I have a great dh and that depresses me!

[Anonymous]

I'm so insecure that I want to leave him before he hurts me : (

My mom left me again and again my entire life.

My dh isnt the best buy he's a decent father, a hard worker, and faithful.

I feel like he loves me soo much at times and then other times I just want to be by myself for the rest of my life. Where no one can hurt me.

[KimmyShaw]

You need counseling to work through it

[flowrsgalore]

Be grateful you have a good guy & that he loves you.  Hopefully he is understanding of what you go through with depression.  Sometimes I feel the same way, not that I want to leave my dh, but that my depression can be such a drag & he may just get sick of it.  The thing is as good as my dh is, he isn't perfect either.  When I start getting paranoid, I have to remind myself that is all it really is, me being paranoid.  Sometimes it's my little kick in the butt that I need to quit wallowing & get it together better.  It's hard though to get out of those negative spiraling thoughts though sometimes.  I suppose, as blunt as the previous comment was it may be worth seeking a counselor if you think it may help.

[Anonymous - Original Poster]

Thank you!!! It sounds like you know what I'm going through.

Quoting flowrsgalore:

Be grateful you have a good guy & that he loves you.  Hopefully he is understanding of what you go through with depression.  Sometimes I feel the same way, not that I want to leave my dh, but that my depression can be such a drag & he may just get sick of it.  The thing is as good as my dh is, he isn't perfect either.  When I start getting paranoid, I have to remind myself that is all it really is, me being paranoid.  Sometimes it's my little kick in the butt that I need to quit wallowing & get it together better.  It's hard though to get out of those negative spiraling thoughts though sometimes.  I suppose, as blunt as the previous comment was it may be worth seeking a counselor if you think it may help.

[flowrsgalore]

Well I suppose so in a way. I have woken up from having bad dreams that I'm in the midst of losing my marriage. The thing is hubs really gives me no indication that I need to worry. It's more that I worry my behavior could get to be too much of a burden.

Quoting Anonymous:

Thank you!!! It sounds like you know what I'm going through.

Quoting flowrsgalore:

Be grateful you have a good guy & that he loves you.  Hopefully he is understanding of what you go through with depression.  Sometimes I feel the same way, not that I want to leave my dh, but that my depression can be such a drag & he may just get sick of it.  The thing is as good as my dh is, he isn't perfect either.  When I start getting paranoid, I have to remind myself that is all it really is, me being paranoid.  Sometimes it's my little kick in the butt that I need to quit wallowing & get it together better.  It's hard though to get out of those negative spiraling thoughts though sometimes.  I suppose, as blunt as the previous comment was it may be worth seeking a counselor if you think it may help.

 

[Kathy489]

It's a lack of self-esteem that makes you believe you don't deserve to be treated well, and you want to run before he gets a chance to hurt you. It's a classic mind game right out of the textbook. A counselor can help you with it. Both of you would benefit by going together. Good luck.

[Anonymous - Original Poster]

I know. Sadly we don't have money to shell out for that but then I also feel like how can I not?

I AM aware of what is causing me to feel this way so I suppose it keeps me in reality. But I don't like that nagging feeling inside.

Quoting Kathy489:

It's a lack of self-esteem that makes you believe you don't deserve to be treated well, and you want to run before he gets a chance to hurt you. It's a classic mind game right out of the textbook. A counselor can help you with it. Both of you would benefit by going together. Good luck.

[jurnee14]

I can understand, I have been in sme abusive relationships in the past and my relationship now is good. I alos have a lot of anxiety and I have to remind myslef that just because we might have a disagrrement and argue from time to time, it doensnt mean I should end the relationship. To me, because of my past, it always seems the prudent thing to do is just leave, but I have to remember that this is a differnt relationship, and Im not the same person I was back then. Good luck to you!

[lyrick24]

 just because your mother left you time after time in your life does not mean your husband is going to. you are very deserving of him. just enjoy that.

[matreshka]

Hopefully you can find a way to get sliding scale or free counceling or go to a free support group for survivors of mental/emotional abuse and it will really help you.

I get the same way.  I have run from a lot most my adult life because I didn't want to lose it.

[deltathree]

I agree with the others hun - hope you can work thru this....hugs.