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Depressed with no support system

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I can't snap out of the depression and no one seems to understad or care.  I never realized how selfish everyone is until I try and talk to them about what I'm going through and the conversation keeps turning back around to everyone else.  Last night I told my best friend that I have been depressed.  She is, of course, pregnant like every other woman in my life besides me!  She told me I have 9 days to snap out of it because that is when I am hosting her baby shower and she doesn't want me acting like this on "her day".  I could have smacked her.  Obviously I will put on my best face for her shower but I'm asking for help now.  I'm hoping she's acting like a brat because she's pregnant and her hormones are raging but if it doesn't get better after she has the baby, I don't know if she can stay in my life.  I just don't know how to get through to people about how I'm feeling and how to make myself feel better.  I feel so alone

by on Nov. 4, 2011 at 10:55 AM
Replies (11-20):
by on Nov. 5, 2011 at 12:07 PM

 Just to add fuel to the fire, the same night I yelled at my dogs because they wouldn't get away from me and she said, "Remind me never to let you babysit.  Maybe you should re-think the whole pregnancy test because you're going to be a terrible mother."  And then she laughed it off like a joke.  Do I look like I'm in the mood for a joke like that?  I'm depressed and worried that my womb is barren.  Really f'ing funny!

by Gold Member on Nov. 7, 2011 at 7:22 PM

Shame on her for saying such a thing to you.  That's awful!  HUGS

by on Nov. 7, 2011 at 7:42 PM

that could be me .i have no support system


by on Nov. 7, 2011 at 7:46 PM

First off, what an insensitive human being that calls herself your friend.  Maybe this is why I don't keep friends, but that's just me.  

I am really sorry that you are going through this, but I would try and look for a therapist.  I started going to one 2 weeks ago and it has been helping already.  I am in a similar situation, where no one wants to hear me out, but they feel the need to be all about themselves.  It is really tough.  And it definitely isn't something that you can snap out of.  I have tried SO HARD to do that, and you really just can't.  Maybe for a few hours, put on the smiling face-type deal, but other than that, no.  It's normal.  I hope that you can find a support system that truly will help you get back to being you.  You have all of us here, too :)

by on Nov. 7, 2011 at 9:27 PM

I am in a dialectical behavior therapy class, you can find a book on it for pretty reasonable I have 2 of them now and they were around $15 to $20 each. But it goes through skills that can help a person deal with strong emotions naturally, since you are unable to be medicated at this point something along those lines might be able to help.

One thing that stands out in my mind is opposite action, thats one of the skills for emotion regulation. So since you are stressed and down make an effort to do something to relax and that will envoke happier feelings like watching a comedy.

there are loads of moms around here who are dealing with depression too and though its not quite the same as supportive family and friends there are people here to listen and let you vent and will give ideas of what may help

by on Nov. 8, 2011 at 2:57 AM

My name is Donna, & if you need a support system you have come to the right place. Here you can vent, get advice & learn how to get professional help. So tell me what's going on?
How long have You been feeling this way?
Now understand I am not a professional, just been there myself. I have had a series if health problems, along with a series of personal losses.
I am still trying cope with it all.
Have you talked with your Dr? Have you seen a therapist? I realize that you may not want to talk about it in ther open room so I am gonna give you My email addy.
Talk to you soon.
Have a Blessed Day,

Please email soon so I know your ok Hugs Donna
by Bronze Member on Nov. 8, 2011 at 7:55 AM

Well, you're not alone, not as long as you belong to CafeMom and especially this group.  Everyone has a story to share.  I have a great support system in my friends.  Unfortunately, I'd like that support  to also come from my family.  My mother lives with us, my daughter bounces back and forth between her boyfriend's and home and also in her treatment of me (one minute she's nice and talking, the next she is indifferent and verbally abusive), my husband, that's a whole other story.  These are the three who are around me the most.  None of them really "get it."  I had a nervous breakdown, almost died, was hospitalized, and still suffer from depression and anxiety.  I'm on meds.,see a psychiatrist and psychologist regularly, and get ECT (shock treatment) every 8 weeks.  My point is, not to diminish your needs, but to offer you support here.  Journaling about your feelings is recommended to recognize and deal with your inner self.  I do that here on CafeMom.  There are more support groups and good people on here to seek out advice from.  It's very hard to explain to others how you feel, especially when it's not a physical disability that they can see.  Concentrate on yourself first and foremost.  Put your needs ahead of everybody else's.  It's not easy to do, but you are important and have this right as a human being!

by on Nov. 8, 2011 at 8:49 AM
1 mom liked this

 I have battled depression when I was younger.  I feel I am unable to handle things when they do not go my way.  I don't like situations I cannot control.  My husband and I are trying to have a baby.  It's been six months now with some health issues that have made me pretty sick.  I am so tired of dealing with not feeling well and constantly wondering if we're pregnant.  Every time I get a negative pregnancy test or get my period I feel like I fall further into a depression.  No one understands, not even my husband.  I just get told to relax and enjoy life and not let it bother me.  Of course, that makes sense and I've told myself that, but it isn't working.  I want to keep trying to have a baby but I don't know how to do it without feeling this way.  I just feel lost and confused.  Then I feel guilty because I know this isn't a huge problem.  I have a great life and lots to be thankful for so I should feel better.  But to me, this does feel huge.

Quoting Grandmax2Momof4:

My name is Donna, & if you need a support system you have come to the right place. Here you can vent, get advice & learn how to get professional help. So tell me what's going on?
How long have You been feeling this way?
Have you talked with your Dr? Have you seen a therapist?


by on Nov. 8, 2011 at 11:31 AM

I am so sorry that you are dealing with this. I am also in the same situation and I know how it feels. My DH thinks that I should just "snap" out of it. I hope that you find some support and I always here if you need/want to talk.

by on Nov. 8, 2011 at 1:05 PM

 Thanks everyone!  I feel better today but I think that is because I got my period so now I don't have to wonder/try right now.  Trying to get pregnant has been the biggest emotional rollercoaster that I've ever had to deal with.  I appreciate all the support that I have found on this site.  I see my doctor tomorrow for a recheck on a pelvic infection and I'm going to explain to her how I'm feeling and see if she has any suggestions.  I'm sure she has a lot of patients that feel the same way as me.  Thank you, thank you, thank you!  I'm on the brink so I'm sure I'll be down again soon.

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