I shouldn't care but I do, and it tears me up inside

[zmans_mommy]

Just found out one of my friends is pregnant. She's one of my ex boyfriends ex girlfriends. I messaged her asking if she was pregnant, she messaged back saying "Yeah and don't worry it's not his." I was scared that it would be his. But I'm married, have a family of my own. I shouldn't care, even if it were his- especially if it was his.

And my mood has skyrocketed down down down.

[zmans_mommy]

Thanks :)

I'll have to check the books out!

Quoting Kathy489:

It is normal. Years ago, I ran into the first guy I was engaged to. We were in our early 20's still. He had gotten married and had two kids by the time I ran into him. It hurt like hell because all I saw was that was my place. I was the one who wanted kids and to be married. What I saw was "being in love with love," and not exactly that it wouldn't work out with the wrong person.

I thinnk it's human nature to look back because that's what is familiar to us. The future is unknown, so we naturally turn back to what was comfortable in the past. There are some really good books out there if you are into reading. Dr. Phil has a couple of good ones. Barbara De Angelis wrote Are You the One For Me? That one really put things into perspective for me.

Keep looking forward!  Focus on what you have and how much a happy family means to your own children. You are giving your children their future. Good luck.

[Kathy489]

Look into places that offer counseling based on income.You don't have anything to lose if you just make a few phone calls out of the phone book. Someone will lead you to an answer.

[zmans_mommy]

Thank you :)

Quoting Kathy489:

Look into places that offer counseling based on income.You don't have anything to lose if you just make a few phone calls out of the phone book. Someone will lead you to an answer.

[jurnee14]

I know I have a tendency to think what if? at times, or to romanticize the past. But then I try to remember what it was really like and why an ex is an ex after all.  it usually brings me to my senses.  I have an exbf tht calls or texts me from time to time, just to bs, and it alwyas leaves me wondering what might have been.  

[Anonymous]

 I still have feelings for my daughter's father even though he is married and we haven't been together for many years. 

I know how you feel about.  Just because you are married doesn't mean you still can't think about someone in your past who meant so much to you.  My ex is getting a divorce and I know he will never want to be with me again so I just deal with it as hard as it is.  I really lost a good guy.  I haven't had anyone who loved me since. 

Good luck.

[doodles181]

I was afraid of meds too....and you know what? They did change me...into a much happier and healthier person.....you may want to rethink your options....meds might help you become the happy person you are longing to be! :-)

Quoting zmans_mommy:

I know. I wouldn't. I don't even talk with the guy anymore. No I'm not on meds, I'd be too afraid to be. Ive heard too many horror stories about depression pills changing people.

Quoting Kathy489:

Be careful of sabotaging what you have now with your own family. Maybe counseling can help you straighten your feelings out. Are you on meds for depression? If not, maybe consider it?