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I was okay all day today. I wouldn't go so far as to say I was happy, but feeling decent, especially considering its my week to work. When I got home, I was watching TV and the show I was watching had a romantic scene in it and I realized how much I miss the passion of a new relationship. I'm married and I would never cheat on my husband. He's a good man, a good father to our son and I love him, even though weve had our share of marital issues.

This train of thought led me to how bored I am with my life. Again, don't get me wrong, I love my husband and son with all my heart. I would never do anything to hurt or lose them. Yet part of me thinks there's got to be more to life than getting up everyday to do the same routine day in and day out. Depression and anxiety have robbed me of too much of my life.

I have a lot to be grateful for, so why isnt it enough? Most of my close friends live a distance away, and have families of their own, and work,, so it can be difficult to coordinate schedules. My career path hasn't worked out as I had planned.

To tell you the truth, I don't even know what to do to make changes, to not feel so bored. I used to be in therapy, and honestly, probably ought to be in it now. Money is an issue, and i work for the biggest psych clinic/hospital in town, so I don't want to see a coworker, even one who works in a different dept than me. Ive seen several therapists for short periods of time, but only one that I feel really connected with and understood me. Unfortunately he has to relocate to over 90 minutes away from here.

Thank you for taking the time to read this...I feel a little better. I think if I had someone I could really talk to, I would feel better.
by on May. 6, 2012 at 2:39 AM
Replies (11-12):
by Angela on May. 7, 2012 at 2:42 AM
Quoting sunangel803:

I've tried talking to my husband about how I feel, but he doesn't get it. Like I said, we've had marital issues. Our marriage is not what it used to be. To be honest, I'm not sure I get why I feel this way. What fills an emptiness when you're not sure why you feel this way.

To further explain this...Ive often felt empty inside, like there's a missing piece to my life but I don't know what it is, so I don't know how to fix it.

Thanks for letting me vent. This is the most I've shared about my feelings to anybody in quite awhile.
by on May. 7, 2012 at 8:55 PM
I always have that feeling of emptiness, wishing my life had taking a better more interesting path. I have 5 beautiful children. But I still yearn for happiness. Hopefully one day it will come.
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