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Okay so...it's time to be honest.

Posted by on Feb. 8, 2012 at 1:46 AM
  • 7 Replies

I am terrified to say this but I need to. I feel like it's gotten so much worse and it's past time to get help. In advance, sorry about typos. I am really nervous. 


I am incredibly depressed. I am so sad all the time and I can't keep swollowing my feelings and pushing them away. I need professional help. I cry all the time, I am always irritable, and anxious, sad, distant, and just....my life feels foggy. I have moments of happiness but they don't last long. It's gotten bad and is affecting my life, and my relationship. My fiance has helped me to the farthest point and beyond that and I can't keep putting this pressure on him. 

I feel like I need to talk to a therapist or some kind of councilor but I am terrified. I am so scared of being judged. Honestly....I just...I can't do this anymore and I need help. I tried a therapist in high school (I was forced to because I attempted suicide when I was 17) and it didn't go so well. I felt like the woman judged me and she wasn't friendly, or made me feel safe like it was okay to talk about how I feel so I am pretty nervous and scared to try again. Is there anything else I can do? 

I also don't have insurance, and our income is low. We don't have much money for other expenses besides the things we absolutely need. It took a lot out of me to post this so please help. 

I have heard about perhaps a church, but I am agnostic and that isn't really an option. 

by on Feb. 8, 2012 at 1:46 AM
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Replies (1-7):
bascha
by on Feb. 8, 2012 at 1:55 AM
1 mom liked this
I was in the same boat a few months ago. The irritability, the hopelessness, the frustration and hurt. I was a mess. I was also resistant to therapy because of a negative experience that I had with one at 14, when my mother forced me to go. But, after DH walked in and found me getting ready to swallow every pill in the house, I finally agreed to look into it. It took me another month or two to actually do it. This past Friday was my last session with my counselor, since we're moving out of the area. I got him a card. I cried. I thanked him for helping me find myself again. It has truly been the best thing that I've ever done for myself. Only you will know when it's time to get started with it, and it's okay to "test drive" a few counselors before you find one that works for you. But, you'll find yourself wondering why in the world you waited so long. It's amazing. I'm rediscovering talents and interests that I thought I had lost years ago.
I hope you know that you're not alone at all. There are lots of us here who have been where you are now, and I bet most of us are more than willing to listen, if you need us to. We know how important a quiet set of ears (or eyes) can be. :)
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witch_e_woman
by on Feb. 8, 2012 at 1:59 AM
Hi hun, first take a deep breath. Things will be alright. If your low income you can call your local mental health clinic in your community & pay on a sliding scale fee. The pay could be as little as$5.00 a visit or less depending on your "households" monthly income. I used to have to do this before I got on state aid because I was accepted for SSI. So please check out your local mental health community. Explain to the INTAKE Therapist how you were treated before & all your fears about that experience & this one your about to partake on w/this new Therapist as well too.
Good luck.
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hottmommi42
by on Feb. 8, 2012 at 2:47 AM

call your county's health department. they may be able to point you in a direction. A good church will take your views into consideration and help you find what you need. Is there a clinic in your area? Call around and see if there is a one person practice and see if they will slide their fee for you. I know that spot, and it's an ugly one. It does get better, but only with help. I had to go to three different drs before I found one that I was really comfy with. Remember, alot of the judged feeling is because you know that you need help. I know there are some terrible counselors, but I promise there is the perfect one out there waiting to help you. 

mrstheriault
by on Feb. 8, 2012 at 2:52 AM

i would suggest talking to your hospital if you can. they have counsellors for nearly everything (at least the ones around me do) or they can refer you somewhere and you can get help with financial aide and such if you ask around, all there. they don't judge, they've seen it all, and you'll be better off bringing yourself in saying you need help to get help, rather than brought in because of something drastic. i was diagnosed with depression, and while i've fought that, i still struggle with nasty anxiety. find your comforts. get the help you need. good luck to you and i hope things can turn around for you soon. 

MomofJJS
by on Feb. 8, 2012 at 4:30 AM

Maybe check your area for support groups! Some places are incomed base!  Some local woman shelters have outpatient groups or classes.   Hope this helps!

DeeDee_28
by on Feb. 8, 2012 at 4:42 AM
1 mom liked this
If you're low income you should go to your local welfare office and apply for medical assistance. That would help you with the cost of seeking professional help. If you don't want to talk to anyone there are several different things you can do. Try to stay busy, it will help keep your mind from wondering. Get a notebook and write down all your feelings each time you're feeling down. I found this site that gives you a couple different audio clips for when you're feeling nervous or anxious. WWW.ExcelAtLife.com check it out if you get a chance. But remember that talking to people and express how you're feeling will help towards your recovery. I struggle with anxiety and I'm trying to work thru this on my own without medication. Every day i feel like I make a little progress so it makes me excited for my future. Good luck with everything. If you ever want to talk, I'll listen :)
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lyrick24
by Group Admin on Feb. 8, 2012 at 5:47 AM

 see what the resources are in your area. if they offer free or reduced rate counseling. and you dont have to keep a counselor if you dont like them. you can ask for another. get someone you like. it sounds like they will probably refer you to a psychiatrist but they will know some resources you can go through to possibly not have to pay anything except for your meds. good luck and im sorry you are feeling so bad.

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