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just need to talk.... long ...(vent)

Posted by on Apr. 19, 2012 at 10:57 AM
  • 8 Replies
How many of u had a good childhood??? I can honestly say I had a great childhood. I don't think I could think of anything to make it better... So y does my adult life have to be so shitty? I'm 24 I think when my life started to get bad was when I was 15 ... My mom and dad have been married 30 years my dad was that amazing man who always went out of his was to make my mom and me and my brother happy. Well about 7 to 9 years ago he lost his job he worked for the same co. For 25 years I'm not sure of the reason on how he lost time but things went to hell shortly after.... My mom and dad satrted fighting... Out of my whole life till I was about 15 or 16 I have NEVER seen or herd them fight or even argue.. Then my dad started drinking not like bad just a few beers at dinner most I have been around for is maybe 7 but my mom HATES that he drinks they haven't drank in 25 or more years and she knows his dad was a drunk and she's afraid he will end up that way we anyways they fight all the time now when I still lived with them they would get so bad my dad would start hitting himself (weird) at least he wouldn't hit my mom or anyone else I guess but that's just crazy ... Anyways after about 5 years of that its gotten better but not to much he quit hitting himself but there still not happy and get in to fights and arguments dayly.. Well when I was 18 I got married I think I just wanted to get away from all the drama between my mom and day I just couldn't handle it anymore so I rushed into a relationship and jumped into a marrage. I didn't think things through I wish I would have looked at the family better before marrying into it his mom is a psycho and his dad is a 65 year old perv... Anyways we got married at 18 had our DS at 19 I think thinks were good for about a yearfrom the time we got married prego 7 months after and by the time my DS was 4 months I was very unhappy depressed my STBX never kept a job when he lost obe it took almost 3 months to get a new one cus all he wated to do is play his ps3 or sleep well things got bad between me and him at first instead of leaving I cheated on him I guess to see if there ws anything better (sex wise) before I left... Sad thing is the few I did cheat on him with wa no better ... I know I know TMI but sorry no joke ever time was 5 min or less and he never took care of "my needs" so what was the point?... Anyways I finally got the balls to leave him and we was split up for about 2 weeks and he tells me him mom said that I was probably prego the (hormones) making me be like that so that kinda pissed me off I wasn't ready for another one I didn't want no more kidss for awhile well I get a test and guess what say hello to DD well anyways we ended getting back together I don't know y things were still bad but thought hell we now will have 2 kids together idk what I thought would chang he was never a "dad" just a sperm doner he NEVER helpped with them hardly ever played with them the only thing he took dad roll on was when they made him made and he would spank them but that didn't happen often he's a big man I don't think he knows his own strangth to a child so I put a stop to that. well anyways after my kids were 3 and 2 I talked my STBX to moving to a small town I love and we got here in may 2011 he was here 3 weeks had 2 different jobs that didn't work out cus he has a short temper and got fierd then so he said I'm going back to our hometown and gonna try and get my job back so he leave me and my kids to got back to his hometown hoping to get te job he just up and quit back and of course that didn't happen.... I told him if u can't get a job at least paying $10 an hour to come back to his family and try again with a new job here... Well we couldn't get daycare or babysitters I didn't have the money so my parents have been payin my bills since he left .. Its been this long and he just now about 2 months ago got a job that pays $14 an hour the sad this is the kids r now almost 5 and just truned 3 our DS was old enough to know what was going on whan "dad" left so he keeps askin when daddys coming home its very sad I hate it but its not worth it... Anyways he never calls to talk to them never asks how the r doing didn't even remember our DS birthday last july cus it was the same day he was so happy for getting a job at a pizza driver he was in a huRry I told him hey wait tell your son happy birthday asshole. And gets on the phone sez happy birthdat then gets on to him and tells him he needs to quit talkin back to him mom.... He hasn't talked to him in a few weeks and so that being the first thing he sez yea my DS starts cryin ... Anyways its been 10 and my DS is staying with my parents right my DS just yesterday outa no where just tells his uncle (my brother) "I just keep waitin for my dad but he hasent came to see me" its sad he loves his dad and has no idea that he wants nothing to do with them... Of course my STBX blames me he sez he don't talk to them cus I won't let him come back home... I asked him 3 times after he left to come home but didn't now that I had enough he wants to come back NO it don't work that way... My mom just called and said my DS just asked to go by his old house we Used to live in with his dad.... I hatee this for my son my DS was to young when he left she's a mamas girl as long as she has me she don't care... Anyways I want this devorce over already I hate him he's an ass hole... Anyways if u took the time to read this .. thank u and I just wanted to talk I have a Heavy mind and a heavy heart
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by on Apr. 19, 2012 at 10:57 AM
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Replies (1-8):
mrsvixen
by on Apr. 19, 2012 at 11:22 AM

You've gone through alot and I won't lie, it will be hard long road ahead, but you CAN make it work and it will be worth it.

Are you going to school, or getting some kind of training for your future? Is he paying child support?

It's better to be out of toxic relationship, it will also leave you open to finding the one, your suppose to be with.

My DS used to go around saying "My daddy never calls, never sees me, never...."

I told him I love him, his grandparents, his uncle.....

You can also tell DS to ask his father why.....let him explain it.

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momsense2007
by on Apr. 19, 2012 at 1:34 PM
Hoenstly that's not even half I skipped a lot month ...no not at the moment no schooling or nothing and no idk what's going on with the attorney gelrals office I'm waiting for the child support hearing.... And as for DS calling or asking his dad y he will tell him cus moms mean and won't let me come home... I have told my kids that mommy and daddy just couldn't get along we faught all the time and my DS sez I will make daddy be nice I will tell him to be nice to u he will listen to me mommy ... Made me wanna cry

Quoting mrsvixen:

You've gone through alot and I won't lie, it will be hard long road ahead, but you CAN make it work and it will be worth it.

Are you going to school, or getting some kind of training for your future? Is he paying child support?

It's better to be out of toxic relationship, it will also leave you open to finding the one, your suppose to be with.

My DS used to go around saying "My daddy never calls, never sees me, never...."

I told him I love him, his grandparents, his uncle.....

You can also tell DS to ask his father why.....let him explain it.

Posted on CafeMom Mobile
mrsvixen
by on Apr. 19, 2012 at 1:40 PM

I'm sorry, that's really hard, but its better to have one happy parent then two miserable ones.


Perhaps sit DS down and tell him how much you love him and that daddy's being gone is NOT his fault. Perhaps there are books that could explain divorce?

I put my kids in counselling when I left their dad,.

How are you supporting yourself? Is there employment programs you can take through the government?

momsense2007
by on Apr. 19, 2012 at 3:28 PM
My parents have been supporting me and my kids not for much longer tho we r moving ... And I tried getting help with government and they said they can't help me unless I have some kind of income coming in forst even if it was child support but there drgging there asses on that so I can't and I have no friends or family home or close enough to me to babysit

Quoting mrsvixen:

I'm sorry, that's really hard, but its better to have one happy parent then two miserable ones.


Perhaps sit DS down and tell him how much you love him and that daddy's being gone is NOT his fault. Perhaps there are books that could explain divorce?

I put my kids in counselling when I left their dad,.

How are you supporting yourself? Is there employment programs you can take through the government?

Posted on CafeMom Mobile
leahbeah143
by Leah on Apr. 19, 2012 at 3:36 PM

 I had an awesome childhood! We had a huge yard to play in, we lived out in the boonies so we could ride our bikes all over the place, we rode horses whenever we wanted, we built forts, and had a great time! It wasn't until jr high when everything started to go down hill. My mom started drinking a lot, and being at home was uncomfortable. My mom went to rehab when I was 18 and has been sober for 14 years (go mom!) and my parents will have been married 40 years in September.

Me on the other hand, I got married and had my daughter at 19, was divorced by 22. It's been an uphill battle relationship-wise since then. I'm 32 now and still struggle a lot with depression and anxiety. Lately it's been more good days than bad, but I try to stay positive.

Big hugs to you!

matreshka
by on Apr. 19, 2012 at 4:20 PM

I had an alright childhood. My mom was very passive-agressive and if I got in trouble she wouldn't say a word to me for days.  That is probably what affected me the most about my childhood.  I was always closer to my dad. 

lyrick24
by Group Admin on Apr. 19, 2012 at 7:45 PM

 im sorry you are going through so much. be sure to get child support from him. best of luck to you. big hugs!

Luckymom2309
by on Apr. 20, 2012 at 5:25 PM

My childhood wasn't great, but not terrible either. I don't think it taught me anything about how to have relationships with other people because I suck at it. I'm 35 and wonder most days how my adult life got to be so messed up. Not a fun feeling. Anyway, I feel for your DS and you, that is so hard for him to go through and hard for you to explain. I always tell my kids how much they are loved by everyone in their lives, that seems to help.

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