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New here.. Very long...Need support.. Severe PTSD

Posted by on Apr. 25, 2012 at 3:06 PM
  • 8 Replies
Hi everyone I'm heather I will be 25 next year and I used to be a dry active person. I have 2 children 4 and 5.. I've had IBS since I was 16.. Seem days were worse than others.. I learned I couldnt eat anything away form home without getting sick.. Learned the car set it off.. Well I'm a rider.. Well used to be.. I was the one who was never home because she was out with the kids, the friends, the fam or at the store, heck when I was Preggo I used to drive to Atlanta just to go to a factory store on days my husband was working night shift because I didn't want to be home while he slept.. Yes I'm that crazy.. I would make day trips to Atlanta, I'm from savannah, so it's a good 3 hour drive.. Well a few years back in June of 2010 I was doing renovations to my laundry room and went to the store to get cabinet doors.. Well the store wasn't open for another hour, so after dropping the kids at daycare we went to eat.. Dumb me ate.. Well let's say I got sick to my stomach was hubs and I.. We're driving home and all of a sudden I jumped out of the car.. So sick to my stomach and having my first ever panic attack.. Well I made a deal with him and said ok the minute I get the in car hall butt.. We were a mile from the house.. 1/2 a mile down I'm out again, this time I sat on the side of the road throwing up for 2 hours in the dead of summer heat, wearing jeans and a black tee, finally I walked a half mile home because just getting near the car made me sick.. Since that day I haven't been able to get in a car, or even go to my neighbors house without having a panick attack. My home counselor diagnosed me with PTSD last month and is due to come back but she said she could only come back one more time.. I'm freaking.. How can I get over this on my own.. It's 2 miles to any gas station from my house.. Which freaks me out.. I'm one who knows where every bathroom is at any store.. Now it's really effecting me.. I just found out I'm Preggo and still the health of my child isn't changing my mind set.. Which it should since I've had a stillbirth before so I'm deathly afraid to be pregnant again.. I'm so lost at this point and everyone around me just tells me to "get over it" and I can't and no one knows how this feels. Does anyone else have PTSD and how have you been able to cope, I can't stop seeing that day.. Heck I remember what I ate that day.. What I was wearing..even the time of day.. I mean come on .. The is seriously something wrong itch me.. I want to "get over it" but I can't.. It's effecting my relationships with my family.. I divorced my hubs because she bashed me with ever school appointment or recital or game my kids had.. Like I wasn't home crying because I couldn't be there for my kids.. Now I'm risking losing my children to that douche because I can't drive in an emergency.. Please any advice would help.. Message me.. Past a comment.. Anything.. I need help and want help..

Thank you for listening/reading
by on Apr. 25, 2012 at 3:06 PM
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by Leah on Apr. 25, 2012 at 3:35 PM

 hugs! I remember my first real panic attack like it was yesterday, too! it took me months to be able to drive again, and I still have issues with riding in a car sometimes. I had to make myself drive because I have to go to work, so I'd go to work and back home and that was it. Slowly I'd start making myself drive further and further and recently drove four and a half hours to the Oregon coast. I have a nervous stomach, so I struggle with eating anywhere but home as well. Sometimes I'm fine, and sometimes I get sick and I hate it.

by Group Admin on Apr. 25, 2012 at 5:17 PM

 you need to continue your therapy. see if you can do it over the phone. there are meds to take for this and you may be able to take them while you are pregnant. you are going to have to try to get in a car to get to the relaxation techniques and use some of those while you are riding. get someone else to drive you.

by on Apr. 25, 2012 at 5:57 PM
Thanks y'all.. I do have g.p."s who have a camper that I can ride in but I'm still scared about having a freak out during my appointment .. It's happened before so I'm still a bit scared
by on Apr. 25, 2012 at 10:14 PM

 Can you maybe take some baby steps?  Go out and stand by the car until you're OK with that. Open the door and sit in the car until you're OK with that. Sit in the car with the door closed. Crank the engine. Pull to the end of the driveway. go around the block.

Try riding and try driving. Since you were riding the day you got sick, perhaps you'll feel more in control both literally and figuratively if you take the driver's seat..

Be extra kind and gentle with yourself. You will find a way to get past this.

by on Apr. 25, 2012 at 10:20 PM
I absolutely terrified of driving. It sucks. So I know how you feel.
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by on Apr. 26, 2012 at 9:33 AM

I have ptsd from sexual assault and a very abusive relationship.  Therapy is a long process for ptsd but it will get better if you find a qualified therapist.  Google EMDR, its a therapy used for PTSD and it really helped me.

by on Apr. 27, 2012 at 1:17 AM
I feel ya, I have PTSD also, I don't drive, riding on the freeway or going over the mountains freaks me out badly, I turn icy cold and get real sick. I have had my hubby stop the car, I get out and cry.
I know there are breathing techniques, but I am so wrapped in panic I can't breathe. Find a therapist that would be willing to talk over the phone if they can't come to you. Explain your situation and please get the help and support you need. We are here for you!
by on Apr. 27, 2012 at 7:57 AM

HI Heather!  Im heather too..i am 42 now but had ptsd when i was 21..i had a panic attack at home and then memories of sexual abuse started as flashbacks and movies in my if it were someone else..i couldnt watch tv ..i would get triggered by was an awful time period in my life..please message me anytime..i would love to be there for you!!

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