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why do i set such high expectations for myself?

Posted by on May. 2, 2012 at 12:45 PM
  • 8 Replies

i find myself in this current state of not knowing "who i am" "what i want" "what i think" etc. when this happens for years on end i tend to latch onto someone that i idolize and try to do everything they do, be everything they are. they ahve it "perfect" and if i could just mirror them then i will be happy. of course the person that i have managed to latch onto for the last few years has a life that doesnt even compare to mine and i could never in my wildest dreams keep up with her. this comes up right now because i am trying to wear my baby on my back in a wrap. well i HATE it. he HATES it. it takes forever. it hurts to put on. i have a mei tie that we both love. simpe easy and doesnt hurt at all. but SHE uses a wrap. several different wraps. i feel like im failing. im a lesser person right now because id rather use one carrier instead of another. i do this to myself ALL THE TIME. the tiniest little things! Well SHE does it this way so i am doing it wrong. wrong wrong wrong. failed failed. worthless. pointless. ALL THE TIME. and i cant stop it

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by on May. 2, 2012 at 12:45 PM
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Replies (1-8):
mrsvixen
by Gold Member on May. 2, 2012 at 12:53 PM

We are always our own worst critics :(

Why don't you look at all the good things you've done, instead of trying to think of things you don't do right?

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lyrick24
by Ruby Member on May. 2, 2012 at 1:58 PM
1 mom liked this

 is your self-esteem low? are you not confident in yourself so you feel like you have to copy someones else to be doing the right thing? you need to learn to trust yourself and the things you do and the decisions you make. someone elses way of doing things may not be your way of doing them. be confident in the decisions you make. if you dont like the thing she does with her baby then dont do it. do what youve been doing and what feels most comfortable to you. be comfortable in your own skin. you may need to see a therapist to help you with some of this.

jdy9440
by on May. 2, 2012 at 3:42 PM
Quoting lyrick24:

 is your self-esteem low? are you not confident in yourself so you feel like you have to copy someones else to be doing the right thing? you need to learn to trust yourself and the things you do and the decisions you make. someone elses way of doing things may not be your way of doing them. be confident in the decisions you make. if you dont like the thing she does with her baby then dont do it. do what youve been doing and what feels most comfortable to you. be comfortable in your own skin. you may need to see a therapist to help you with some of this.




This exactly, do it your way :-)
rhodaj
by rho on May. 7, 2012 at 7:38 AM

Hun don't worry how someone else is doing it. Just because they do something a certain way doesn't make you wrong. You are not worthless or pointless.  It sounds like you have low self esteem and that you have always been told that know matter how you did something it was wrong. Prevous past.  You need to work on your self worth and self esteem there is great books and people out there to help you do this. You will also have allot of help here in the group also.

remember you are the best person in the world

matreshka
by Ruby Member on May. 7, 2012 at 8:17 AM

(((hugs))) you are you and your differences make you who you are. use the mei tai. Whats important is you are wearing your baby, and that is awesome!  I used wraps, I would have loved a mei tai!

matreshka
by Ruby Member on May. 7, 2012 at 8:18 AM

I love your siggy btw

MrzPalmer
by on May. 7, 2012 at 9:28 AM

everyone is there own worse critic! But something that i learned when i was a teenager is that you cant try to live someone elses life the way they do cause then your not being your true self, and your not makeing yourself happy. We are individuals and different for a reason. When you are being a "follower" in life your not being your true self. Be a "Leader". You never know who may envy or admaire you when your being yourself. And i have learned that when you try copy someone else eventually they will get tired of it, and not want to hang around you. Live your life your own for you and your baby! Show your baby to be a leader as he's growing up. I promise once you do, you will feel way better.

deltathree
by Gold Member on May. 7, 2012 at 11:36 AM


Quoting mrsvixen:

We are always our own worst critics :(

Why don't you look at all the good things you've done, instead of trying to think of things you don't do right?


Hugs,......

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