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Depressed, Stressed, and I don't have patience anymore :(

Posted by on Feb. 8, 2012 at 2:05 PM
  • 18 Replies


 I have been depressed since I was 13 years old. From 13 to now I have been taking depression meds and been going to counseling on and off. I saw one last year and I stopped since I became pregnant. When I got the morning sickness before I found out I was pregnant I was very depressed and didn't want to do anything. Things got better for me when I was in my 2nd trimester. During my pregnancy my OB put me on depression meds and she told me it was safe to take during my pregnancy. Anyway been taking this meds up till my son was born. I ran out after a week later and I became a new mom. Before I had a child I thought that I wasn't going to be a good mom. I told my husband I didn't want any kids because I am not good at it and I will end up being a horrable mom. So finally we agreed to have a kid and since he has been born, my life hasn't been the same anymore and I knew that was going to happen. I have been cursing alot, I lost my patence with everything, I have been very depressed again. I am very stressed out with this whole mother thing and he is only a month old. People say its going to get better. I hope so because I feel like my life is pretty much over and i have nothing going for me. Yesterday went to the drs because I had a huge pantic attack because I didn't know what to do with my son who has been crying alot. So he saw me and him and they put me on meds. I just hope to get better. 

I get very depressed because I get very jelous alot of everyone. I wouldn't know that person I get very jelous. I am jelous of my friends and family members. They have more going for them and not me. People say plan your life think postive well for me I feel like I have this horrable bad spell on me since I was born. I feel like there is somoene out there that doesn't like me and put a bad spell on me. To me they seem like they get everything they wanted. I went to high school got my diploma and went to college got my asscoiates degree in photography. Well where em I? Home being a stay home mom. I want to make money. The jobs I have before are all retail and I am sick of that. I just want a job what I went to school for photography. I have friends who didn't get a degree in photography and they make good business more then me. Not just that, my friends and family seem they can get into a good career and make money because they are good at it. The only thing I am good at is photography. Its not just that. I get jelous of my female friends and family members. They are much prettier then I am and have nice figure. Me on the other hand looking nothing like them. Short and fat. Why is it so hard to burn the fat off? I feel like nothing goes right and I have to work 10xs harder then other people. My sister who is skinny and much prettier then me. Thats how I feel anyways. No matter what she wears it looks good on her. Same goes with my female cousins. I have a cousin who is modeling and I get jeouls of her because she has the looks and she is doing something with her life and I have nothing. Sorry I just need to vent about my feelings. I have no friends and have no one to talk to. My husband is in the Army and he hardly home so I can't talk to him anymore. He works on weekends as well. I might as well talk to my dog about my problems :(   

(if this doesn't make any sense of what I am saying forgive me. I am holding my son in my arms because he doesn't cry when he is held)

by on Feb. 8, 2012 at 2:05 PM
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Replies (1-10):
savvymom0811
by on Feb. 8, 2012 at 3:00 PM

I am so sorry you feel this way about yourself. I don't know you, but i know that everything about you can't be bad. I hope you find a way to see the good.

hottmommi42
by on Feb. 8, 2012 at 3:18 PM
You really need to consider taking meds again, imo. Becoming a mother is one of the things in life that changes you the most, and without a proper support system you won't even feel like you can adjust. Talk to your Dr at your 6 week, and tell them exactly how you feel. It's not normal, but it is common. I remember those exact same feelings! I literally felt like I just needed to pack up and leave, my son didn't deserve a mom like me, and my dh didn't deserve a crazy wife. Things got better within a week of me taking meds.
I am so sorry that this transition has been so hard! I am sure you really are a wonderful mother. I know this because poor mothers don't know they are short tempered, and sad, and angry. You have the heart for it, I promise!
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hottmommi42
by on Feb. 8, 2012 at 3:19 PM
Also, get a moby wrap. Baby wearing is great for mommies and babies. Not a ring sling or a jellybean sling, those are dangerous. YouTube info buds on how to wear them. You will be amazing! Promise!
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Butterflysky_24
by on Feb. 8, 2012 at 4:42 PM
1 mom liked this
It sounds like you need to wait for the new meds to kick in. Having a baby is very hard on anyone, even someone who doesn't have depression. Someone who already was depressed can have an even harder time with it. You shouldn't let yourself run out of your meds and go off cuz it makes it even worse. Also for the job thing just remember babies need their mommies and you still have the rest of your life to accomplish something. Just cuz ur staying home now doesn't mean it has to be forever
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ElizabethB83
by on Feb. 8, 2012 at 5:20 PM


Quoting hottmommi42:

You really need to consider taking meds again, imo. Becoming a mother is one of the things in life that changes you the most, and without a proper support system you won't even feel like you can adjust. Talk to your Dr at your 6 week, and tell them exactly how you feel. It's not normal, but it is common. I remember those exact same feelings! I literally felt like I just needed to pack up and leave, my son didn't deserve a mom like me, and my dh didn't deserve a crazy wife. Things got better within a week of me taking meds.
I am so sorry that this transition has been so hard! I am sure you really are a wonderful mother. I know this because poor mothers don't know they are short tempered, and sad, and angry. You have the heart for it, I promise!

since i gave birth to end of Jan things were a blurr not sure if that has anything to do having surgery (c section) and become a new mom so fast, i remember now before i left the hospial i asked the nurses that i am running out of depression meds can they give me more before i leave. they asked me what kind and i told them. i repeated it like 4 times to them. so anyway getting dishared from the hospial i pick up my meds from the pharamcy. they gave me birth control pills, pain meds, vitiamins, stool softner and relized they forgot my depression meds. since my baby cries alot pretty much 24/7 its so hard to talk to anyone on the phone he is so loud. monday that just past having anxity. i put him his crib while he was screeming his head off i started to cry and stepped outside and made that phone call to see why he is crying so much and they wanted to check him out and me out and put me back on. I am going to get palivic exam from my ob (next tuesday) who i have been seeing during my pregnancy and she decribed those meds to me during my pregnancy and i am planning to tell her whats been going on as well since i havent seen here 2 days before i gave birth. i felt bad to my husband since he has more paticence then i do, and me i give up easily. i have been bitcy towards him and i know thats not fair. I feel like i am a horrable wife and a mom.  i know he is a baby a month old i dont say this out loud but i say this under my breath or in a different room when he is crying so much and there isnt much i can do anymore "come on Ian what do you want" i feel very horrable for saying that even not to his face.

ElizabethB83
by on Feb. 8, 2012 at 5:21 PM


Quoting hottmommi42:

Also, get a moby wrap. Baby wearing is great for mommies and babies. Not a ring sling or a jellybean sling, those are dangerous. YouTube info buds on how to wear them. You will be amazing! Promise!

where can you get those? :) thanks

hottmommi42
by on Feb. 8, 2012 at 5:36 PM
1 mom liked this

See! You are right where you belong. "Bad" moms don't put their babies down. YOU ARE AMAXZING! Things will get better. Can you call the pharmacy and see if you can still pick up the meds? Glad you are going to your dr, it will get better, I know it's foggy. You are on the right path!

Quoting ElizabethB83:


Quoting hottmommi42:

You really need to consider taking meds again, imo. Becoming a mother is one of the things in life that changes you the most, and without a proper support system you won't even feel like you can adjust. Talk to your Dr at your 6 week, and tell them exactly how you feel. It's not normal, but it is common. I remember those exact same feelings! I literally felt like I just needed to pack up and leave, my son didn't deserve a mom like me, and my dh didn't deserve a crazy wife. Things got better within a week of me taking meds.
I am so sorry that this transition has been so hard! I am sure you really are a wonderful mother. I know this because poor mothers don't know they are short tempered, and sad, and angry. You have the heart for it, I promise!

since i gave birth to end of Jan things were a blurr not sure if that has anything to do having surgery (c section) and become a new mom so fast, i remember now before i left the hospial i asked the nurses that i am running out of depression meds can they give me more before i leave. they asked me what kind and i told them. i repeated it like 4 times to them. so anyway getting dishared from the hospial i pick up my meds from the pharamcy. they gave me birth control pills, pain meds, vitiamins, stool softner and relized they forgot my depression meds. since my baby cries alot pretty much 24/7 its so hard to talk to anyone on the phone he is so loud. monday that just past having anxity. i put him his crib while he was screeming his head off i started to cry and stepped outside and made that phone call to see why he is crying so much and they wanted to check him out and me out and put me back on. I am going to get palivic exam from my ob (next tuesday) who i have been seeing during my pregnancy and she decribed those meds to me during my pregnancy and i am planning to tell her whats been going on as well since i havent seen here 2 days before i gave birth. i felt bad to my husband since he has more paticence then i do, and me i give up easily. i have been bitcy towards him and i know thats not fair. I feel like i am a horrable wife and a mom.  i know he is a baby a month old i dont say this out loud but i say this under my breath or in a different room when he is crying so much and there isnt much i can do anymore "come on Ian what do you want" i feel very horrable for saying that even not to his face.


hottmommi42
by on Feb. 8, 2012 at 5:38 PM

http://www.mobywrap.com/

But these ones are expensive. You can try amazon, or local used kids shops. My sister made one, but I personally wouldn't. If you are a good sewer you probably could too. (I don't trust my skills yet) 

Quoting ElizabethB83:


Quoting hottmommi42:

Also, get a moby wrap. Baby wearing is great for mommies and babies. Not a ring sling or a jellybean sling, those are dangerous. YouTube info buds on how to wear them. You will be amazing! Promise!

where can you get those? :) thanks


ElizabethB83
by on Feb. 8, 2012 at 5:51 PM

today is my second day taking them :)


Quoting hottmommi42:

See! You are right where you belong. "Bad" moms don't put their babies down. YOU ARE AMAXZING! Things will get better. Can you call the pharmacy and see if you can still pick up the meds? Glad you are going to your dr, it will get better, I know it's foggy. You are on the right path!

Quoting ElizabethB83:


Quoting hottmommi42:

You really need to consider taking meds again, imo. Becoming a mother is one of the things in life that changes you the most, and without a proper support system you won't even feel like you can adjust. Talk to your Dr at your 6 week, and tell them exactly how you feel. It's not normal, but it is common. I remember those exact same feelings! I literally felt like I just needed to pack up and leave, my son didn't deserve a mom like me, and my dh didn't deserve a crazy wife. Things got better within a week of me taking meds.
I am so sorry that this transition has been so hard! I am sure you really are a wonderful mother. I know this because poor mothers don't know they are short tempered, and sad, and angry. You have the heart for it, I promise!

since i gave birth to end of Jan things were a blurr not sure if that has anything to do having surgery (c section) and become a new mom so fast, i remember now before i left the hospial i asked the nurses that i am running out of depression meds can they give me more before i leave. they asked me what kind and i told them. i repeated it like 4 times to them. so anyway getting dishared from the hospial i pick up my meds from the pharamcy. they gave me birth control pills, pain meds, vitiamins, stool softner and relized they forgot my depression meds. since my baby cries alot pretty much 24/7 its so hard to talk to anyone on the phone he is so loud. monday that just past having anxity. i put him his crib while he was screeming his head off i started to cry and stepped outside and made that phone call to see why he is crying so much and they wanted to check him out and me out and put me back on. I am going to get palivic exam from my ob (next tuesday) who i have been seeing during my pregnancy and she decribed those meds to me during my pregnancy and i am planning to tell her whats been going on as well since i havent seen here 2 days before i gave birth. i felt bad to my husband since he has more paticence then i do, and me i give up easily. i have been bitcy towards him and i know thats not fair. I feel like i am a horrable wife and a mom.  i know he is a baby a month old i dont say this out loud but i say this under my breath or in a different room when he is crying so much and there isnt much i can do anymore "come on Ian what do you want" i feel very horrable for saying that even not to his face.



ElizabethB83
by on Feb. 8, 2012 at 8:11 PM


oh yea i have seen those when i go food shopping and wanted one when i was pregnant. they seem hard to put together. I can't sew eaither. sometimes I wish I could to make it easier :) thanks so much for your help


sorry it took awhile to respond back dealing with a crying baby for 4 hours now :( i don't know what he wants


Quoting hottmommi42:

http://www.mobywrap.com/

But these ones are expensive. You can try amazon, or local used kids shops. My sister made one, but I personally wouldn't. If you are a good sewer you probably could too. (I don't trust my skills yet) 

Quoting ElizabethB83:


Quoting hottmommi42:

Also, get a moby wrap. Baby wearing is great for mommies and babies. Not a ring sling or a jellybean sling, those are dangerous. YouTube info buds on how to wear them. You will be amazing! Promise!

where can you get those? :) thanks



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You must be a member to reply to this post.
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