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Depression Support Center Depression Support Center

hi i,m new...( my story)

Posted by on May. 9, 2012 at 2:14 PM
  • 10 Replies

 hi i,m new ..my nameis kriss i,m from VA ..i,m 35 ( years young)..i have 3 kids ,2 dogs ,cat..i live wth my fam..i have ld,depression,panic attacks,back issues ,messed up leg.( trying to get on disability for the 4th time)

 

i never thought i had depression till after my dd was born in 01 ..well i had a lot of issues ..ppd but it lasted a long time..over a year.than i started doing some reading ..i realised i had depression in hs ,middle school .thank i have depression sense i was mabie10.( tried killing my self in hs).well around that time i would start having these weird attacks..i would feel like i was going to pass out  or die..come fine out thy were panic attacks..well i had em off and one my hole teen years ,sense i had my dd..in 05 i had twins..3 weeks after thy were born i called my doc and got on rx ..she was afraidi would hurt my self ..i sayed no just my husband ...we were going throw a brake up..i had twins infants ,3 year old..and he wonted to be a ass so i was like hell wth u buddy ..after 12 years( he was a drinker ,was in jail for dui in 2000 i went throw hell and back wth him) i dumped his ass..well i moved in wth my mom ,dad ..been here ever sense..it has been hard but i have made it ..well this year (1 29 12) my grandfather moved in wth us ..he has parking's sons,alz,and other heath issues..so i became his primary care giver..was fine wth me ..i had did that from 07-08 so i know what i,m doing ..well on march 1st he has a stroke and he passed 13  days later..we were by his side throw it all..i even helped clean his body after he passed..well i know it would be hard on me..so i prepared my self mently..well it hit me a month ago . it was like i was in a dark hole and no one could pull me out..for 3 days i felt so depresses..i had been sick wth female issues to ..so my hormones were fuck up.. ( dam hormones)..well i pulled my self up but ever sense i have been having issues..sometimes i,m like i just wont to run away or die..wen i get that way i try to thank or something else..or do something wth my dogs..( Thar my support)..ppl don't understand how hard it is for me sometimes..i have ld to .ppl thank i,m faking..i ,m like OK ..i,m faking wonted to end my life.. ?? like i would wont to leave my kids ,fam and be faking...( stupid ppl)..any way that's my story..sorry so long..sorry about spelling ..i have ldand god made me that way ..i have more to tell but i don't wont to bore u to sleep ..lol

 

pleas no bashing...


                                 

by on May. 9, 2012 at 2:14 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Burnz
by on May. 9, 2012 at 2:30 PM
Welcome! It sounds like you are a strong woman to make it through everything.
I suffer from depression and anxiety like you. It is frustrating and hard. Glad you joined and you will soon realize you are not alone. Hugs!
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KRIZZ25
by Bronze Member on May. 9, 2012 at 2:35 PM

 

Quoting Burnz:

Welcome! It sounds like you are a strong woman to make it through everything.
I suffer from depression and anxiety like you. It is frustrating and hard. Glad you joined and you will soon realize you are not alone. Hugs!

 thanks yea i have no choice ..have to be strong.. got kids to raise..and i,m a red head ,irish,German..i,m a hard ass..most times..lol

lyrick24
by Ruby Member on May. 9, 2012 at 5:18 PM

 im sorry for your loss and that you are going through all this right now. do you still have your kids there with you at home? with all you have i can understand why you are trying to get on disablity but its so hard to get on these days. is there anyway you can go to the dr right now and get on some meds for your depression? or see a therapist? that is what i would recommend that you do. hope things start looking up for you! by the way, i live in southwest, va. what part do you live in if you dont mind my asking?

KRIZZ25
by Bronze Member on May. 9, 2012 at 7:40 PM

 

Quoting lyrick24:

 im sorry for your loss and that you are going through all this right now. do you still have your kids there with you at home? with all you have i can understand why you are trying to get on disablity but its so hard to get on these days. is there anyway you can go to the dr right now and get on some meds for your depression? or see a therapist? that is what i would recommend that you do. hope things start looking up for you! by the way, i live in southwest, va. what part do you live in if you dont mind my asking?

 oh i,m on rx for depression ..yes my kids are 11,7..i cant get therpy becase medace wont pay and u have to be really bad off to get free counsling.and the i,m affrade that thy will  try to take my kids away .

i,m a grate mom..

i live near Richmond .

mrsvixen
by Gold Member on May. 9, 2012 at 9:12 PM

Hello and welcome.

I'm so very sorry for the loss of your grandpa. I just lost my dad in June. I looked after him on and off (I live several hundred miles away) and thought I was ready. I found out the hard way, that your never really *ready*.

Greif support is a great way to help you get through it and it's usually offered free. Check with the funeral home.

Are you on medication? seeing a therapist?

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leahbeah143
by Leah on May. 9, 2012 at 10:02 PM

 hugs and welcome to the group!

matreshka
by Ruby Member on May. 10, 2012 at 7:10 AM

I'm sorry medicaid wont help with counceling, here they do at specific places like the clinic I go to, maybe you could call your local clinic and see if you can go.  It sounds like you could benefit from it, I know I do greatly.

There are also free support groups, ones for depression, coping skills, and grieving, you can check again with a clinic by you.

We are always here, many of us have been through a lot so we can understand (((Hugs)))

KRIZZ25
by Bronze Member on May. 10, 2012 at 7:17 AM

 

Quoting matreshka:

I'm sorry medicaid wont help with counceling, here they do at specific places like the clinic I go to, maybe you could call your local clinic and see if you can go.  It sounds like you could benefit from it, I know I do greatly.

There are also free support groups, ones for depression, coping skills, and grieving, you can check again with a clinic by you.

We are always here, many of us have been through a lot so we can understand (((Hugs)))

 i have looked in to a lot but i don't have a car and cant drive so i,m fucked..and wen ur on medicaid lot ppl wont touch u.. i had one lady tell me i cant get help  unless i have a mental disorder .so i cant get any free help ..cant pay for help.. i,m stuck..the government don't care any way.

lucy164
by Peggy on May. 10, 2012 at 7:48 AM

depression is a mental disorder.  you should be able to get some help.

PuppetDani
by on May. 10, 2012 at 7:52 AM

Hi and welcome... 

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