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Don't know anymore

Posted by on Oct. 11, 2012 at 5:33 PM
  • 8 Replies

I know I try to reply to some of you ladies with positive encouragement but right now I can't find any for myself. I just feel like such a crappy mom, my parents are pushing me on my ex taking my son overnight on weekends. They make me feel like I don't care and that I should just keep my son from his dad. Then I feel like crap if I'm letting my son stay with his dad and girlfriend, when I don't know a lot about this girl. Keeping my son every other weekend will probably be a battle with my ex, it was an arguement just to keep him last weekend. I think I'm going to have to go to court to get it taken care of. Ever since I've had my son I constantly go through feeling like he'd be better off without me, that I should have given him up for adoption. It's hard to shake my feelings of worthlessness. I just want to disapear. My son is 4 and autistic, I really don't think it would be hard for him to adjust if I wasn't around. I just hate the fact that everyone can make me feel like a child who can't make decisions for myself. I'm sorry about going on about this poor me stuff, I know other people are dealing with harder things, and of course I feel more like shit for being depressed about my life. I'm sorry I guess I just needed to vent.


by on Oct. 11, 2012 at 5:33 PM
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Replies (1-8):
by on Oct. 11, 2012 at 6:26 PM
I'm sorry you're feeling like this. Hugs mama! I go through the same kinds of feelings all the time, but I have come to realize that my kids DO need me. They are what keeps me alive. Depressed or not, our kids need their mom. I hope things start looking up for you.
by Group Admin on Oct. 11, 2012 at 6:38 PM

 you are not a bad mother and your son would not be better off without you. let your parents know that you are there to make the decisions for your son. take a stand. good luck with things.

by on Oct. 11, 2012 at 8:05 PM
Sorry You're having such a rough time, but i assure You that your son would miss You. I think You'd have a hard time in court in trying to get full custody of your son. It does sound like your ex is trying to be a good dad by seeing him. I wouldn't want to take that away from your ds.
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by on Oct. 12, 2012 at 11:22 AM
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Hi mama i say just keep talking to us here,we will help you however we can.You had the maturity to post your truth which says you can and do make your own good choices as a mom.hugsgood luck 

by on Oct. 14, 2012 at 7:30 PM

Sorry youre feeling this way. Your son would not be better off without you., dont worry about what your parents think, your son needs time with both parents. Dont get down on yourself, trust in your judgement. Vent away, thats whats so great about this group!

by on Oct. 14, 2012 at 10:54 PM

Maybe you should take some time to release all that negative energy. Either some visual meditation, nice long hot bath, drawing/painting, long walk in a wooded area, etc.... Sometimes so many things happen to us that it builds up inside of us. Especially when you have more bad things happen than good, then it becomes unbalanced inside of you. Going through separation is difficult, I know. I dont know you situation but letting you son see his dad situation is all on you, and honestly settling in court was my only way of keeping my girls father from controlling me. I dont know much about your situation, but you gatta clear your mind in order to make the right decisions for you son. Good luck to you, I hope the best for you.

by on Oct. 14, 2012 at 11:43 PM

I try to post postitive encouragement for others too. we all need some once in a while. That's what's so great about this group. we are here for you. I'm so sorry you are going through this. You are not worthless though and your son does need you. You are doing the best you can! Hang in there.

by Member on Oct. 15, 2012 at 12:11 PM

Thank you all for the positive comments. I guess just sometimes everyone needs a pity party before they can pull themselves back up.

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