It makes me angry because I asked him why make me a mother if you saw no future with me. He never responds always changes the subject or either tells me to move on, and yes our pregnancy was planned which makes me question once again, why make me a mother?
Before when I was pregnant my bd left me for a 15 year old ! And he's 21. So it made me an emotional wreck cause he was always with her, never came to my appointments for our dd it just got me upset.
Anyway that didn't last to long but he still continued to mess with minors I just didn't understand. I took up with my bd's beatings verbal and emotional abuse and still tried to wanna be a family with him.
I have up soon enough cause its no point into forcing someone to feel or do certain things. Just isn't fair, but now I just sit at home alone with my dd wondering how life would've been if we could just be a family.
I concern more on what he does and how much it hurts to know he talks to all these females. Don't get me wrong I'm there for my daughter day and night give her the attention she needs and all, but I find myself wanting to cry and depressed because like I said before I wanted to be a family.
I've accepted being a single mother on some levels but sometimes I feel as though if I wasn't good enough for him then I'm not gonna be good enough for anyone. I don't wanna be a single mom for the rest of my life but I guess till whenever I'm still gonna raise my dd and live her no matter what man or not I just wish I wouldn't think about her father anymore :(
You have it backwards.
He wasn't good enough for you.
Any man who cheats isn't good enough for you. Any man who verbally, emotionally or physically abuses you isn't good enough for you.
Why? Because he's not a real man. Real men don't do that to you. Try not to stress out over this "man" because he's not worth it. You and your dd deserve a real life with real happiness - not something that's based solely and completely on a lie.
He's shown me just about every reason why I shouldn't be with him but yet I try to look past that when I know I shouldn't. He's put me in the hospital then jail before for defending myself with a weapon that wasn't even used upon him, I know he's wrong for me but sometimes I wonder where did I go wrong cause the girls he does speak to he treats em so good
Quoting Anonymous:You have it backwards.
He wasn't good enough for you.
Any man who cheats isn't good enough for you. Any man who verbally, emotionally or physically abuses you isn't good enough for you.
Why? Because he's not a real man. Real men don't do that to you. Try not to stress out over this "man" because he's not worth it. You and your dd deserve a real life with real happiness - not something that's based solely and completely on a lie.
Quoting ashleighmama:
Im so sorry hes being a jerk. Just remember, you ARE worth something! Dont give him the power to take that away from you. You should NEVER have to put up with a mans abuse of ANY kind in order for him to love you and for you all to be a family. If he loved you, he WOULD NOT abuse you in any way. I know how hard it is to be broken hearted and seeing him with other females but it also sounds like hes an Ass and not mature enough to be a part of this family that you envision. It sounds as if hes done enough damage already. I say concentrate on your little girl and maybe bettering yourself, like school or training or something and when the right man comes along, youll know in your heart that its right and that you got the better man. Theres lots of guys that will love you AND your little girl. Hugs to you mama :-)
Quoting Lynnster327:
If it only it was easier said then done! Many times when I do get the chance to finally move on, he comes along and once again gives me false hope that we will be a family, it drives me insane even though I know the outcome.
He's shown me just about every reason why I shouldn't be with him but yet I try to look past that when I know I shouldn't. He's put me in the hospital then jail before for defending myself with a weapon that wasn't even used upon him, I know he's wrong for me but sometimes I wonder where did I go wrong cause the girls he does speak to he treats em so good
Quoting Anonymous:You have it backwards.
He wasn't good enough for you.
Any man who cheats isn't good enough for you. Any man who verbally, emotionally or physically abuses you isn't good enough for you.
Why? Because he's not a real man. Real men don't do that to you. Try not to stress out over this "man" because he's not worth it. You and your dd deserve a real life with real happiness - not something that's based solely and completely on a lie.
if he was abusing you in any way you are better off without him. i know it might hurt right now not to be a family but that wont always be the case. you will probably meet someone and hopefully he will be better to you and love your daughter. set your standards higher this time. love and take care of you daughter just like you are doing and be a good mom. you can take pride in that. im sure you are a wonderful mother. try to focus on making friends with other people or attend some play groups with your child and meet new mommas. time will heal everything.
This is what an abuser does, this is what my ex did to me for years. You don't deserve what he has done to you. I know its hard to move on, especially from an abusive relationship, but that is the control he has over you. Do you go to counseling at all? It would really help you get your self-esteem back.
I know being a single mom is hard, I was one for a while. It is mych better for your child to have a happy healthy mom, than one who is trapped in a abusive relationship or bouncing from guy to guy looking to fill the void (I did that for a while too.)
Quoting Lynnster327:
If it only it was easier said then done! Many times when I do get the chance to finally move on, he comes along and once again gives me false hope that we will be a family, it drives me insane even though I know the outcome.
He's shown me just about every reason why I shouldn't be with him but yet I try to look past that when I know I shouldn't. He's put me in the hospital then jail before for defending myself with a weapon that wasn't even used upon him, I know he's wrong for me but sometimes I wonder where did I go wrong cause the girls he does speak to he treats em so good
Quoting Anonymous:You have it backwards.
He wasn't good enough for you.
Any man who cheats isn't good enough for you. Any man who verbally, emotionally or physically abuses you isn't good enough for you.
Why? Because he's not a real man. Real men don't do that to you. Try not to stress out over this "man" because he's not worth it. You and your dd deserve a real life with real happiness - not something that's based solely and completely on a lie.
Quoting matreshka:This is what an abuser does, this is what my ex did to me for years. You don't deserve what he has done to you. I know its hard to move on, especially from an abusive relationship, but that is the control he has over you. Do you go to counseling at all? It would really help you get your self-esteem back.
I know being a single mom is hard, I was one for a while. It is mych better for your child to have a happy healthy mom, than one who is trapped in a abusive relationship or bouncing from guy to guy looking to fill the void (I did that for a while too.)
Quoting Lynnster327:
If it only it was easier said then done! Many times when I do get the chance to finally move on, he comes along and once again gives me false hope that we will be a family, it drives me insane even though I know the outcome.
He's shown me just about every reason why I shouldn't be with him but yet I try to look past that when I know I shouldn't. He's put me in the hospital then jail before for defending myself with a weapon that wasn't even used upon him, I know he's wrong for me but sometimes I wonder where did I go wrong cause the girls he does speak to he treats em so good
Quoting Anonymous:You have it backwards.
He wasn't good enough for you.
Any man who cheats isn't good enough for you. Any man who verbally, emotionally or physically abuses you isn't good enough for you.
Why? Because he's not a real man. Real men don't do that to you. Try not to stress out over this "man" because he's not worth it. You and your dd deserve a real life with real happiness - not something that's based solely and completely on a lie.
From what I'm reading, you didn't do anything wrong except just be his girl.
As I see it (and again, this is just my opinion), you can either continue to "look past" his faults (the cheating, the abusive relationship which will eventually be shown to your dd - it will, you know. It's the nature of his beast) while he's looking around at other honeys
OR
you can leave and get a really good life for yourself and your dd who is being totally influenced by your decisions to stay with this man. Her life has a great possibility of turning out like yours so if you want her life to be a better one, she's depending on you to have the courage to make it better for both of you.
This does not include men who cheat, lie and abuse.
Your choice.
Quoting Lynnster327:
If it only it was easier said then done! Many times when I do get the chance to finally move on, he comes along and once again gives me false hope that we will be a family, it drives me insane even though I know the outcome.
He's shown me just about every reason why I shouldn't be with him but yet I try to look past that when I know I shouldn't. He's put me in the hospital then jail before for defending myself with a weapon that wasn't even used upon him, I know he's wrong for me but sometimes I wonder where did I go wrong cause the girls he does speak to he treats em so good
Quoting Anonymous:You have it backwards.
He wasn't good enough for you.
Any man who cheats isn't good enough for you. Any man who verbally, emotionally or physically abuses you isn't good enough for you.
Why? Because he's not a real man. Real men don't do that to you. Try not to stress out over this "man" because he's not worth it. You and your dd deserve a real life with real happiness - not something that's based solely and completely on a lie.
how do I learn to be patient?
- Lynnster327
on Aug. 7, 2012 at 12:41 AM