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When weill this pain and sadness go away?

Posted by on Mar. 2, 2011 at 10:12 AM
  • 18 Replies

The last few days i have been so depressed, i been crying all the time...MY eyes are almost swollen shut from it. I feel so numb.....I feel worse now then when my b/f first died its been a little over a month and since Sunday i have felt so much worse....

by on Mar. 2, 2011 at 10:12 AM
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Replies (1-10):
JoyJoy
by Member on Mar. 2, 2011 at 10:17 AM

 im sorry =(

hugs

AllThatBabyJazz
by on Mar. 2, 2011 at 10:44 AM

I am sorry hun *hugs*

Raeann11
by on Mar. 2, 2011 at 10:49 AM

im sorryhugs

boysrcool
by on Mar. 2, 2011 at 11:10 AM

 Sometimes it takes a bit of time for feeling about death of a loved one to sink in. Their are the 4 stages, grieve and denial, why me, depression and acceptance. (variations of that but pretty much that's the wording).

You might be thinking about the person, remembering and feeling sad. Even if you are near your period you may be more sensitive to your feeling about your friend. So, I think it's ok that you feel so sad about this. It is, in fact, a sad thing.

However, try not to consume your day. I believe the dead want to see us happy so have a good cry then find something to celebrate your good times. Get those cookies you both love or something like that(just an example)

single_and_preg
by on Mar. 2, 2011 at 11:24 AM

Thanks

yes thats my problem im letting it consume my whole day....As soon as i wake up thats all i think about, I dont know how to stop thinknig about him, I tried going out to eat with a friend, but i still just cry...I had to pull over the car because i was crying so much...I just wish this didnt happen, and a way i could stop thinknig about it so much.

Quoting boysrcool:

 Sometimes it takes a bit of time for feeling about death of a loved one to sink in. Their are the 4 stages, grieve and denial, why me, depression and acceptance. (variations of that but pretty much that's the wording).

You might be thinking about the person, remembering and feeling sad. Even if you are near your period you may be more sensitive to your feeling about your friend. So, I think it's ok that you feel so sad about this. It is, in fact, a sad thing.

However, try not to consume your day. I believe the dead want to see us happy so have a good cry then find something to celebrate your good times. Get those cookies you both love or something like that(just an example)


boysrcool
by on Mar. 2, 2011 at 11:30 AM

 maybe it's unrealistic to think you can make it go away. You didn't want him to go away so why would you want thoughts of him to go away? But I think allow yourself a certain time and then tell yourself that you cannot cry about it anymore that day. I'm sure you have a to do list that is not getting done. Seems to be a common theme with all/most of us. If a place in your home is triggering it move away from that. Like if you seem to do most of that crying while sitting on the couch then go somewhere else to change the mood.

MIMIBRIE
by on Mar. 2, 2011 at 11:34 AM

 It will happen in its own time. When you are ready. There is no set "grieving period" certain things can cause you to start thinking of them all over again. You will have good days and bad days. Its like you dont want to forget him at all and your mind knows that so he is constantly on your mind. Dont feel that you have to be strong all the time. People often grieve in their own ways and in their own time. Im very sorry you have to go thru this. Have you considered writing him a letter and going to his graveside and reading it to him? Or attaching the letter to a balloon and releasing it? There are a few methods that may or may not help you. Try to get into a group. Its one thing to feel alone and then to realize you are not alone and the people surrounding you are going or have gone thru the exact same situation.

single_and_preg
by on Mar. 2, 2011 at 11:36 AM

yeah your right, yeah i havent been getting much of anyhting done....thanks for your advice....and hopefully i will get some motivation to do stuff that need to be done.

Quoting boysrcool:

 maybe it's unrealistic to think you can make it go away. You didn't want him to go away so why would you want thoughts of him to go away? But I think allow yourself a certain time and then tell yourself that you cannot cry about it anymore that day. I'm sure you have a to do list that is not getting done. Seems to be a common theme with all/most of us. If a place in your home is triggering it move away from that. Like if you seem to do most of that crying while sitting on the couch then go somewhere else to change the mood.


single_and_preg
by on Mar. 2, 2011 at 11:38 AM

Thank yes your right...I have been wrinint letter and reading cards to him at his cemetary...I been going there alot.

This moring i started searching for a group in my area, i cant find one...but im going to keep looking, because yeah i agree it would feel better seeing other people going through the same thing.

Quoting MIMIBRIE:

 It will happen in its own time. When you are ready. There is no set "grieving period" certain things can cause you to start thinking of them all over again. You will have good days and bad days. Its like you dont want to forget him at all and your mind knows that so he is constantly on your mind. Dont feel that you have to be strong all the time. People often grieve in their own ways and in their own time. Im very sorry you have to go thru this. Have you considered writing him a letter and going to his graveside and reading it to him? Or attaching the letter to a balloon and releasing it? There are a few methods that may or may not help you. Try to get into a group. Its one thing to feel alone and then to realize you are not alone and the people surrounding you are going or have gone thru the exact same situation.


25beengoodtome
by on Mar. 2, 2011 at 11:42 AM

Honor your lost loved one by living your life one day at a time. 

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