She's selfish and won't let me get help!
I've struggled with depression for a long time, maybe since I was 14 or so and have never gotten help. My parents always just say I should suck it up. They think depression is just sadness and I'll get over it.
I recently got pregnant again and it really was not ideal. I'm still not working and bf disappeared when I told him. I saw no way out, I didn't tell anyone else and I had an abortion. It was something I swore I would never do and I'm really struggling with it. I had complications from the abortion and about 2 months ago, I almost died. I am alright now but now my parents know. I thought that'd better for me. That I wouldn't have to bottle everything up anymore. Boy, was I wrong! My mother is pretty well known here. She has a high profile job and is on several different boards including some medical one and she knows more or less all the drs around. She said she and dad would help me in any way I needed to deal with all that happened. I am grateful and told her I would like to go for therapy. She flat out told me no because everyone knows her and people will talk. Now I see that she obviously values her reputaion over my well being. Things are just getting worse for me and I seriously just want to die. If it weren't for my daughter I would have done it already. I'm hanging in there for her. I seriously feel like I'm going to fall apart soon though. I have no one to talk to, not even meds to fall back on. I don't know what to do anymore and my own mother is being too selfish to help me.
I know that was long, I just needed to let that out. Thanks for reading.