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May be a bit off, b/c still pregnant, but seems the best place to start?

Posted by on Feb. 4, 2012 at 4:47 PM
  • 7 Replies

Well, to start off, I'm almost 23 weeks, and wondering about finding other moms/mom to be's to talk to, relate to, offer/recieve advice/support and such from.

I have a son, Damiean, who just turned 2 in November. My boyfriend (of sorts) just moved in with us, and we are expecting June 4th (anniversary of my dad's passing..) It has been a bumpy road, and continues to be. This was not a planned baby, but both sides of the family couldnt be more happy. By both sides I mean his side, and my mother, which is a story of itself. 

Anyways.. lately I have been throughly feeling depressed and down, nothing really helps. Maybe its just hormones (didnt get it with my son, hoping it means it a girl!!???!?!) and maybe its just the emotions left over between me and the father. We had a history, years ago, and I can honestly say I never imagined this happeneing! Not because I didnt want it to, but due to our.. ahem.. relationship, or lack thereof..

I guess my question here is, I know some women suffer from postpartum after birth, but can it affect you before birth?? With my son, I had no worries, no hormones driving me bonkers, no stress or anything.. now I don't even recongnize the person I have become, and worry that it will affect not only my son, and my partner, but the baby when it comes, and mostly, me.. 

Advice, suggestions, thoughts? 

I am involved in some mother groups here in town, but find them good information for the children, but not too helpful for me.. guess I am just tired of feeling so alone and empty, even when my partner tries. And he does try, I love him for that, but I just cant put it into words.. He asks, and I just cry, or brush it off. I havent slept in a while, anything decent at least. Anything, any sign, would help. Thanks in advance..

by on Feb. 4, 2012 at 4:47 PM
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Replies (1-7):
by on Feb. 4, 2012 at 4:55 PM
I was incredibly depressed when pregnant with my son. Like, more than I have ever been before. I hope you figure out something to make you feel better :(
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by on Feb. 4, 2012 at 5:00 PM

Yea? I have tried talking to friends, and just get "This is supposed to be a happy time, why are you depressed?" With my son I was happy and glowing and the definition of a perfect pregnant lady.. now I just feel ... liek crap. 

Thanks for the reply :)

by on Feb. 4, 2012 at 5:05 PM
Yes. I was more depressed when preggo w my son than any other time! And no one talks about it, so of course I thought it was either normal, or I was just flat out nuts (depending on the day)
I remember in the delivery room right after he was born, I felt so much better. It was crazy. I was the perfect preggo lady with my daughter though, but had worse ppd.
I can say it gets better. Congrats, babies are blessings, even when they are surprising!
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by Leah on Feb. 4, 2012 at 5:12 PM


by on Feb. 5, 2012 at 4:40 PM
Have you talked to your ob/gyn? I'm sure he has had experience with other women in this situation. He may also be able to recommend a therapist that can help you deal with these issues and emotions. That would be my recommendation, to talk to a professional. My son's due date was on the day my first husband committed suicide. My ob just changed it to another day. Babies usually aren't born on their due date so try not to stress about that. BTW, my son was two weeks overdue anyway.
by on Feb. 6, 2012 at 1:03 PM

Yea I have tried to talk to some people, though keep getting referals to places I feel odd man out... will ask for something one on one maybe though.. And I would actually kind of feel better if the baby was born on its due date... it sounds weird, but I hadn't seen my dad for years (since I was 18) when my son was born, and I found out the morning he was born, that my dad had passed.. so having the second baby born on that day would kind of give me a bit of comfort, like he is here with me, through my children. Either way...

Thank you ladies again! :)

by on Feb. 6, 2012 at 9:17 PM

I was not depressed with my first son, but once I had him I developed depression and anxiety. I still have it, but when I got preggo with my twins in 2009...well, I had to go on Buspar to help me. I was so anxious about their impending birth and how we were going to financially make it. Is there something underlying with the birth or is it just the unresolved feelings from the past? Seeking some therapy might help with sorting those feelings out. Maybe by putting those people and feelings into categories would help you see things in a different light.

There is nothing wrong with your feelings. I sometimes feel that emptiness and my kids and husband are my life. I couldn't ask for a better man and father. He is everything to me. I cope each and everyday and pray that the day will be good. Maybe ask your doc about some meds or even if you can take some Vitamin D.

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