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This is so depressing. How can I have so many things wrong with me at 23 years old?! (piog)

Posted by on Aug. 17, 2011 at 3:53 PM
  • 13 Replies

I am really worried/upset/depressed/angry today and I don't wanna talk to DH about it 'cause he'll just go into denial mode and try to convince me that everything will be fine when I know it won't.... and I don't wanna talk to my mom 'cause she'll just get all upset and worried and that won't help me.

I have been having health problems for a while now and they just seem to be getting worse. I am 23, almost 24 and I have so many damn things wrong with me it is ridiculous. I have fibromyalgia / CFS, major back and neck problems (which I am convinced are from my last epi), adenomyosis (which has caused me to bleed heavily for over 2 months now), uterine prolapse, carpel tunnel syndrome, arthritis, constant hip pain (started during pregnancy with the twins and never left), asthma that has steadily gotten worse since I QUIT smoking, type 2 diabetes, anemia, severe IBS (I know this is TMI but I seriously have to go like 6x a day or more), severe GERD which causes chest pain and makes me feel like I'm having a heart attack, hiatal hernia, gallstones..... and now THIS.....

Three days ago I went to my pulmonologist because I was having some shortness of breath and things like that so they did a breathing test and my lung function is down to 62%.... last time (3 years ago) it was 85% so that's a big drop. He was pretty concerned about it and went ahead and started me on steroids, Singulair, inhalers, and antibiotics just in case there was any infection going on. He told me to come back in 2 weeks for another breathing test to see if the meds helped any and he set me up for a CT scan of my chest and told me if things got any worse before then to go to the ER and he would probably wanna admit me to see what's going on. Well, all day yesterday I had a sharp pain in the right side of my chest every time I would cough, laugh, breathe deep, clear my throat or even talk loudly. So I called my doc to see what I should do and he told me to go to the ER.

So I went and they ran a ton of tests, went head and did the CT scan and it showed that my pulmonary artery is enlarged, which is a sign of pulmonary hypertension. He said there has to be some kind of problem going on for it to be enlarged unless it is just a genetic defect which he said is not likely. So now I have to have an echocardiogram and a bunch of other stuff to see if it's pulmonary hypertension, which he said it probably is. What I don't get is..... WHY?! I am 23 fucking years old for crying out loud. What the hell have I done for all of this stuff to be going wrong? I literally feel like my whole body is just failing. Yes, I used to smoke but I know people who have smoked for decades and don't have the problems I have. I don't do drugs, I don't drink.... Yeah, I'm overweight but again, so are a lot of people and they don't have these problems.

I am just starting to feel hopeless. It's just one thing after another. I am tired of going to all these different doctors, tired of taking a ton of pills every day, tired of feeling like shit, tired of LIFE in general.

by on Aug. 17, 2011 at 3:53 PM
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Replies (1-10):
JenMarie2007
by on Aug. 17, 2011 at 4:00 PM

BUMP!

alleycat_2
by on Aug. 17, 2011 at 4:07 PM
I'm so sorry that you are going through so much.
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alotleft2do
by on Aug. 17, 2011 at 4:16 PM

I do understand your frustration. I have had alot of health problems myself and what gets me really upset is I get around old people who are like 70 or 80 and in mint health and they look down on me for complaining about my hip or my knees. I have had arthritis all over all my life. That is just one thing wrong but I know for me it feels like I have been robbed of a good healthy body while others are in great shape.There's old high school friends who are my age(41) and they brag about bike riding 25 miles or kick boxing every day after work, and I'm lucky if I can stand and do dishes without pain or walk to the mailbox without my knees locking. I do not know why some people have great health and others have it hard.Keep your chin up, try not to dwell to much because it will make you sad/angry/frustrated. Focus on the kids to keep you going.

JenMarie2007
by on Aug. 17, 2011 at 4:21 PM

Thanks for your reply. I also get frustrated sometimes when I see older people who are in better health than I am. It just doesn't seem fair. I know a 94 year old woman who doesn't seem to have any problems at all. She walks around on her own just fine, still drives and does all of her own shopping and stuff like that and she lives by herself with no help at all. It is amazing. Most people don't even make it to see that age and if they do they usually have some type of health problems. Not her, she is healthy as can be. And I am not saying that's a bad thing, I'm glad she can still be independent and everything. It just seems so crazy that someone who is 23 years old can have worse health problems than a 94 year old!!!! Kwim?

Quoting alotleft2do:

I do understand your frustration. I have had alot of health problems myself and what gets me really upset is I get around old people who are like 70 or 80 and in mint health and they look down on me for complaining about my hip or my knees. I have had arthritis all over all my life. That is just one thing wrong but I know for me it feels like I have been robbed of a good healthy body while others are in great shape.There's old high school friends who are my age(41) and they brag about bike riding 25 miles or kick boxing every day after work, and I'm lucky if I can stand and do dishes without pain or walk to the mailbox without my knees locking. I do not know why some people have great health and others have it hard.Keep your chin up, try not to dwell to much because it will make you sad/angry/frustrated. Focus on the kids to keep you going.


alotleft2do
by on Aug. 17, 2011 at 4:29 PM

I do know what you mean, I live in a very small town and all these old people are just as lively at 80/90 yrs old then people in their 20's. Yes that is great and everything but those people also have the opinion that if they have made it that old and are doing fine they believe everyone should be just fine. Another thing for me is I qualify for a handicap parking sticker because of my hips and knees but you look at me and it doesn't look like I need it. People cannot see the cringing pain inside of me as I walk. I have no insurance to get the hip/knee replacement I have been needing for 5 yrs now I also don't have any meds either to slow down the erosion of my joints or pain pills. I also have severe sleep apnea and my lungs all day long feel depleted of air, but no money for a CPAP machine

Quoting JenMarie2007:

Thanks for your reply. I also get frustrated sometimes when I see older people who are in better health than I am. It just doesn't seem fair. I know a 94 year old woman who doesn't seem to have any problems at all. She walks around on her own just fine, still drives and does all of her own shopping and stuff like that and she lives by herself with no help at all. It is amazing. Most people don't even make it to see that age and if they do they usually have some type of health problems. Not her, she is healthy as can be. And I am not saying that's a bad thing, I'm glad she can still be independent and everything. It just seems so crazy that someone who is 23 years old can have worse health problems than a 94 year old!!!! Kwim?

Quoting alotleft2do:

I do understand your frustration. I have had alot of health problems myself and what gets me really upset is I get around old people who are like 70 or 80 and in mint health and they look down on me for complaining about my hip or my knees. I have had arthritis all over all my life. That is just one thing wrong but I know for me it feels like I have been robbed of a good healthy body while others are in great shape.There's old high school friends who are my age(41) and they brag about bike riding 25 miles or kick boxing every day after work, and I'm lucky if I can stand and do dishes without pain or walk to the mailbox without my knees locking. I do not know why some people have great health and others have it hard.Keep your chin up, try not to dwell to much because it will make you sad/angry/frustrated. Focus on the kids to keep you going.



JenMarie2007
by on Aug. 17, 2011 at 4:40 PM

I know... sometimes I wonder .... if I feel this bad now how bad will I feel when I am 40 or 50?! It sucks. My mom has sleep apnea too. That is a scary thing.

Quoting alotleft2do:

I do know what you mean, I live in a very small town and all these old people are just as lively at 80/90 yrs old then people in their 20's. Yes that is great and everything but those people also have the opinion that if they have made it that old and are doing fine they believe everyone should be just fine. Another thing for me is I qualify for a handicap parking sticker because of my hips and knees but you look at me and it doesn't look like I need it. People cannot see the cringing pain inside of me as I walk. I have no insurance to get the hip/knee replacement I have been needing for 5 yrs now I also don't have any meds either to slow down the erosion of my joints or pain pills. I also have severe sleep apnea and my lungs all day long feel depleted of air, but no money for a CPAP machine

Quoting JenMarie2007:

Thanks for your reply. I also get frustrated sometimes when I see older people who are in better health than I am. It just doesn't seem fair. I know a 94 year old woman who doesn't seem to have any problems at all. She walks around on her own just fine, still drives and does all of her own shopping and stuff like that and she lives by herself with no help at all. It is amazing. Most people don't even make it to see that age and if they do they usually have some type of health problems. Not her, she is healthy as can be. And I am not saying that's a bad thing, I'm glad she can still be independent and everything. It just seems so crazy that someone who is 23 years old can have worse health problems than a 94 year old!!!! Kwim?

Quoting alotleft2do:

I do understand your frustration. I have had alot of health problems myself and what gets me really upset is I get around old people who are like 70 or 80 and in mint health and they look down on me for complaining about my hip or my knees. I have had arthritis all over all my life. That is just one thing wrong but I know for me it feels like I have been robbed of a good healthy body while others are in great shape.There's old high school friends who are my age(41) and they brag about bike riding 25 miles or kick boxing every day after work, and I'm lucky if I can stand and do dishes without pain or walk to the mailbox without my knees locking. I do not know why some people have great health and others have it hard.Keep your chin up, try not to dwell to much because it will make you sad/angry/frustrated. Focus on the kids to keep you going.




JenMarie2007
by on Aug. 17, 2011 at 4:49 PM

BUMP!

annaica
by on Aug. 17, 2011 at 5:33 PM
Sounds exactly like how I feel. Hugs
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JenMarie2007
by on Aug. 17, 2011 at 5:37 PM

Well then I feel sorry for you! It sucks!

Quoting annaica:

Sounds exactly like how I feel. Hugs


annaica
by on Aug. 17, 2011 at 5:48 PM
I know it is so hard... I wish I had something good to say right now, I really do. I have pcos, hypothyroidism, possible endometriosis- they're making me take birth control to prevent it for now, hypertension, depression, plus my son has developmental delays and severe adhd/odd and my daughter is a crazy toddler so yeah it sucks... I hope things get better for both of us! It is very hard to manage some days. Just have to try our best to make it better... big hugs

Quoting JenMarie2007:

Well then I feel sorry for you! It sucks!


Quoting annaica:

Sounds exactly like how I feel. Hugs


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