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today I feel devastated

Posted by on Aug. 17, 2011 at 11:19 AM
  • 7 Replies

ok maybe a strong word but my boyfriend assaulted a girl he's been staying with and her boyfriend just let him. in fact they tried to get her arrested saying that she was assaulting her bf. hes tried to pull shi like this on me before so i know he's lying. what makes me sick is her boyfriend just let him do this to her.  I was chatting with her before they showed up we were trying to set up a playdate. not anymore she's going out eof town today.

she said he cam in and started disrespecting her, i didn't see it coming but it's been mounting for a few days he's been complaining about her being on the lcomputer and then she asked him to babysit so I guess he'd rather play video games...it turned into a full blown psychotic episode he pushed her around and dug deep trying to leave the biggest emotional scars he could - yelling in her face. she said 'oh my god his eyes i thought he was going to kill me.  i didn't see it coming.' I found his meds at my house. I almost feel betrayed that he let his rage out on another woman, like if he had just dropped this asshole friend of his and come home I could've made him feel better, instead I feel like i let the dog out of the cage or something and someone other than me got hurt. I feel like it's my responsibility. eHe told me he had adhd and depression problems, what i had to figure out for myself and actually his mom told me later was that's he's schizophrenic - I know those eyes and I know when someone is not themselves. they look hollow. lost. they turn into something completely different -  its like a contraction it's so intense for the minute or two by the time you get a break you litereally forget what the contraction felt like 30 seconds ago.

theres a no contact order between us because of several of these episodes directed towards me. I'm carrying his baby and I just don't think we can control this beast between the two of us. I love him to death and I wish it was worth the risk but I think if anything between manic depression on my side of the family and whatever the hells wrong with him we can't be strong enough together to protect our children from mental illness.

The father of my daughters is also schizophrenic and after 5 yrs that was how I learned to recognize it in other people.

I'm devastated he did this to another woman.

My baby's kicking and I hope I'm strong enought to protect him. I want him there more than anything but I don't think it's a good idea.

by on Aug. 17, 2011 at 11:19 AM
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Replies (1-7):
littleladiesx3
by on Aug. 17, 2011 at 11:22 AM

I think I have to do this alone to keep from the two of us triggering psychosis in the kids. we ride eachothers lows and it spirals totally out of control.

rhodaj
by rho on Aug. 17, 2011 at 11:41 AM

 I agree with you of him not being around you and the baby.  It also not your fault with what happened last night.  I feel bad for the young lady that this happened to and would like to kick his ass for not protecting her himself.  But you are not his babysitter and you are not to blame.

Hugs

leahbeah143
by Leah on Aug. 17, 2011 at 11:42 AM

 It's not your fault that he went after someone, it's his own fault. He needs help and he should be in jail if he attacked someone like that. Do not blame yourself and you and your kiddos should stay as far away from him as possible!

matreshka
by on Aug. 17, 2011 at 11:44 AM

(((hugs)) )he doenst sound like he's a safe person to be around.  abusers use manipulation to make you feel like you need them.  i would tlak to family and a lawyer and to see what you can do about keeping you and your baby safe. if he takes his anger out on you, other women etc he may very well take it out on the baby.  please stay away from him, i know its hard.

there are many support groups for victims of domestic violence, plus advocacy workers that can help get you free representation in court.

i am a survivor of domestic abuse and my heart goes out to you.

DAHLONEGAMOMMY
by on Aug. 17, 2011 at 11:54 AM

First of all, you did not cause this and it is not your guilt to bare. You didnt let the dog out of the cage. what are you supposed to do? Follow him around all day and everyday? The man is mentally ill and that is not the result of something you did or did not do. He is dangerous and the fact he would behave this away around other people is proof it has nothing to do with you. You couldnt have known nor been able to control him even if you did know. He needs serious help and until he gets it, no one is safe. I hate that the other person was treated this way and that you feel you are the reason. However he did this and worse to you. He is sick. You cannot prevent it nor control it. He cant even control it. 

Naturewoman4
by on Aug. 17, 2011 at 3:30 PM
I agree with the others. DONT ever blame yourself PLEASE. men want you to feel sorry for them. You NEED to protect your kids & yourself. DOMT FALL FOR HIS TEARS OR PLEADS. been there, done that. its HIS respondability to fix HIMSELF. STAY AWAY & JUST TELL HIM HE NEEDS HELP.
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lyrick24
by Group Admin on Aug. 17, 2011 at 7:43 PM


Quoting rhodaj:

 I agree with you of him not being around you and the baby.  It also not your fault with what happened last night.  I feel bad for the young lady that this happened to and would like to kick his ass for not protecting her himself.  But you are not his babysitter and you are not to blame.

Hugs

i agree!

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