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Need some support!

Posted by on Nov. 9, 2011 at 6:05 PM
  • 2 Replies

I am a stay at home Mom, I run an in home daycare and I can no longer continue pretend like I am happy when I am not. When I was 10 years old I lost my mom to cancer. When that happened something inside of me died. When it happened i became an emotional eater and gained weight until I met my now fiance. When we first started dating I lost alot of weight and was happy with myself and learned how to live with my life. I pushed all of my problems aside and moved on. The i ended up pregnant and gained alot of weight and havent been able to lose it. No matter what diet and excersize program I try, now that i finally realize what is wrong I have to get it figured out before I can move forward with losing weight. I need to figure out my emotional self before I can do anything. I need someone to talk to who can talk to me and help me figure out why I turn to food all the time. No matter what I do or how i feel i always turn to food.  If anyone can point me in the right direction as to where i can go or who I can talk to i will appreciate it.

by on Nov. 9, 2011 at 6:05 PM
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Replies (1-2):
Niborcb
by on Nov. 9, 2011 at 7:01 PM
If you are a Christian I highly recommend reading the book Made To Crave by Lysa Terkuerst which helped me discover why I was emotionally overeating. Starting in January there will be a free online study of this book by Melissa Taylor of Proverbs 31 Ministries. And there is a real supportive group here on Cafe Mom called Healthy Weightloss. I was doing real good on my weightloss until this summer when my depression got real bad. Now I'm stalled. I feel your pain because I started emotionally eating again.
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DAHLONEGAMOMMY
by on Nov. 9, 2011 at 7:10 PM

Sweetie, you turn to food for the same reason others turn to alcohol or worse. It is your way to feel in control. You couldnt control what happened to your mom. You needed something to make you feel warm and safe and food is what makes you feel that way. It is your way of grounding yourself. It is a comfort measure. It is sad that you didnt get some grief counseling when your mother pased. It would have helped tremendously. I can only imagine you were scared and alone when she passed away. Obviously no one took the time to check on you as far as how you were reacting. Or maybe they did but at ten years old it would have been difficult for you to be able to truly verbalize what you were feeling. No matter how guilty you may feel afterward, I bet you get a calm feeling when you over eat. The life that goes on around you can be total chaos and out of your hands to do anything. However, when that happens you take your comfort food and it allows you to zone out and focus on one thing. You should see if there is a grief support group in your area. It doesnt matter how much time may have passed since your mother passed away. The issue is that you have unresolved grief and fear that has stayed with you all this time because you subconsciously couldnt let it go and consciously couldnt face it. It will do you a world of good to be able to talk about everything you felt baclk then and this time you will have the advantage of maturity to express yourself better. As the burden of that fear and grief lift, so will the need to have the comfort of food as a way to self medicate. Good Luck. You will be fine. 

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