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not sure really...(long)

Posted by on May. 9, 2012 at 7:45 PM
  • 4 Replies

I feel I am a wonderful person. I am 24 weeks pregnant and SO and I are still working on a place to live before Lily gets here...I live with family..I love my family..but Ive always felt different than them...the best way I could describe them is abusive. Im sure I still have some changing to do in myself..but for the most part I am respectful, giving, loving and caring. I'm trying and constantly thinking of ways to be happy until the day I move out..but it's really hard. It makes me feel useless and little when my elders treat me like shit. All I do while I am here is help. (I live rent free) I am not working...Ive sold my car to help my SO with money and plus he can't maintain two vehicles, insurance bills ect. I met my SO over a year ago. We've already been through a lot, but I can tell we have time to grow and Ive always known that. We found out I was pregnant and we decided to keep the baby and do what we had to do. He works his ass off and keeps me happy. I'm sick of cleaning up after these cruel slobs. I am not perfect and I sometimes fall into their negative ways, but I find it very hard to be happy and uplifting while surrounded by SOOOOO much negatitivy. I'm also very scared that my SO is going to change his mind and not care for us...I have no reason to believe he will...I feel I am severly temporarily depressed and...idk..:/

by on May. 9, 2012 at 7:45 PM
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by rho on May. 9, 2012 at 8:06 PM
Hun living with toxic people will make u depressed with all the other things going on. I hope things starts looking up for u. Just focus on the baby
Good luck
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by on May. 9, 2012 at 9:16 PM

I'm sure the baby hormones aren't helping either. When is she due???

How are your family cruel to you? You need to try to set boundaries with them.

Maybe they are unaware of how they are treating you? My mom will say some really mean things to me sometimes and it really makes me feel like shit. I've now learnt to call her on it and tell her how it makes me feel. She's Usually very surprised, as she doesn't realize she did it.

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by on May. 10, 2012 at 12:08 AM

she is due Aug SO is very supportive and I am thankful..

by cruel I mean, disrespectful, unappreciative, everyone is always fighting (there is A LOT of people in one house) they all want me to do things for them and I do because Im not doing much of anything else besides preparing to move in with my wears me THIIIIIN AND if i ask a simple favor, I get attitude. I cook food, clean up after everybody, Im not even sure why, It's just my nature I guess to help because I dont pay anything. The hatred/negativity cannot be expplained with words. for example tho, my stepdad called my younger sister a whore for wearing a skirt to her band concert tonight..I mean none of the actions suprise me that I see around the house because I grew up in it , but now I am being mistreated. I feel used and shitty by the end of almost every day. worn out. I focus on Lily a lot..I just reach a breaking point every day. ;/

by Group Admin on May. 10, 2012 at 8:32 AM

 i think if you get yourself out of there you would feel much better. no wonder you are having negative thoughts about your so as much as you are around negativity. you do sound like a caring, loving person and i admire you for being that way especially with what you have been exposed to. hope everything works out for you and so to get a place together. if yall work really hard you can. you might even look into getting a income bases apt. good luck!

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