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Don't know what to do

Posted by on Sep. 14, 2011 at 8:38 PM
  • 10 Replies

Hi, my name is Stephanie, I am 18 years old and I have a 6 and a half week old baby boy named David. My boyfriend and I split up two weeks before he was born so I am not living back with my parents and am raising this amazing baby boy on my own with a little bit of help from my family. But I am feeling very overwhelmbed and stressed out. I have had problems with depression before becoming pregnant but now it's harder to stay out of depression because there is so muc more to be depressed about like not being able to do what I used to be able to do, and having my baby's daddy coming over and telling me that he went to band show' and hanging out till all hours really makes me more depressed for here he is doing what ever he wants and doesn't have to take care of a new born... I love my child to death and glad I had him but again very very stressed out... any sugestions?

by on Sep. 14, 2011 at 8:38 PM
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Replies (1-10):
prplroses
by on Sep. 14, 2011 at 8:49 PM
Can you leave the baby with his dad for a couple hrs so you can get some time to yourself? If not with him then maybe someone else? Good luck, raising a baby by yourself at a young age is hard ( I know, I was 17 when I had my first). But you can do it! *hugs*
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lyrick24
by Group Admin on Sep. 15, 2011 at 6:45 AM

its very hard when you have a baby that young and you still want to go out and do things. i know cause i had my first child four days after i turned 17. i was lucky in that my parents would help and my husbands parents would help. but i was not much of the going out type. what i done i could do with my child. but if you feel you need to go out and experience some of those things that a teenager experiences i would talk it over with my parents and  maybe set up one night a week where you could go out one night and sleep in a little while the next day. maybe you could clean house or something for them for doing it. and maybe your boyfriends parents would help to. i dont know if they have anything to do with the child but if they do you could ask. also your boyfriend or ex could help. its not fair that he has no responsibility in this. that is his child too. good luck

matreshka
by on Sep. 15, 2011 at 10:08 AM

Work out a custody agreement and visitation schedule.  lean on your family for help so you can have time to yourself when feeling overwhelmed.  try to do something nice for yourself on a regular basis.  if you continue to feel overwhelmed make an appointment with a therapist.

zboys
by Gold Member on Sep. 15, 2011 at 4:57 PM
Hi, Stephanie! So you are with your parents now? It's very normal to feel overwhelmed with a newborn. You will need much support in the days, weeks, and months ahead. Are there any classes in your area for teen moms? Does the hospital offer any classes for new moms? I remember with my firstborn (which was 20 years ago--lol!), I took a new mom and tot class that helped me to learn about my baby and helped me to meet other people. Take good care of yourself and your baby, Momma.
jazi1105
by Ruby Member on Sep. 15, 2011 at 6:19 PM
1 mom liked this

Try to take some time for yourself mama. *hugs* That's all I can recommend.

leahbeah143
by Leah on Sep. 15, 2011 at 7:31 PM

 Can his dad watch him for a couple hours so you can get out of the house?

davidjames
by on Nov. 29, 2011 at 3:31 AM

I don't trust the, dad, with our son. He comes over once or twice a week and either is messing with his phone or he brings his computer and when I ask him to help with David (our son) he says, Why cant you do it? or I dont want to. etc.  so Leaving David with him is a dangrous idea and I just can't do it. This guy has proven to me over the past few months that he really doesn't care and he is still acting like a child even though he will soon be 21 years old. Honestly... i am so lost on what to do. 

matreshka
by on Nov. 29, 2011 at 7:50 AM

can you get WIC, they have many resources at some of the better offices, like support groups and help finding work.

Quoting davidjames:

I don't trust the, dad, with our son. He comes over once or twice a week and either is messing with his phone or he brings his computer and when I ask him to help with David (our son) he says, Why cant you do it? or I dont want to. etc.  so Leaving David with him is a dangrous idea and I just can't do it. This guy has proven to me over the past few months that he really doesn't care and he is still acting like a child even though he will soon be 21 years old. Honestly... i am so lost on what to do. 


davidjames
by on Dec. 23, 2011 at 3:04 AM

I am on WIC right now, but that doesn't really do much, and my family knows I am depression but they don't really understand what depression is or how serious it is, they always have said it will get better or it will go away in time etc etc etc. 

krystaldawn_21
by Bronze Member on Dec. 23, 2011 at 3:21 AM
Maybe find a therapist to talk to as well as ask your parents to watch your son for a few hours to take time for yourself. I had my first at 18 but by then I was done with going out and being out late. I did however want time for myself so I would ask my mom or my dh (my childrens father) to watch my ds while I took a nap and/or shower. That was my me time.:) Hugs momma and congrats on the new baby!!
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