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hate my life. i just want it over.

Posted by on Mar. 2, 2011 at 6:08 PM
  • 8 Replies
im 32. i have 3 kids and i only planned 2. . though i sure do love this new baby. life was hard before him . .much harder now that we are dealing with 3 boys. i had to quit school after 3 years which leaves me 50000 to pay back in loans. its not so easy to defer them all. . and eventually i gotta pay em back anyways. my DH makes enough to get us by . not enough to pay back loans. we cannot affoed day care and dont have help to watch kids so i can work full time. so i work part time in the evenings when dh gets home. so basically we never see each other. what a nice marriage we have. we live in a tiny 2 bed 1 bath and we cant afford to move. we just spent 2000 on dh car and apparently it didnt fix it and now it needs another 1700. . we cant afford it . but we also cant afford to get another car and make payments but we do need 2 cars. my oldest is starting to have behavioral issues and i cant seem to do anything right to fix them. im heartbroken every day knowing the future for my kids is shit because i never got a career going before they were born. we are poor and no relief is in sight. this is not how i imagined my life. i hate it. its too depressing. i just want things to get better but everything just seems to get worse. i lost my best freind of 13 years inm september and i feel lost without her.

im so so sad.
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by on Mar. 2, 2011 at 6:08 PM
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Replies (1-8):
rhodaj
by rho on Mar. 2, 2011 at 6:31 PM

 Hun while my kids was growing up we was also poor and I also had to take a part time job in the afternoon.  We drove are cars till the wheels was falling off.  So I completely understand. For your sons behavior I would see about getting him in a behaviorial councler.  If you don't have insurance that covers it there is allot of places that either goes by your income or is free.

good luck

angeline
by on Mar. 2, 2011 at 6:37 PM
Hugs sorry you're feeling so down... but there is a lot of help out there .. and I know how u feel I am only 20 with 2 kids I had to drop out of my dream school because of an unplanned pregnancy that I wasn't ready for (and now I have PPD to top it off) and I am 30,000 in debt because of school (ps don't ever go to the art institute lol) .... but don't give up hope .. talk about what youre feeling to someone ... find help ..good luck :)
VelvetCat
by on Mar. 2, 2011 at 6:42 PM
omg that is where i went!!! what did u go for? i was in interior design.

have u had any luck with defering loans or repaying minimal amounts? i need to find a way to make this easy for myself and the loan companies sure dont want to offer any advice.


Quoting angeline:

Hugs sorry you're feeling so down... but there is a lot of help out there .. and I know how u feel I am only 20 with 2 kids I had to drop out of my dream school because of an unplanned pregnancy that I wasn't ready for (and now I have PPD to top it off) and I am 30,000 in debt because of school (ps don't ever go to the art institute lol) .... but don't give up hope .. talk about what youre feeling to someone ... find help ..good luck :)

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angeline
by on Mar. 2, 2011 at 6:54 PM
Omg!!! Seriously?! Yeah I feel like I signed my life away .... I was going there for media arts and animation .... I am still stuck at 30,000 they make it really difficult , the only thing I've accomplished was figuring out how much I owe lol uuugh
matreshka
by on Mar. 2, 2011 at 7:45 PM

my husband's school loans stress us out.  the dept of ed takes his tax return no questions asked, and having this debt drives me crazy. honestly i just ignore it and i wont talk to him about it anymore.

i really stress about the future too, we have no money, I cant work and my disability check is small. but i try to keep in mind that my kids have loving parents.  i had money growing up but tons of abuse. id rather have us be broke and happy and that my sons know they are safe and loved.

annaica
by on Mar. 2, 2011 at 11:46 PM

 I went to a community college and owe too and it does suck knowing it isnt affordable yet to pay them back... i still am not done with school either :(  but sooooo many ppl do it, hubby did and he finally with his tax returns paid them completely off :)  it didn't even take him 10 years.  so it is possible!  i am sorry you are in a rough patch... i hope things start looking better for you soon!  HUGS!

Raeann11
by on Mar. 3, 2011 at 11:56 AM

I understand about the school loans. I went to school for Medical Transcription and was told yes you can work at home and do it part time. Well when it came to the end and finding a job. The lady that helps us do this(this is a totally new one) says I will not be able to work at home unless I work for a local hospital here and I have to work there for 2 years and even then I may not get approved and if I do. I will have to work there schedule. So I would still have to have daycare. So my money would all be gone. Oh and I will not find anywhere that is part time.

Know these jobs are being taken over by computers. So I have to pay $10,000 for schooling I will never get to use.

I had to look at it positive and it really helped me with my shyness and big time on computer skills.

I hope things get better soon. We all go through rough patches in our lives. I really feel it is what makes us stronger.

bouncingsoul
by on Mar. 3, 2011 at 11:57 AM

ah! im so sorry. im exactly where you are at right now...i feel your pain! i have two kids. my son was just diagnosed with autism. so all the evaluations and assessments and all the appointments are stressful enough. i got a degree but i would like to go back..however, it seems like ill never be able to. i feel like a failure too and im just so paranoid about it. i wish i could contribute and maybe we could get a second car among other things and do a lot more as a family. but we cant because i cant work...ive tried finding pt evening work but i cant find anything.  we cant afford a sitter either. and i would be scared of having somebody watch my son...because he can be a handful.

you arent alone! i know that doesnt a whole lot..but its something! :)

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