This is going to sound weird, but bear with me.
So I just had a baby about 2 weeks ago. I had a birth that didn't go as plan but, it was special to me atleast. I was in labor for 16 hours (was induced due to high bp) and ended up having a C Section. I was find with this because I thought that is what we would end up doing to begin with. Baby was fine at birth, I got to see her, she hear my voice and stopped crying, I bonded with her, it was perfect. However, as I was in recovery, she stopped breathing. They got her back breathing, but, they sent her to an NICU to get everything checked. Turned out to be nothing, she has come home, and is a perfectly healthy new born.
Problem is I find myself thinking about what happened alot. When I think about it, I get upset. That and I am extremely uneasy about her being away from me. I do understand kinda why I feel this way, however, I feel like I am blessed to have her, and I just don't understand why I cannot get over what happened. I mean, everything I was told about having a baby was true, I love her with all my heart, and I would do anything for her. I just don't know why I can't shake these feelings. Sometimes I feel guilty that maybe I didn't eat right, or I should have done this or that better, then other times I just hate thinking about "What Ifs."
Is this normal?