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So lonely................

Posted by on Dec. 9, 2010 at 2:53 AM
  • 16 Replies

 I have so much to be grateful for in my life... I have 2 adult sons, beautiful daughter-in-law, 2 adorable grandsons & a loving hubby but I'm so LONELY, my hubby is a Marine, we're based in N.C. have been here 9 months, I've never lived away from my hometown and havent really made any friends here, I hate all the special things I'm missing being away from my grandsons. My oldest son is a single parent of the 2 little boys and I lived with him for 9 months while my hubby was deployed so I got to be with my grandsons every day, we live about 5 hours away from them now. My hubby job here is so much more demanding than where we were based before, long hours, week-ends & alot of stress on him. This is my second marriage ( 4 yrs ) my first marriage lasted 21 yrs, I'm 45 yrs old, most of the other military wives I've met are young with young children so I feel we have nothing in common. iI do take med.'s but feel like they are just not helping right now, I also feel like my Dr. is not understanding my stress, hes not american and sometimes I feel like because he doesn't speak english well plus I quit smoking for months then start back when I get lonely & stressed then I feel guiltly about it ( hubby doesn't smoke) I'm not close to my Mom, sisters or brothers, my Dad died when I was in my 20's. I baby-sit a 3 yr old little boy and love having him here during the day plus making some money helps not to feel like I help out with bills or I'm able to help my son with his little ones because I know he has it rough with money being a single parent. I'm just so LONELY and the holidays seem to make it worse, any advice ???

by on Dec. 9, 2010 at 2:53 AM
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Replies (1-10):
by on Dec. 9, 2010 at 3:03 AM
Um 5 hours to visit your son maybe you could do that sometime and find friend in here around where you live?
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by on Dec. 9, 2010 at 8:14 AM

I do visit my family when we can but as I stated I also baby-sit a 3 yr. old in my home so I just can't up and leave plus I'd love to find friends in this group, I'm not on the computer very often but I do try to get on at least once a day for an hour more or less.

by on Dec. 9, 2010 at 10:52 AM
Talk to yopur friends...
by on Dec. 9, 2010 at 11:09 AM

hey there, i lost my family members also, so on the holidays i just go to the church an have dinner with the homeless, cause they seem to understand what is is to need someones love an company. try an enjoy your self, dont let no one steal your joy, cause the world didnt give it to you. peace

by on Dec. 9, 2010 at 11:10 AM

I can't give advice but can tell you that what you are feeling is totally normal. My kids have gone out on their own too, and we live in the sticks with mostly young couples/families as neighbors who don't seem to have much in common with "old folks". I understand how you miss seeing the grandsons daily, but many other grandparents are never able to do that, so don't make it the focus of your life.... that will just make you more unhappy.

I hope you can find an American doctor! That might make a big difference! Don't feel so guilty over smoking... you'll quit for good when you are ready. And be sure to give that husband some big hugs when he is home.

The holidays are hard for a lot of folks. I wish the very best for you and your DH during this difficult season, and healthy happy changes in the year tochristmas tree come! Hugs, momma!

by on Dec. 9, 2010 at 11:38 AM

i'm sorry you're home sick. Whenever I feel lonely, I tend to come to cm and chat with friends here. (((Hugs)))

by Silver Member on Dec. 9, 2010 at 2:01 PM


by on Dec. 9, 2010 at 3:54 PM

i know how hard it can be away from your family and friends around the holidays. i use to be in the air force, and at holidays it was hard for me also. if you need somebody to just talk, pm me, i am 56yrs, and a very good listener.hugs

by on Dec. 9, 2010 at 10:23 PM

i know what you mean. i get really lonely too sometimes. I am so far from anyone I even remotely knew before and sometimes I just feel stuck and all alone. You're not alone :) I would try to get involved with something around where you live, maybe volunteering to help out with a holiday charity/soup kitchen or something? Also, a pp mentioned getting involved with a church. That helped me a lot when I was younger. Even though I'm not a believer, it was still nice to go hear the message and spend time with other people. Good luck :) Oh, and even though most of the other wives are younger, remember that most of them are far away from their families and friends too and would probably still like someone to talk to.

by on Dec. 10, 2010 at 5:41 AM

Aww momma I'm sorry, it sounds like you're going through a really tough time right now ((hugs)) I can totally relate to the loneliness as I am also a military wife and we now live across the country from my family. I'm a younger mom with a younger child but I still haven't really met anyone up here yet that I've been able to make a connection with. I'm not sure what base you're at, Fort Bragg possibly? but there are groups on here for most of the installations, you might try searching Fort Bragg Army Wives (just for instance) and see what groups come up. You might meet some women there. I know it's hard being away from friends and family, and having your husband work long hours on top of it. You sound like a very sweet and caring person. I think you may want to try looking for a new doctor, if you haven't done this, try searching on the internet for doctor ratings, that way you can find a good psychiatrist based on the reviews other patients have posted. GL momma and things will get easier :)

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