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8 Ways to Be A Good Mother Instead Of A Perfect One (PIOG)

Posted by on Aug. 28, 2012 at 10:56 AM
  • 9 Replies

http://www.postpartumprogress.com/8-ways-to-be-a-good-mother-instead-of-a-perfect-one?fb_ref=wp

I found this article this morning and thought it was refreshing. It gives me a little strength, and so I thought I'd share it with you. It's about taking all the "shoulds", "shouldn'ts", and "always," (all the absolutes) out of your vocabulary as a necessary part of mothering. If you have time, give it a read. I think you'll like it. I know I did!

by on Aug. 28, 2012 at 10:56 AM
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Replies (1-9):
elwalters77
by Erica on Aug. 28, 2012 at 10:26 PM
1 mom liked this
Excellent! TFS
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susie3g
by on Aug. 29, 2012 at 10:11 AM

You're welcome. :) I'm glad you were able to get something out of it. 

Quoting elwalters77:

Excellent! TFS


mrs.hildebrand
by on Sep. 17, 2012 at 9:33 AM
2 moms liked this

This is exactly what I needed! Thanks for sharing! :)

susie3g
by on Sep. 17, 2012 at 10:21 AM
You're welcome. I have to constantly remind myself that it's ok to not be a perfect mom. I'm glad you could glean from it, too. :)

Quoting mrs.hildebrand:

This is exactly what I needed! Thanks for sharing! :)

Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Tracys2
by Gold Member on Sep. 17, 2012 at 10:45 AM
1 mom liked this

I love it and just shared it on facebook. I think that "should" list hangs over a lot of us, subtly reinforced in the strangest ways, even when we rationally deny some or all of it and know list #2 is better for all involved. 

Having it in black and white really does help

susie3g
by on Sep. 17, 2012 at 4:52 PM

I'm glad you enjoyed it. :) It really put things into perspective for me. Yeah, we know that list #2 is much better for all involved, like you say, but it's hard to remember that once  our thoughts start spiraling out of control. I think you're right; the words in black and white really help. 

Quoting Tracys2:

I love it and just shared it on facebook. I think that "should" list hangs over a lot of us, subtly reinforced in the strangest ways, even when we rationally deny some or all of it and know list #2 is better for all involved. 

Having it in black and white really does help


lizjones
by on Sep. 17, 2012 at 5:36 PM
1 mom liked this
This really made me feel a bit better. I had severe anxiety and depression(I'm supposed to be on medication for botg because I never know what makes me depressed ir what causes my anxiety attacks so I can't calm myself down) before I was even pregnant and I refuse to take medication so since I've had my son my depression a d anxiety have skyrocketed. I feel horrible being depressed even though I have my son, I've always felt like I should always be happy because I have him. Being depressed when I feel I owe it to my son to be happy just makes me even more depressed. I've always put the stress and pressure on myself to be a perfect mother bevause my mother was the farthest thing from even being a good mom. This article put things into perspective and made me realize there is nothing wrong with not being a "perfect" mother. I'm being the best mother I can be. Thank you.
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jurnee14
by on Sep. 17, 2012 at 6:27 PM
1 mom liked this

This is great, it should be required reading for all expectant and new moms. It took me years to learn these thing on my own. 

susie3g
by on Sep. 17, 2012 at 6:33 PM
This makes me soooo happy that others are getting something out of this. I know exactly what you mean when you say that you feel like you owe it to your son to be happy. I've had those thoughts many many times. I just had my second child two months ago. My oldest is 18. This time around is so different. I don't know why, either. Maybe it's because I'm getting old. But I don't feel happy all the time when I see her, not even most of the time really. It's pitiful the way that I have beat myself up over how I feel depressed in the midst of having such a beautiful healthy babygirl. My partner says that there is no "right" way to feel. We just feel the way we do about things, and that's that. As long as I'm taking care of her the best I can, then I've done right by her, regardless of how I feel. Don't get me wrong. I love her with all my heart! I'm just not overjoyed at being a mom, I guess. I go through the motions, doing what needs to be done, I try to bond with her in a million ways, and at the end of the day I just think... finally this day is over. When I read that article for the first time, I cried. I came to cafemom for support many months ago and there is so much bashing from the "perfect mothers"... I thought surely someone on here could use that article, too.

Quoting lizjones:

This really made me feel a bit better. I had severe anxiety and depression(I'm supposed to be on medication for botg because I never know what makes me depressed ir what causes my anxiety attacks so I can't calm myself down) before I was even pregnant and I refuse to take medication so since I've had my son my depression a d anxiety have skyrocketed. I feel horrible being depressed even though I have my son, I've always felt like I should always be happy because I have him. Being depressed when I feel I owe it to my son to be happy just makes me even more depressed. I've always put the stress and pressure on myself to be a perfect mother bevause my mother was the farthest thing from even being a good mom. This article put things into perspective and made me realize there is nothing wrong with not being a "perfect" mother. I'm being the best mother I can be. Thank you.
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