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I feel betrayed

Posted by on Jan. 15, 2012 at 10:05 PM
  • 9 Replies

As you may know, I have HUGE problems with all my ILs.  Well, DH has been talking to SIL behind my back.  Mostly in texts, but today he went and saw her.  He wasn't going to tell me, but I caught him and confronted him about it.  We didn't argue, but I don't know how to tell him how I feel.  Plus it seems like he's hiding stuff from me all the time now.  He sleeps with his cell in his pocket (he sleeps in shorts).  I asked about it and he said it's not new, that he's done it before.  Sorry, I don't remember it happening before.  I don't want to fight, but I want this to stop.  I had a problem with my ex BF lying to me and hiding things and it feels like it all over again.  I can't stop crying and stressing over it.

CafeMom Tickers
by on Jan. 15, 2012 at 10:05 PM
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Replies (1-9):
titajaz
by on Jan. 15, 2012 at 11:44 PM
Wow it seems that my giy was doing the same buull crap wht his fon untill yesterday he felt asleep took it and chec it out n gusss wut he was lying too my face n cheated me hiw I always say it lies will open sonner or later know I mada him feel like shitttt he kept begging me not too leave him kuz he wanted meee n kept saying im not going too belive no word that cones out of his mouth
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titajaz
by on Jan. 15, 2012 at 11:45 PM
N im sorry that we womwan have to go through this bull shit t n sori for the bad words its just that im mad
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Elayna90
by on Jan. 16, 2012 at 4:33 AM
Talk to him about how even if he doesn't feel like he's hiding things, to you it seems like it. Explain what he does that makes you feel that way. Give him a chance to give you his point of view. Then talk about what you can both do to try and change that.
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XOXOArmyWife
by on Jan. 16, 2012 at 4:36 AM
I'd be so hurt and upset over that but I think he's obviously hiding stuff and doing things you do not like. I'm sorry you have to deal with that :(
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matreshka
by on Jan. 16, 2012 at 6:32 AM

I would talk to him about it and tell him how you made you feel in a calm rational way.  The fact that he is hiding stuff is worrysome. did his sister do something to you?  My IL's have been a bit shitty to me but I  know they ar DH's family and when they want to talk to him i just let it be. I even made up with MIL so I know its possible.  ((Hugs)))

lyrick24
by Group Admin on Jan. 16, 2012 at 7:07 AM

 i can understand your frustration. i dont understand why he feels like he needs to sleep with his phone in his pocket e ither. i would wonder about that. are there any other signs he might be cheating? you cant really say anything about him going to see his sister because thats his family. just pay attention to everything he is doing for a while.

syoumans77
by on Jan. 16, 2012 at 12:30 PM

I don't think he's cheating on me.  It's just talking to his family behind my back.  SIL did do some stuff to me.  She's called me names (to my face, on facebook and behind my back), she borrowed $541 (to pay off her court fines) and took almost 2 years to pay it back (I took her to small claims court to get it).  She is just as toxic as her mother and father.  She tells DH that he should be with this one or that one instead of me.  He obviously chose me for a reason and not those others.  He doesn't tell her that crap about the loser she's with (he's married to another woman and has 4 kids by 3 different women).  She had a 1 year old and got pregnant again after finding out that I was, just because she had to have the newest baby.  Not that it matters, none of them are EVER going to see DD.  I just hate them all so much and DH doesn't seem to understand my hatred for them.  Honestly, if they all died today, I wouldn't cry.  I wouldn't be sad.  I would feel as if a huge burden has been taken off my plate.  I may not be as depressed as I am.  I'm still afraid that he's going to go off on one of his secretive trips and take DD with him even though I have told him that I don't want them to have anything to do with her.  I love him, but honestly I think the only way to get them out of my life is to move down to my parents house in SC with DD and leave him.  I hate to say that, but it may come to it. 

Thanks for all your support!

MomTiara19
by on Jan. 16, 2012 at 2:09 PM
1 mom liked this

Hi,

I am so sorry this is happening to you

But I have to tell you like a good friend once told me.

Get a back bone girl.

Tell your dh  this crap needs to stop and it needs to stop now.

Tell your sis inlaw to step back.

He sounds like a cheating,conniving immature man.

Trust is everything in a marriage.

If he doesnt shape up...take your kids and ship out.

Noone deserves to be treated this way.

Goodluck,

~Tia

syoumans77
by on Jan. 16, 2012 at 3:27 PM

One other thing that SIL did is that right after we got married she told him that no one could ever love him the way that she does.  If that doesn't turn your stomach than I don't know what will. 

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