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Depression Support Center Depression Support Center

I cut myself.

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 17 Replies

I have been feeling under the weather, I don't know if it is from pregnancy hormones or what but I just don't feel sexy, loving, caring, or even wanted okay okay it is the hormones, I have cut myself before but I did stop because I seen how dumb it was. Then tonight my husband went to watch a movie with his family and I didn't get my way and just flipped broke a bowl threw stuff cried my eyes out felt unloved and then just cut myself because I was mad. I told my husband and I feel so bad because it makes me feel even more down about myself and he doesn't want to have sex til it is healed up which I get and don't get. I just want him to hold me 24/7 because for some reason this time in my pregnancy but his body warmth makes me feel secure.

Posted by Anonymous on Jul. 21, 2012 at 12:56 AM
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Replies (1-10):
Anonymous
by Anonymous on Jul. 21, 2012 at 1:02 AM

Did he feel like he needed some time with family?  Why didn't you go with him?

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Jul. 21, 2012 at 1:05 AM

 He did but I just couldn't understand it. We had no extra money and we just went to the movies the night before now that I am calm I get he just wanted to spend time with his family and now I feel dumb. I don't know how to not be so controlling and how to deal with emotions

Quoting Anonymous:

Did he feel like he needed some time with family?  Why didn't you go with him?

 

Anonymous
by Anonymous on Jul. 21, 2012 at 1:13 AM

It's really easy to mis-understand a situation, hon. Spending time with family is a good thing but I'm curious why you didn't go.


Well, in my experience, when I have a tight rein on someone, it usually means I don't trust them in some significant way.  It could be something simple like you don't trust him not to pick up the Pepsi when he's at the store or it could be something like you don't trust him not to talk about you behind your back. 

You have to remember than anxiety isn't necessarily a negative thing.  Sometimes, it's there to prepare you for something positive that's about to happen or prepare you for an event that will take place. 

Quoting Anonymous:

 He did but I just couldn't understand it. We had no extra money and we just went to the movies the night before now that I am calm I get he just wanted to spend time with his family and now I feel dumb. I don't know how to not be so controlling and how to deal with emotions

Quoting Anonymous:

Did he feel like he needed some time with family?  Why didn't you go with him?

 


anotherandree
by on Jul. 21, 2012 at 1:19 AM

It sounds like you both need some time to stop and think.  It sounds like he is scared and you feel rejected.  Both are negative emotions.  Try not to go to bed without some sort of resolution.

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Jul. 21, 2012 at 1:26 AM

 I had to watch my dd. I don't trust him yet we only been married a year. I get really bad anxiety but my dh doesn't believe in stuff like that so it is hard to learn to cope with it. I feel extra bad because he brought home my favorite movie to watch and flowers and made me dinner because I was crying before he left then he found that out and everything changed.

Quoting Anonymous:

It's really easy to mis-understand a situation, hon. Spending time with family is a good thing but I'm curious why you didn't go.


Well, in my experience, when I have a tight rein on someone, it usually means I don't trust them in some significant way.  It could be something simple like you don't trust him not to pick up the Pepsi when he's at the store or it could be something like you don't trust him not to talk about you behind your back. 

You have to remember than anxiety isn't necessarily a negative thing.  Sometimes, it's there to prepare you for something positive that's about to happen or prepare you for an event that will take place. 

Quoting Anonymous:

 He did but I just couldn't understand it. We had no extra money and we just went to the movies the night before now that I am calm I get he just wanted to spend time with his family and now I feel dumb. I don't know how to not be so controlling and how to deal with emotions

Quoting Anonymous:

Did he feel like he needed some time with family?  Why didn't you go with him?

 


 

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Jul. 21, 2012 at 1:28 AM

 Think about what? lol he set it in stone that the soultion is no sex til it is healed lol

Quoting anotherandree:

It sounds like you both need some time to stop and think.  It sounds like he is scared and you feel rejected.  Both are negative emotions.  Try not to go to bed without some sort of resolution.

 

Anonymous
by Anonymous on Jul. 21, 2012 at 1:37 AM

I understand the separation anxiety.  Truly, I do.  My husband can't go to the barber shop without me knowing it because if he's not here in the mornings when I wake up, I put myself in such a state that I want to throw up.

Is there some reason why you don't trust him? 

Husbands can be intimidated by someone who is going through emotional roller-coasters, especially with the pregnancy.  Some husbands just don't "get it" you know?  The emotions are very real, honey. Personally, I can't tell my husband everything.  I don't keep what you might call "secrets" but I don't tell him the things that make me sad.  Sadness is my way of healing old/new wounds and I've taught myself not to let it take over for too long.  I purposely move myself into a better place whether I feel like it or not.

Have you talked to your doctor about the emotions and anxiety?

Quoting Anonymous:

 I had to watch my dd. I don't trust him yet we only been married a year. I get really bad anxiety but my dh doesn't believe in stuff like that so it is hard to learn to cope with it. I feel extra bad because he brought home my favorite movie to watch and flowers and made me dinner because I was crying before he left then he found that out and everything changed.

Quoting Anonymous:

It's really easy to mis-understand a situation, hon. Spending time with family is a good thing but I'm curious why you didn't go.


Well, in my experience, when I have a tight rein on someone, it usually means I don't trust them in some significant way.  It could be something simple like you don't trust him not to pick up the Pepsi when he's at the store or it could be something like you don't trust him not to talk about you behind your back. 

You have to remember than anxiety isn't necessarily a negative thing.  Sometimes, it's there to prepare you for something positive that's about to happen or prepare you for an event that will take place. 

Quoting Anonymous:

 He did but I just couldn't understand it. We had no extra money and we just went to the movies the night before now that I am calm I get he just wanted to spend time with his family and now I feel dumb. I don't know how to not be so controlling and how to deal with emotions

Quoting Anonymous:

Did he feel like he needed some time with family?  Why didn't you go with him?

 


 


Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Jul. 21, 2012 at 1:43 AM

 Right. It takes a lot to get my trust and we went back and forth in the start of the realtionship and was talking to other girls. Then he started watching porn behind my back but nothing HUGE that would make me act this way because we over came it but things still pop up from it. no I havnt because I am scared too.

Quoting Anonymous:

I understand the separation anxiety.  Truly, I do.  My husband can't go to the barber shop without me knowing it because if he's not here in the mornings when I wake up, I put myself in such a state that I want to throw up.

Is there some reason why you don't trust him? 

Husbands can be intimidated by someone who is going through emotional roller-coasters, especially with the pregnancy.  Some husbands just don't "get it" you know?  The emotions are very real, honey. Personally, I can't tell my husband everything.  I don't keep what you might call "secrets" but I don't tell him the things that make me sad.  Sadness is my way of healing old/new wounds and I've taught myself not to let it take over for too long.  I purposely move myself into a better place whether I feel like it or not.

Have you talked to your doctor about the emotions and anxiety?

Quoting Anonymous:

 I had to watch my dd. I don't trust him yet we only been married a year. I get really bad anxiety but my dh doesn't believe in stuff like that so it is hard to learn to cope with it. I feel extra bad because he brought home my favorite movie to watch and flowers and made me dinner because I was crying before he left then he found that out and everything changed.

Quoting Anonymous:

It's really easy to mis-understand a situation, hon. Spending time with family is a good thing but I'm curious why you didn't go.


Well, in my experience, when I have a tight rein on someone, it usually means I don't trust them in some significant way.  It could be something simple like you don't trust him not to pick up the Pepsi when he's at the store or it could be something like you don't trust him not to talk about you behind your back. 

You have to remember than anxiety isn't necessarily a negative thing.  Sometimes, it's there to prepare you for something positive that's about to happen or prepare you for an event that will take place. 

Quoting Anonymous:

 He did but I just couldn't understand it. We had no extra money and we just went to the movies the night before now that I am calm I get he just wanted to spend time with his family and now I feel dumb. I don't know how to not be so controlling and how to deal with emotions

Quoting Anonymous:

Did he feel like he needed some time with family?  Why didn't you go with him?

 


 


 

Anonymous
by Anonymous on Jul. 21, 2012 at 1:51 AM

It sounds like (again this is just my humble opinion) that your fear is controlling your life. 

Fear that he'll leave you for another woman.  Fear that he'll start comparing you to the porn goddesses.  Fear that he'll want you to do things or dress the way the porn goddesses do. 

Fear that he'll decide that this isn't the life for him and he'll move on.  Fear that he's cheating on you now or will in the future.  Fear that you're gonna fuck up the relationship with something you say or do.

Fear that if you say anything to your doctor, the doctor will call in a priest to exorcise the demons in you.

Been there.  Done that.  Got the t-shirt and promptly forgot where I put it.  Fear and I are best buddies.

You have to decide when to stop letting fear control you.  No one can do that for you.  No one.  Only you.

Baby steps.  Take your fear by the scruff of the neck and get a handle on it. 

Quoting Anonymous:

 Right. It takes a lot to get my trust and we went back and forth in the start of the realtionship and was talking to other girls. Then he started watching porn behind my back but nothing HUGE that would make me act this way because we over came it but things still pop up from it. no I havnt because I am scared too.

Quoting Anonymous:

I understand the separation anxiety.  Truly, I do.  My husband can't go to the barber shop without me knowing it because if he's not here in the mornings when I wake up, I put myself in such a state that I want to throw up.

Is there some reason why you don't trust him? 

Husbands can be intimidated by someone who is going through emotional roller-coasters, especially with the pregnancy.  Some husbands just don't "get it" you know?  The emotions are very real, honey. Personally, I can't tell my husband everything.  I don't keep what you might call "secrets" but I don't tell him the things that make me sad.  Sadness is my way of healing old/new wounds and I've taught myself not to let it take over for too long.  I purposely move myself into a better place whether I feel like it or not.

Have you talked to your doctor about the emotions and anxiety?

Quoting Anonymous:

 I had to watch my dd. I don't trust him yet we only been married a year. I get really bad anxiety but my dh doesn't believe in stuff like that so it is hard to learn to cope with it. I feel extra bad because he brought home my favorite movie to watch and flowers and made me dinner because I was crying before he left then he found that out and everything changed.

Quoting Anonymous:

It's really easy to mis-understand a situation, hon. Spending time with family is a good thing but I'm curious why you didn't go.


Well, in my experience, when I have a tight rein on someone, it usually means I don't trust them in some significant way.  It could be something simple like you don't trust him not to pick up the Pepsi when he's at the store or it could be something like you don't trust him not to talk about you behind your back. 

You have to remember than anxiety isn't necessarily a negative thing.  Sometimes, it's there to prepare you for something positive that's about to happen or prepare you for an event that will take place. 

Quoting Anonymous:

 He did but I just couldn't understand it. We had no extra money and we just went to the movies the night before now that I am calm I get he just wanted to spend time with his family and now I feel dumb. I don't know how to not be so controlling and how to deal with emotions

Quoting Anonymous:

Did he feel like he needed some time with family?  Why didn't you go with him?

 


 


 


matreshka
by Ruby Member on Jul. 21, 2012 at 8:46 AM

(((hugs))) sometimes I find that holding an ice cube helpsme from following through on the urge to cut.  take care of yourself.

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