (((((((((HUGS)))))))))  I have know idea what to tell.   I am very sorry

KatieCat2003
by on Sep. 28, 2010 at 7:57 PM
Many hugs and sending emotional healing!!

As for telling your family, if they knew you were pregnant, yes, they should know. Also if you feel like you need the support/ understanding I'd tell them. There's not much anyone can do FOR you, but maybe they can help keep stress down for a bit?

I'm sorry Hun!!
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annaica
by on Sep. 28, 2010 at 10:09 PM

 I am sorry you are hurting.  I hope the pain will pass soon and that you may feel at ease with what the next step may be.   Hugs! 

Xantho
by on Sep. 28, 2010 at 10:13 PM

 *HUGS*

I hope you will be able to heal quickly physically and emotionally, and remember we are always here for you!

Serenity7
by on Sep. 29, 2010 at 1:20 PM

 (((((((((Hugs))))))))

ChaoticAtBest
by on Sep. 30, 2010 at 11:30 AM

I am sorry that you are going through this.

I have had 3 miscarriages and I only told my family about 2 of them. The 3rd one we kept to ourselves because it was too much to hear everyone express their sympathy. Plus one week later we lost my mil.

Take care of yourself and you will need to decide how you want to tell people if you choose to tell them.

wannaBgreen
by on Sep. 30, 2010 at 11:46 AM

I know all to well what it feels like to experience a miscarriage.  A loss of life is a loss of hopes and dreams of what the future might hold for the unborn child and you.  I am so sorry for you.  Mourn, cry, be angry or whatever your body and mind needs to do.  Share your feelings with whoever you can trust them with.  You know your family best.  If they can support you, then tell them.  If you can't; then tell them your weepy and grumpy due to your period.

I hope this has helped.

Linda

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