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Depression Support Center Depression Support Center

I think I'm losing it. :'(

Posted by on May. 14, 2012 at 10:38 PM
  • 6 Replies

 Hi, My name is Natasha. I had a baby in January. I think Ive been having some postpartum depression, I think alot of it has it do with him being in the NICU for a month, and then trying to learn his schedul from being there, all of his medicine, doctor appointments, I feel so overwelmed. I also have a 4 year old daughter who was, and always has been healthy. I never experienced this with her. I also just lost my grandpa on the 2nd of this month. I saw him everyday, and he was the only "father figure" I had growing up. He ment the world to me. I'm trying to be strong for my daughter who misses him alot too, but I keep breaking down at random times. My boyfriend says I need to deal with it and get on with my life, and he tells me it's taking over my life. I dont even know what he means by that. :'( I feel like I have noone to talk to. And i feel like I'm failing as a parent cuz it gets so bad at times that I cant even take care of my kids. I'm on anti depressants, and anxiety meds, and still losing my mind. I feel so depressed that my whole body feels like I got beat up by like 10 guys. I physically hurt too. :(

by on May. 14, 2012 at 10:38 PM
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by on May. 14, 2012 at 11:11 PM
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U should talk to your doc maybe meds could help. My son was in nicu for a long time and its exhausting and then you are grieving. Im so sorry for your loss. But you just focus on your lil ones and hopefully soon things will get better
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by on May. 15, 2012 at 8:10 AM
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I'm so sorry that you're hurting right now.

My older daughter was born nearly 2 months premature and spent 4 weeks in NICU.  It was really hard to cope with - I didn't know how hard until her sister arrived full-term 15 months later and I DIDN'T have to deal with all the fuss that NICU included.  She is now a tall, healthy 17 year old doing well at University and the only health issue she has from being so premature is asthma (which she might have developed anyway since DH has it badly and DD#2 and I have mildly).

I'm sorry for your loss.  It always hurts to lose someone we love, no matter how 'ready' they were to go.  I lost my father when my girls were 1 and 2, and my mother when they were 5 and 6 so I know how hard it is to carry on with caring for everyone else while you just want to break down and mourn them.  You're probably also mourning a bit that your pregnancy and birth didn't go 'as expected' and you had to deal with all this fuss with NICU - that takes a lot out of you too.

I'm glad you're on antidepressant and anxiety meds.  They really will help.  It sounds to me like you would benefit from some kind of talk-therapy too.  It would give you someone other than your boyfriend to talk to, someone who maybe could help you to make some sense out of the life you're living now.

Best of luck, hon!

by on Aug. 4, 2012 at 11:25 PM

 My husband tells me it's in my head and that I need to man up basically and It hurts to hear that, because he obviously doesn't get how I'm feeling. I feel alone in this to most days. :(

by Bronze Member on Aug. 4, 2012 at 11:32 PM
I had postpartum depression after my 1st 2 boys. And Ive been diagnosed with it again. My 3rd son is 10 months old. If you need to talk PM me.
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by on Aug. 10, 2012 at 5:41 PM

my man tells me that its in my head too. i dont think anyone can understand how we feel, unless they have truely had the experince. 

by Bronze Member on Aug. 15, 2012 at 12:35 PM

im sorrythe commentd ur bf is saying IS NOT helpful!  doesnt sound like  he even know what yuor going though or what PPD IS. im so srry.  please cal and find a theripst. and like someone else said u are grieving too. only adds to ur depression level. 

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