I've been doing some thinking. Something someone said to me in one of my groups really hit me. I recently posted about how I go to the bar, get drunk, sleep with some random guy, then do it all over again, and how I am not satisfied with my life. Her reply was instead of going to the bar, go out, buy something new, enjoy time with my daughter, etc. So, Thursday, I went to the bar with friends. I had an alright time. Then tonight, Friday I went to the bar by myself because I needed to get out of the house and they had karaoke, so I was all in it...but then when I got there, I had one beer and I thought to myself, naaah not tonight. I drank a pop after that, sang a song, and left to go to a friend's house. Then I told him about my thinking and that I am tired of the whole bar scene, and ya know what, I feel better that I didn't get all sloshed and take some random dude home tonight. I have decided to try and focus on the positives and focus on getting moved, my daughter, my life, and getting in to see my dr. and really fixing things with me this time because adding all this in isn't fixing anything. I am thinking about talking to him about getting a good counselor and about changing my meds to Seroquel (because it worked good before despite the bad dreams and weight gain.) So that is the plan...just wanted to share with all of you, but also, let you know that I called low income earlier today and nothing new there. She is still waiting on all of the verifications to come back before she can send my application to corporate. Hopefully soon. Keep praying for me girls. I need it!! And TY for being there when no one else was.