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Depression Support Center Depression Support Center

ALCOHOLIC IN THE MAKING???

Posted by on Apr. 15, 2012 at 10:40 PM
  • 7 Replies

 HI MY NAME IS MANDI I AM A SAHM OF SON 6YR AND 26 WEEKS PREGNANT... I AM CURRENTLY WITH MY "BABYS FATHER" BUT FOR HOW MUCH LONGER....ONLY TIME WILL TELL... HE SAYS HE IS UNDER ALOT OF STRESS (DUE TO THE FACT WE JUST GOT EVICTED AND ARE CURRENTLY LIVING WITH HIS MOTHER AND STEP FATER :/ AND OF COURSE NOW ARE HAVIGN PROBLEMS FINDING A PLACE TO LIVE...WHICH IS ALL UNDERSTANDABLE) WELL ANYWAYS HE STARTED LIGHT DRINKING ON THE WEEKENDS WHICH TURNED TO EVERY OTHER DAY WHICH NOW IS EVERY NIGHT (NOT TO GET DRUNK UNLESS ITS A WEEKEND) SO IM FIGUERING SOON ENOUGH WILL BE HEAVY DRINKING AND I AM AFRAID I CANNOT DEAL WITH THIS DUE TO THE FACT MY FATER IS AN ALCOHOLIC, MY COUSIN WHICH I AM WATCHING HIM SLOWLY DIE IN FRONT OF MY EYES AND I SONT WANT THIS TO HAPPEN TO HIM ME MY SON AND BABY ON THE WAY NEED HIM ...GETTING UPSET ISNT HELPING I TRIED TO TALK TO HIM BUT HE HAS AN EXCUSE EVERYTIME WHICH I REALLY AM TIRED OF.. SO IF YOU HAVE ANY SUGGESTIONS OR IDEAS HOW TO APPROACH HIM TO LET HIM KNOW HE HAS A PROBLEM PLEASE FEEL FREE TO LEAVE COMMENTS THANK U FOR YOUR TIME AND PATIENCE FOR READING MY STORY. I HOPE TO HEAR FROM U SOON.

CafeMom Tickers
by on Apr. 15, 2012 at 10:40 PM
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Replies (1-7):
lyrick24
by Ruby Member on Apr. 16, 2012 at 7:38 AM
1 mom liked this

 talk to him again and again. try to first get him to stop drinking through the week. maybe he can handle that. let him know how bad it would be for your family if he turns into an alcoholic. maybe you can get him to go to an aa meeting and you can go to al-anon.im sure hes under alot of stress but that isnt the way to deal with it.

lucy164
by Peggy on Apr. 16, 2012 at 8:29 AM
1 mom liked this

he should go to aa.

Tracys2
by on Apr. 16, 2012 at 8:53 AM
1 mom liked this

It's very common to want to deal with stress with alcohol, but you're right that it's a bad pattern, especially if he's just drinking more and more. Maybe what he needs is to learn other ways to relieve stress, like a long walk or an active hobby or hang out with friends doing something not drinking (playing board games or sports?) or listen to music or whatever he enjoys that would help him wind down.

I like to take my most stressful day and tell myself "figure how to deal without a drink or a coffee or candy" or whatever my crutch is. And I always can, and then I feel proud and in control. So maybe he only has a drink every other night or whatever at first, till he sees he doesn't need them? I don't know.

One drink a night is OK for most people. My husband has one drink about 3 to 5 nights a week, never drinks to get drunk, and I'm fine with that. But yours seems to be on a path towards more, so if you can turn the path around, he may still be OK. Good luck! I have 2 friends who have had an issue like yours and turned it back to how it used to be- both in the last few years. It can be done.

leahbeah143
by Leah on Apr. 16, 2012 at 9:14 AM
1 mom liked this

Let him know it's making you uncomfortable, and why it makes you feel that way. I grew up in an alcoholic home myself, and my last boyfriend ended up being a severe alcoholic and it caused a lot of problems. But his "one a night" was a case of beer. Try to find an alanon meeting for yourself, it helps a lot.

matreshka
by Ruby Member on Apr. 16, 2012 at 10:11 AM
1 mom liked this

It's hard.  People will only get help when they are ready but you can express your concerns. I was the same way with drinking and I had to hit rock bottom before I quit.  Tell him your concerns, that you care about him and that's why you are concerned about his drinking.

mylilsunshine12
by on Apr. 16, 2012 at 12:58 PM

thank u all so very much for all suggestions and comments im going to go thru and do all i can to make this work cause i love him so and want it to work! so it helps knowing that it can be reversed :)

deltathree
by Gold Member on Apr. 16, 2012 at 6:16 PM

I'd try to tell him your concerns.

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