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Depression Support Center Depression Support Center

Feels like everything is going downhill.....

Posted by on Jun. 10, 2012 at 2:10 PM
  • 10 Replies

 Ok so after being away for about 7-8 months, for the past 2 1/2 months me and my daughter came back to move in with her father and try to work things out. The problem is we have been bumping heads for about 2 months back and forth with him asking me to leave, accusing me of looking at other guys, saying how the only reason i go outside is to show myself off and a whole bunch of things. Well I came here (her dads town) with just enough money to get us into a place but with no job, no other money to support us or anything. Maybe dumb on my part but the first few weeks were great. Now its to the point where everyone who has helped me in the past has given up since i always went back to him. Now the only option i have is going to Georgia. Oh we are from Hudson, New York. I feel bad becuase if we go this route he may not be able to see her for a long time. I have no money to get anywhere or even to support us, up here welfare is trash to where if you become homeless for some reason they do not help you unless you have a place to live. My dillema is; Am I wrong for leaving all the way to Georgia? Would it be my fault? Would my daughter despise me and hate me for it? I am so confused on what may be best and I know I should know because she is my daughter but with so much stress cause of the situation with family, schoolwork and my child 24/7 I feel at a loss. I can take all criticism and advice that anyone would like to give.

by on Jun. 10, 2012 at 2:10 PM
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Replies (1-10):
ashleighmama
by Ashleigh on Jun. 10, 2012 at 2:47 PM
I've not been in your situation but if you're not happy, I don't think you should stay. I've been married for 14 years and as time goes on I just keep getting more unhappy with him. We have just grown so far apart. Unless you truly think things will get better between the two of you, you need to move on and find happiness elsewhere. You would take your little girl with you right?
Dereksmom1018
by on Jun. 10, 2012 at 2:49 PM

If going to Georgia is your safety plan then that is where you should go. You are being abused and that is not good for you or your daughter. Who or what is in Georgia?

AyjahsMom
by on Jun. 10, 2012 at 5:02 PM

 

Quoting ashleighmama:

I've not been in your situation but if you're not happy, I don't think you should stay. I've been married for 14 years and as time goes on I just keep getting more unhappy with him. We have just grown so far apart. Unless you truly think things will get better between the two of you, you need to move on and find happiness elsewhere. You would take your little girl with you right?

 Of course, thats whats kind of hard for me cause i know she will constantly asking for him. Oh I forgot to mention that shes only 3, idk if that matters but yea

AyjahsMom
by on Jun. 10, 2012 at 5:05 PM

 

Quoting Dereksmom1018:

If going to Georgia is your safety plan then that is where you should go. You are being abused and that is not good for you or your daughter. Who or what is in Georgia?

 I have my aunt in columbus georgia that may be willing to help me get on my feet. I just dont know how to talk to her about it. I feel like such a mess up on constantly running back to him, Idk how to telll her i would need her help on distancing myself from talking to him as well until the manipulations stop.

Dereksmom1018
by on Jun. 10, 2012 at 5:07 PM


Quoting AyjahsMom:

 

Quoting Dereksmom1018:

If going to Georgia is your safety plan then that is where you should go. You are being abused and that is not good for you or your daughter. Who or what is in Georgia?

 I have my aunt in columbus georgia that may be willing to help me get on my feet. I just dont know how to talk to her about it. I feel like such a mess up on constantly running back to him, Idk how to telll her i would need her help on distancing myself from talking to him as well until the manipulations stop.

Have you ever called Battered Womens hotline for advice and support? They helped me 2x's when I was in 2 seperate abusive relationships. I would call them where you are living now and get hooked up with them in Georgia.

ashleighmama
by Ashleigh on Jun. 10, 2012 at 5:24 PM
I know its hard and your daughter will ask for him but if things dont get better and later on down the read you decide to leave I think it would be way harder cuz she would be older. Plus you dont want her to see you getting abused physically or mentally cuz its not good for her plus you dont want her to grow up thinking that how he treats you is ok.

Quoting AyjahsMom:

 


Quoting ashleighmama:

I've not been in your situation but if you're not happy, I don't think you should stay. I've been married for 14 years and as time goes on I just keep getting more unhappy with him. We have just grown so far apart. Unless you truly think things will get better between the two of you, you need to move on and find happiness elsewhere. You would take your little girl with you right?

 Of course, thats whats kind of hard for me cause i know she will constantly asking for him. Oh I forgot to mention that shes only 3, idk if that matters but yea

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Anonymous
by Anonymous on Jun. 11, 2012 at 12:38 AM

You're not wrong for getting help from a family member and making a new life for yourself, especially if he's already asking you to leave, not trusting you and being verbally and emotionally abusive.

Do you want to stay with him?  Are you happy with him? Your daughter is 3.  By the time she's 10 or 11, he might accuse her of stuff, too. 

Your daughter will react to you the way you react to her. 

lucy164
by Platinum Member on Jun. 11, 2012 at 5:59 AM

i don't think your daughter would hate you, as long as she can keep in touch with him.  sounds like georgia is the place for you.

lyrick24
by Ruby Member on Jun. 11, 2012 at 6:03 AM

 if i were you i would go to ga. you cant stay in a situation like that. it sounds like your bf is very controlling. it may not be a good situation for your daughter either. if she has to hear all of that. your bf could visit her as often as he could.

matreshka
by Ruby Member on Jun. 11, 2012 at 7:27 AM

I would go to GA, you shouldn't be in an abusive situation, its never going to work.  If your aunt helps you maybe will get your DD down their quicker than you think.

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