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Depression Support Center Depression Support Center

 I have been extremely depressed all week.  Today is the first day that I came to work and I want to go home already.  I just want to sleep and cry and do nothing.  I keep thinking about taking a bottle of sleeping pills.  I almost did the other day.  I can't concentrate, I'm numb, I just want to sleep.  I'm tired of pretending to be ok when I'm really not.  I'm screaming on the inside.  I can't get help right now so I have to keep dealing with this on my own.  But I don't know how much more I can take or how much longer I can go on.  I don't want to wake up anymore

 

by on May. 10, 2012 at 11:41 AM
Replies (11-14):
4kidslater2009
by Bronze Member on May. 11, 2012 at 11:01 AM
There's no point in getting diagnosed when I won't be able to get the meds every month. I'll just keep doing what I always do and just hang on the best I can until something changes
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TateTwo
by on May. 12, 2012 at 9:34 AM

I saw bars on my window once.  Seriously.  I looked outside and when I blinked, there were iron bars.  I blinked again and they were gone.

I didn't do anything right away but eventually, I went to a Catholic church and started lighting a candle for myself.  I'm not Catholic but that one small act every day for about a year pulled me out of where I was at the time. 

I can't presume to tell you what you need or what you don't need to do.  Certainly reconsider the sleeping pills route - there is someone who will miss you and will be very hurt by that action.  Just know that I understand a little bit about what you must be feeling and, no matter where you are, I'll be giving you a lot of hugs.

TateTwo
by on May. 12, 2012 at 9:37 AM

I understand that completely.  I went without benefits for too many years to mention with no meds at all.  I did make some changes during that time, though.  I ate smaller meals and used some herbal remedies that have helped a lot. 

Things WILL change for you but you have to FIGHT for it.  With all your strength.  Don't give in, honey, and never, ever give up.  *hugs*

Quoting 4kidslater2009:

There's no point in getting diagnosed when I won't be able to get the meds every month. I'll just keep doing what I always do and just hang on the best I can until something changes


matreshka
by Ruby Member on May. 12, 2012 at 9:40 AM

I agree with the other posters about going to the er, worry about the bills later, there are always payment plans.  also if you can find a free support group to go to that would help, it has helped me.  So have workbooks I bought from amazon.

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