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Depression Support Center Depression Support Center

Depressed with no support system

Posted by on Nov. 4, 2011 at 10:55 AM
  • 28 Replies
2 moms liked this

I can't snap out of the depression and no one seems to understad or care.  I never realized how selfish everyone is until I try and talk to them about what I'm going through and the conversation keeps turning back around to everyone else.  Last night I told my best friend that I have been depressed.  She is, of course, pregnant like every other woman in my life besides me!  She told me I have 9 days to snap out of it because that is when I am hosting her baby shower and she doesn't want me acting like this on "her day".  I could have smacked her.  Obviously I will put on my best face for her shower but I'm asking for help now.  I'm hoping she's acting like a brat because she's pregnant and her hormones are raging but if it doesn't get better after she has the baby, I don't know if she can stay in my life.  I just don't know how to get through to people about how I'm feeling and how to make myself feel better.  I feel so alone

by on Nov. 4, 2011 at 10:55 AM
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Replies (1-10):
Naturewoman4
by on Nov. 4, 2011 at 11:13 AM
Im so sorry. Do u have family? Maybe, talking to a therapist would help. Meanwhile, you have us here. That did sound awfully rude of your friend. Maybe, just do your best & see how she is after the shower. If she is still like that, just tell her about it. IF she doesnt respond kindly, I would distance myself. Its not helpful to have negative ppl in your life. Sometimes friendships need to take a break.
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leahbeah143
by Leah on Nov. 4, 2011 at 12:34 PM

 my bff is the same way. I try to talk to her about things that have been going on and she always manages to turn the conversation back to her and her problems. I've given up trying to talk to her about anything because I always just end up mad. Have you tried counseling? hugs!

jacksonemily
by on Nov. 4, 2011 at 12:39 PM

I want to try counseling but we are newlyweds and our funds were used up for the wedding.  We also go on our honeymoon in Feb. so are saving for that.  I'm broke, bored and depressed.  LOL.  Bad combination.  I know I have so much to be happy/thankful for but I can't seem to snap out of it.  TTC sucks!

matreshka
by Ruby Member on Nov. 4, 2011 at 3:14 PM
1 mom liked this

(((hugs))) i'm sorry you're bff reacted that way.  there are support groups for depression that are free and sliding scale therapists.  Of course you can talk to anyone of us here.  depression isn't something someone can snap out of but there is a lot we can do to help.  I like using cognitive behavioral workbooks.  i started with my therapist and then bought others online at amazon.com.

momma2bubbas
by on Nov. 4, 2011 at 10:04 PM

if you truly have depression, you cannot

simply snap out of it.

so many ppl confuse the term "sad" or "blue'

with depression --a real chemical imbalance.

and ppl who truly do NOT have it, cant seem to understand

it. but they need to try esp if the person with it is close to them.

it is just like any other disease. of course there are things we can

do to make us feel better, but it is always there, some days worse than

others. then there are those who are AFRAID  of it, and deny they

may have it. it does NOT mean you are crazy, as many ignorant

ppl may want you to believe. AND it varies SO much from person

to person.

m.

Quoting jacksonemily:

I can't snap out of the depression and no one seems to understad or care.  I never realized how selfish everyone is until I try and talk to them about what I'm going through and the conversation keeps turning back around to everyone else.  Last night I told my best friend that I have been depressed.  She is, of course, pregnant like every other woman in my life besides me!  She told me I have 9 days to snap out of it because that is when I am hosting her baby shower and she doesn't want me acting like this on "her day".  I could have smacked her.  Obviously I will put on my best face for her shower but I'm asking for help now.  I'm hoping she's acting like a brat because she's pregnant and her hormones are raging but if it doesn't get better after she has the baby, I don't know if she can stay in my life.  I just don't know how to get through to people about how I'm feeling and how to make myself feel better.  I feel so alone


rhodaj
by rho on Nov. 4, 2011 at 10:10 PM

 I hate when people says snap out of it. So you are hosting her babyshower. Then she should be one person that you could talk to knowing that you will be doing this.  Yes putting on your best face is something we can do good. But its not fair that you are hosting this and because of your depression you wont have a good time also. I know that you can't gracefully back out. But if someone is helping you with it I would let her do most of it. Also this might help a little with your depression some having fun and being around friends

Good luck and always remember we are here for you

JSCC
by on Nov. 4, 2011 at 11:12 PM

I have thoughts and feelings like this sometimes too ........ and I've had people tell me that I was the one being selfsih by always needing to talk about my problems/that I always have to make everything about me .... I have had one of my best support people tell to no longer call or talk to them about my feelings and problems but only talk to them about other things (basically superficial things).  Sigh.

Dont know what to say to help you, but you're not alone.  It's hard to find good support people ... at least for me; it has to be someone I trust and it takes quite a bit for someone to earn my trust.  Maybe people who are/have dealt with depression are the best because they can understand you better .... maybe a support group?  Otherwise, you always have people on here to turn to

lyrick24
by Ruby Member on Nov. 5, 2011 at 6:26 AM
People who say just snap out of it just don't understand it. Your friend should be willing to listen.is there anyone else you can talk to? You can always talk to us here.
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lucy164
by Peggy on Nov. 5, 2011 at 10:36 AM

a lot of people are ignorant about depression,  they think you can just snap out of it.  what if you wait until she has the baby and settles down a bit,  then you could have a talk about how devestating depression is and you really need to talk about it because it really helps. also there are books about it.  i saw one called depression for dummies.  it would be easy to read and give her the facts rather quickly. i hope this has been some help to you.

flprincessmom
by Member on Nov. 5, 2011 at 12:00 PM

 how insensitive of her to think that depression is something you can just "snap out of" as if it's like a pair of shoes you can just take off and on.....I don't think I would have handled that as nicely as you have...I probably would have smacked her and walked away, even though that would not be the best way to handle it....these days my depression is at a high point......I have no support system, can't go to a therapist and get meds or counseling and am all alone in a city and state of ppl that do not know me......my family does not recognize me or my kids and my mom past away before my 1st was even conceived...so I am truly alone with no help or way to get help.....I feel like crawling into a hole and not coming out.....I was diagnosed PTSD and it seems there is no hope....I try everyday to keep a smile on my face for my kids, but it is getting harder and harder to do....and to add more to the depression, I am financially broke so there will be no Christmas for my kids, and no one to help me with it since they do not have any family involvement of any kind from their father's side nor mine.....it is just us 3, and if I do not do it, it does not get done, they are too young to do anything for themselves and so this just makes my days that much harder.....crying

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