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Posted by on Sep. 14, 2011 at 10:57 AM
  • 5 Replies

Hello, my name is Tania, I am 24. I have 2 kids- a son that is almost 5 and a daughter that is almost 2. I think I have been dealing w/ depression for a long time...only I didn't know what it was. I always thought that when you are "depressed" you sit in a dark room and cry all day. That wasn't me- yes, I would have my days where I would WANT to cry all day. But, I was a mother, I had to make myself get thru the day. But the other days I was fine (or as fine as I could be) When it took us almost 2 years to get pregnant w/ my daughter..I sank down lower.

After I had my daughter, I almost bled to death and had to have an emergency D&C 3 weeks postpartum. I haven't felt the same since. I get to such a low that I have to literally FORCE myself to do anything besides feed my kids and make sure they don't burn the house down. I don't want to do anything...clean, socialize, take care of myself, nothing. I make myself to clean for the sake of our kids but I don't do it how I normally would. It's just to keep it "tidy"so people don't notice that things have gone downhill. I get to the point where I don't feel like I can handle ANYTHING else- the stress of everyday life is getting to me. The "routine" is getting to me. I sometimes feel like the walls are closing in on me and I don't know how to handle it so I shut down. I feel like a robot doing my daily tasks and at the end of an exhausting day- I can't sleep bc I am stressing and worrying about what wasn't done today and now I am going to have to do MORE tomorrow.....

I haven't been formally diagnosed yet...bc I just now had the courage to talk to my husband about it...I know it sounds weird but I am embarassed to talk to anyone else bc I feel like a failure. I am taking it day by day (some good but mostly bad) and I joined this group to have a place to come to and vent w/ out being judged.

Thank you for listening (reading...lol)

by on Sep. 14, 2011 at 10:57 AM
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Replies (1-5):
jackbe
by on Sep. 14, 2011 at 11:15 AM
Oh yes I know how u feel going thru thAt but my boys are older and I feel I'm taking it out in them always. Not good! I feel I can't function alot of days but I do but not happily just do it so it looks like i am. Maybe it's hormonal. Hormones play a huge part in ones emotional well being and is common. Maybe see a specialist about it before just thinking itsjust depression
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Cenedra64
by Silver Member on Sep. 14, 2011 at 11:59 AM

welcome

Raeann11
by on Sep. 14, 2011 at 1:44 PM

HUGS, please get some help. You are not a failure. You need to get better.

lyrick24
by Group Admin on Sep. 14, 2011 at 4:11 PM

welcome. im glad you came here. what you are describing is depression and it sound pretty bad. you need to see a psychiatrist and probably get some meds. and it wouldnt hurt to see a therapist either. i have shut down like that before. as a matter of fact im just now coming out of it so there is help but you nee to get it as soon as possible.

jazi1105
by Ruby Member on Sep. 14, 2011 at 8:45 PM

you're not a failure mama. There's nothing to be ashamed about...depression is something we can't help. I'd seek out a therapist, and get some help. I hope you find the answers and get the help you need!

Btw-Welcome to the group...we're always here if you need us :)

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