Why don't you love yourself? You sound really nice.
It is true that we can't really reach out and find new people when we hate each other. At least some of that has to be fixed first.
Personally, I always think that those of us who hate ourselves are so much more interesting and try so hard, and honestly want to be better-- and there are so many people who are cruel and superficial and hateful and uncaring and simply say "take me or leave me, this is who I am". So I tend to think that people who hate ourselves are often really more admirable.
But we do need to learn not to.
Interestingly, I have lately had little bouts of depression between normalcy, and the hatred disappears and returns to a grudging acceptance when the bouts end. So I'd say a lot of it is the chemicals- the disease- and the rest is the damage we do to ourselves through the self talk and stuff over the years. But the one responds to things like drugs, sunlight and exercise, and the other responds to therapy.
maybe you need to see a therapist to offer you some counseling and get you to feeling better about yourself. it sounds like your self-esteem is really low. hope you get the help you need.
i feel the same way bout myself have you tried having a make over day thats what i did im not a very girly girl but i panited my nails, shaved my legs, did my eyebrows and fixed my hair and put an outfit on that made me feel good bout my body (very hard at 8 months prego). oh and one thing i like to do is put on all my jewlery at the same time sounds silly like a kid playing dress up but sometimes lil silly things make ya feel good.
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