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Depression Support Center Depression Support Center

Social Anxiety- conflict-free conversation topics

Posted by on Sep. 8, 2012 at 11:09 AM
  • 8 Replies

For those of us with social anxiety, my new thing is to come up with a list of things that are OK to talk about with strangers so that I always have something to say when around strangers. If you don't have SA, this might sound stupid, but for those of us who do, how about it? 

NB: Many of us with SA are really bad at judging if we are too personal or stand-offish, so I'm picking subjects that aren't likely to run into this. Also, I want to avoid the nastiness of politics, because I hate conflict (yes, I'm a mess). I also avoid asking about work, because I don't work so that topic dies an ugly death fast when they ask me back, or if they're unemployed and about to lose their house.

--Weather

--Differences between where you live and they do ("have you ever visited Place X? What did you think of it? I really like this local scenery/park. Do you know a good restaurant nearby?")

--Hobbies, ie "What do you do in your spare time?" (only works if they don't reply "I don't have spare time")

--Travels- "Have you ever been to Place Z?"

--Music/moveis/books- these are good because you can learn something about them and no potential for conflict, BUT kind of awkward if you're someone who almsot never likes the same stuff as they do

Anything else? I know I'm not the only one with SA here, there are tons of us!

I know I was at a funeral last week and the people I knew, I could talk to them about their recent facebook posts (because those topics are always OK) or their studies or travels. So this is for people we don't know and aren't on fb.

by on Sep. 8, 2012 at 11:09 AM
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Replies (1-8):
BEXi
by on Sep. 8, 2012 at 1:26 PM

I am Agoraphobic, so talking to people, no matter the topic can be very hard for me. :( I have to force myself at work though.. by the time I am done with my shift, I just want to slither away from the world.

elwalters77
by Erica on Sep. 8, 2012 at 1:40 PM
Excellent suggestions!
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
jurnee14
by on Sep. 8, 2012 at 4:12 PM
1 mom liked this

great ideas!  I have to small talk with my pts at times, so I will usually stick to weather, pets(if I know they have them), kids/grandkids(if they have) , and since most people arent from fl, where they are originally from. 

leahbeah143
by Leah on Sep. 8, 2012 at 11:41 PM
2 moms liked this

 those sound like great topics! what about where people are from or where they grew up?

ashleighmama
by Ashleigh on Sep. 8, 2012 at 11:51 PM
Those are great suggestions. I have SA and it SUCKS! I panic when I have to be around people I don't know in a social setting. I avoid a lot of things because of SA. Needless to say I don't really have friends either. It's a lonely existence. I like leahbeah's suggestion about where people are from or where they grew up as well.
rhodaj
by rho on Sep. 9, 2012 at 4:06 PM

That sounds like a good idea

flowrsgalore
by Bronze Member on Sep. 10, 2012 at 3:54 AM

It seems like I'm always talking mom stuff with other moms, it can be dull, but fills the silence. When I'm  not in the mood for mom topics & I happen to be around other moms it's rough & I probably come off as unfriendly b/c I'm not adding much.  Thankfully I don't find myself too often stuck with stangers where I need to make small talk go on for too long. A good conversationalist has topics at the ready for instances when they need to be on. It'd be nice to make people feel comfortable & be comfortable myself.

deltathree
by Gold Member on Sep. 10, 2012 at 11:32 AM

great ideas!

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